AIBU to think Mil is lying

[SuspiciousOfMil]

Mil is always using the I have an appointment excuse to mean she has to visit on the day she wants. The appointment is either on a certain day so she can't visit then so she has to visit this other specific day instead. And that appointment is always in the middle of the day. Or the appointment is in the morning and it's half way to my house so I may as well visit. Amazed how many of these appointments fall on people's birthdays and are always in the morning. This times it's on her birthday and last time it was my sons birthday. That one was a hospital appointment in the morning that was half way between my house and her house when there is a big city in between her house and this hospital. And she got here suspiciously quite to have appointment, have breakfast at a brewsters fair and travel 40 miles on motorway (all completed in an hour and a half from start of hospital appointment).

At this point the I have an appointment (a hospital one or dentist one) has been used so much to visit on the day she wants it's suspicious. AIBU to think Mil is lieing at this point?

[3jane]

It's a pity she can't just ask to visit.

[TheMustressMhor]

Eh?

Does it matter? It doesn't sound like you like her much so if she has appointments when you ask her to come over, that's good, no?

[Fiberoptic]

Don’t people normally visit on birthdays 🤷‍♀️

[TheMustressMhor]

Just stop asking her, I suppose.

Or tell her that the day she finds convenient is not convenient for you, as you have an appointment.

[BumbleBeee69]

No you can't visit today... sorted

[SuspiciousOfMil]

ShamefulBlanket I have like on my sons birthday but she just came anyways.

[Flutteringsatlast]

Be out.
A few times and she will get the message.

[Foobydoo]

Why can't she visit on your sons birthday?

[Member984815]

Why wouldn't you want her to visit on your child's birthday

[Billben]

I detest lying so I would be out on these days to make sure she gets the message.

[Nowayorhighway]

My Mum does this. She always has a hairdressers appointment which is ridiculous because nobody needs their hair doing as often as she claims she has hers done. She isn’t a celebrity.

[Meandyouandyouandme]

I don’t understand why she can’t visit. If you’re busy, say it’s not convenient, if not, surely it’ll be nice to see her.

[sauvignonblancplz]

Your sons and her grandsons?
I can’t imagine why she feels she needs to make up excuses to call in , you sound so welcoming ...
In failing that just tell her it doesn’t suit.
I have the feeling you tell her it doesn’t suit a lot.

[TitianaTitsling]

You have the appointment so she is visiting when you are out? Or she is saying, oh I'm down your way for an appointment so l will pop in and visit?

[MatildaTheCat]

Why don’t you preempt her by inviting her to visit on days that do suit you? It sounds as if she’s inventing these appointments because she’s not really very welcome?

[HopeYouStepOnALego]

Maybe she's deliberately arranging appointments on those specific dates to enable a visit because it sounds like you wouldn't be naturally inviting her otherwise. Do you not like her OP? It's not unusual for a GP to visit their GC on their birthday. If there's something about her that makes you want to avoid her then make sure you're not in on those days and tell her you'll be out.

[CustardySergeant]

Don't you get on with her? Is it so wrong of her to want to visit on your son's birthday?

[Spied]

When she's told you where and what time her appointment is I'd tell her we won't be in that day as we also have an appointment same place/time so we'll see her there for a coffee in the local cafe.
Watch her squirm.

[TitianaTitsling]

Or she is saying she can't visit because of appointments?.. l have a wooly head to today so can't think!

[CornishPasties]

I think its pretty sad that she feels the only way she is able to visit is to lie about having an appointment. I suspect she has learnt that just asking to visit is always met with a no so she has little choice but to lie.

Im also baffled that you wouldnt want her to visit on your sons birthday, its hardly an unreasonable expextation that she gets to see her grandchild.

[cheeseball123]

Why would you not want her to see her grandson on his birthday?

[AnneLovesGilbert]

It doesn’t matter if she’s lying, if you don’t want her to visit then say no. Does she liaise all her plans through or does she also communicate with your partner?

[dontgobaconmyheart]

Seems a shame she has to contrive appointments to visit - is she not ever invited on her families birthdays, you don't see her on hers? Is there more to it OP and you don't like her for some reason?


You can always just tell her you are out on that day, and go out. Or simply say you'll accompany her to her appointments - the whole thing sounds a bit tragic though, I'd feel a bit embarrassed for her. Really it depends on the backstory of how she is generally, I think.