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To feel anxiety-ridden by Joe Wick's new speech on parental anxiety?

(156 Posts)
AllesAusLiebe Fri 28-Feb-20 00:04:32

Anyone else seen it on Instagram?

I only heard about this guy on here a few months ago and started listening to him, which I now regret!

Basically, he's created a 'helpful' video to respond to messages he's received from anxious parents in response to his numerous posts documenting his jetset lifestyle.

He claims that anxiety holds many people back from travelling with kids and eating out with kids and through that, you're missing out on 'making precious memories' (cringe). He claims that eating out with his young kids is great fun and they're not phased by sleeping in noisy bars(what?!) and restaurants because he and his wife have never enforced a routine and have been gleefully relaxed on their magical parenting journey.

He references being anxious about choking, jetlag and overseas diseases (all of which I'm guilty of) and dismisses these fears, too. They're actually very real fears, in my opinion. (Particularly having seen numerous people on my flight last week wearing face protection . . . !)

I only watched the damn video because I am an anxious parent with a son who has been tough going from day one and I thought it might help me chill a little. Instead, I'm feeling really conflicted. Part of me is pissed that this tool has made me feel lousy for not embracing some of the opportunities with my son that were available but part of me thinks it was a genuine attempt to help and I'm being too sensitive.

I'll try and link it if I can, if anyone is interested.

AllesAusLiebe Fri 28-Feb-20 00:06:12

Here goes. . . www.instagram.com/tv/B9CmmSInbvm/?igshid=12pyq4mzy9qff

WorraLiberty Fri 28-Feb-20 00:09:38

I have no idea who he is.

But as an adult you have a responsibility towards yourself to stop watching/reading anything that makes your anxiety worse.

Just do that.

AllesAusLiebe Fri 28-Feb-20 00:18:18

@WorraLiberty you don't always know whether something is going to make your anxiety worse until you see it. I don't understand why you bothered responding to my comment.

GulliBelle Fri 28-Feb-20 00:21:59

I've always thought he was a twat, even more so now he appears to think he is a parenting expert.

DangerMouse17 Fri 28-Feb-20 00:22:50

Joe has a very lavish and easy lifestyle. So it's all very easy for him to do/say and suggest we a fo the same. I'd like to know what other restaurant-goers thought when he took 2 babies in buggies to a posh restaurant late evening during his recent trip to Tulum...telling everyone he and his wife do this "all the time". Surely the kids are being disturbed by that noise if being in a busy restaurant too.

I like Joe but he suddenly thinks he is the Oracle on parenting. He needs to get back in his lane.

doolally1 Fri 28-Feb-20 00:28:21

I tend to ignore advice from celebs or influencers especially re parenting.

Most parents have routines because you know work, school, etc.

My eldest (6) has been to a fair few countries. Her fave trip was to a caravan in England & she would much rather eat fish fingers at home then haute cuisine at the latest hotspot.

managedmis Fri 28-Feb-20 00:29:57

Would you actually want to take your kids abroad, to restaurants and noisy bars? The man sounds like an utter fool.

I have to admit that I can be anxious - choking, SIDS, stairs, etc. People have commented that they think I should chill etc. But you know what? No. I won't chill. I'm keeping my kids safe!

Smithtylater Fri 28-Feb-20 00:30:05

He thinks he is the only person to have had children....ignore him OP he chats a load of pretentious crap...

managedmis Fri 28-Feb-20 00:31:02

because he and his wife have never enforced a routine and have been gleefully relaxed on their magical parenting journey.

^^

Honestly, it's just social media bollocks.

AllesAusLiebe Fri 28-Feb-20 00:37:52

Haha, that's the thing. I don't really use social media much so haven't developed an effective bullshit detector!

It's just made me wonder . . . have I created a kid who is pretty difficult to deal with because I've been so inflexible and havent taken him along for the ride with me whilst I continue to live the exact same life I had before. I honestly think this dude must have very easy babies if he's telling the truth.

Star81 Fri 28-Feb-20 00:44:03

I think you can have a routine but can adapt it to when you go to other places.

I have always taken mine abroad from as early as 8 weeks old and don’t sit in at night all the time. We adapted our routine to suit what we were doing.

I think he’s just trying to say it’s ok to go abroad and relax a little with the strict routines ?

DangerMouse17 Fri 28-Feb-20 00:45:10

Remember OP he is only going to show what he wants people to see. He has basically monetized his wife and children.

I'm sure like all children, his kids have their moments when they're less than picture perfect...so dont make comparisons.

RefuseTheLies Fri 28-Feb-20 00:45:41

have I created a kid who is pretty difficult to deal with because I've been so inflexible and havent taken him along for the ride with me whilst I continue to live the exact same life I had before

I’m a relaxed, go with the flow type person. As a baby, my daughter was cranky, inflexible, and loved Gina Ford style routines.

I’m more on the nature side of the nature vs nurture debate. It’s the kid and not the parent, IMO.

doolally1 Fri 28-Feb-20 00:45:51

well dd did behave impeccably in a very stuffy/posh French restaurant when she was 3. Other diners were aghast when they clocked her initially but a fair number complimented us during the meal. We were there by default due to car breakdown/starvation etc. She was/is a very easy child.

Nothing to do with my parenting proven by the arrival of dd2 who is wild, unpredictable & feral.

unexpectedthird Fri 28-Feb-20 00:52:03

I don't really follow him tbh but have seen a few if his instagram posts recently and have laughed lots.

I don't think his eldest is two yet? If she is, she's only just. He has SO much still to come. I remember being that niave. 😂

ActualHornist Fri 28-Feb-20 00:54:11

I’m not going to watch the video because I really don’t care enough, but I kind of agree with the overall premise. Also, my babies were very easy babies. This is definitely down to me wink

Having said that, he’s only ever going to show the good bits isn’t he? You won’t see the time when his twins shit through their nappies and clothing and had to be hosed down in the bath...oh sorry, that was mine.

ArriettyJones Fri 28-Feb-20 00:59:57

I don't think his eldest is two yet? If she is, she's only just.

Oh one of THOSE parenting know it alls hmm

Well children need routine and adults don’t always want his little darlings expressing themselves late at night in adult-orientated spaces. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near his “gleefully relaxed” parenting (he probably calls it a “parenting style” angry) and I wouldn’t want to be his children either.

He is just being defensive and calling everyone else anxious because it’s been pointed out that his parenting is a bit crap (whoever he is).

Don’t give him another thought.

FelicityFebruary Fri 28-Feb-20 01:14:19

I used to say even if the baby didn't " need " a routine, I did!

They turned out fine and grew into fine dining later on!

FelicityFebruary Fri 28-Feb-20 01:15:07

I do think most kids do better with routine tbh.

BeardedMum Fri 28-Feb-20 01:24:29

Just looked at his Instagram. The food he makes doesn’t look good. Broccoli muffins? 🤢

DioneTheDiabolist Fri 28-Feb-20 01:34:50

Oh OP, how could you possibly feel stressed by his message? It comes from a place of love.grin

Seriously though, this guy is such a relaxed parent that he got a nutritionist in to help him wean his 1st child, who isnt even 2 yet.hmm He hasn't got a clue. Just wait until Indie hits 3 and refuses everything that isnt beige and fried, that's if it doesnt happen sooner.

Not that he'll tell you any of this of course. The guy is a tool. Take everything he says with a pile of salt, or unsalted grilled fish if you like.

Daisy169 Fri 28-Feb-20 01:46:45

Friends of ours told us we should take DD abroad with us while she was little and before she became a toddler (so far, so good imo). They filled us with dreams of putting our then 4 month old "to bed" in the buggy and having dinner in nice restaurants/drinking in a nice hotel bar while she slept. The reality? She hated that buggy more than anything else before or since. She screamed the moment her butt hit it and would not stop until taken out. She was also 4 months old. Hello sleep regression! We spent the week like zombies wandering round the hotel complex with her in a sling grin

I've not quite forgiven those friends. Enjoyed sharing the rubbish nights with DH mind.

HuloBeraal Fri 28-Feb-20 02:04:24

My general mantra with parenting advice is take what chimes with you and discard the rest. Sometimes I hear something and think, oh I could use that/do that. Other times if my gut reaction is ‘what bollocks’ then I ignore it.
We have always travelled with our kids. The grandparents live 28 hours away by flight. And are quite elderly. My kids are very used to long haul flying. But I have a child who has weak lungs and a complex medical history. Am I worried about Coronavirus? Of course I bloody am. Do I take my kids out to noisy bars??? No! I wouldn’t relax and they wouldn’t sleep. My kids have decent routines, they had their sleep regressions (they are 8 and 3 now), they have their moments but generally we muddle along. One day they are eating sushi, the next day they are turning their noses up at a plain stir fry. Then next week that same stir fry is the fish of the week.
IG influencers are selling a lifestyle. They are not going to say ‘my kids have colic, and reflux and horrendous tantrums’ so parent like me!

WaitrosesCheapestVodka Fri 28-Feb-20 02:14:40

Would you actually want to take your kids abroad, to restaurants and noisy bars? The man sounds like an utter fool.

We've taken our 10mo abroad twice. Both times she slept in the buggy for evening meals contentedly. We've been lucky she'll do this.

Surely the problem is the judgement, saying that all parents should abandon routines is ridiculous. People tend do what works for them and their children, it's incredibly arrogant to assume you know better.

I'm also assuming there's no 7am nursery wake ups in his household. It's probably easier to be laid back with a nanny on board!

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