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To ask how to reply to this text?

(193 Posts)
MissEliza Thu 27-Feb-20 13:21:47

Dh and I have been good friends with a couple, we'll call Mary and John, for 7i or 8 years. Since the beginning of last year, it feels like John and Mary ghosted us and the rest of our friendship circle. They have turned down every invitation as a couple or simply not shown up without explanation and John has made an excuse every time dh has invited him for a pint. Over that time, the only time Mary has got in touch is to ask if my oldest dc can babysit their dcs, maybe four or five times. The last time was in October and we've had no contact with then since. We didn't even get a Christmas card and I've noticed John trying to avoid me in the street more than once!!
Today I received a message from Mary on my WhatsApp but addressed to my dc. It said like 'Sam (my dc) would you be able to babysit for us next Friday?' She has to know it's my phone number as the profile has my picture! AIBU to think when we've barely spoken to them in over a year and it's actually my phone she should really be saying 'Hi Eliza could you ask Sam if she would babysit for us'? Tbh Sam doesn't even want the babysitting money. The other times she did it, we persuaded her to help Mary and John out as it's very difficult to find babysitters. Right now I feel like if she can't talk to us, why should we do her a 'favour'.
How should I reply?

Cheesewine Thu 27-Feb-20 13:25:02

" oh hi, this is Elizas phone , not sams. how are you and john? not heard from you in a while!

ParkheadParadise Thu 27-Feb-20 13:25:40

I would ignore the message

Bluntness100 Thu 27-Feb-20 13:26:17

I’d respond and say spoke to Sam (this is my number) ans she’s not available.

And leave it there, there is clearly an issue and she doesn’t wish to have any form of communication with you personally,

Do you have no idea why? That message is very deliberately making a point.

dontgobaconmyheart Thu 27-Feb-20 13:31:01

Well you don't even see them so I wouldn't put too much stock into it really. Do they pay your DD to babysit? Does she want to?

If not I'd just send a brief reply along the lines of 'hi Mary, this is Elizas no. Unfortunately sam no longer has the time to take on babysitting duties (or whatever) Hope all's well though we've not heard from you or John in a while!'

It does sound like they're bring CF. October was some time ago OP, and no christmas card either. To be texting just after babysitting is pretty rude and would turn me right off them (if I ready hadn't been by their ghosting). You can't lose what you don't have!

cheeseball123 Thu 27-Feb-20 13:31:16

That's rude! I'd say something like "Hi Mary it's X, Sam's secretary. Sam is no longer taking babysitting jobs."

LucyAutumn Thu 27-Feb-20 13:32:33

How rude! Definitely use this as an opportunity to ask what's going on, what have you got to lose at this point?

RomaineCalm Thu 27-Feb-20 13:32:59

All sounds very odd - my initial reaction is that there are some relationship issues or some personal problems (e.g. health, family) and they just don't want to interact with anyone else at the moment.

Assuming that Sam doesn't want to babysit my reply would be "Hi! I've spoken to Sam and afraid she can't babysit on Friday. Hope all is ok, would be good to catch up soon."

Then get on with your own life. If they want to get in touch again they know where you are but I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Jessie9323 Thu 27-Feb-20 13:34:31

I'd just ignore it and not bother with them!

loobyloo1234 Thu 27-Feb-20 13:36:15

'Hi Mary, did you mean to text me and not Sam? Hope all is well, you seem to have just disappeared. Sam doesn't do babysitting anymore'

That is rude of her though FWIW

antisupermum Thu 27-Feb-20 13:37:11

I would also just ignore it, although I would be sorely tempted to follow @cheeseball123 idea!

Travis1 Thu 27-Feb-20 13:37:35

Well you aren't Sam, therefore she clearly has the wrong number so you can safely ignore

AryaStarkWolf Thu 27-Feb-20 13:38:14

Curiosity would get the better of me and I'd have to ask wtf is wrong with her

messolini9 Thu 27-Feb-20 13:40:27

"Hi Mary, it seems odd you are asking Sam to babysit when you have ghosted his parents.
If it is your sole choice to have stopped responding to any of my messages or invitations I can deal with that, but not with you being cheeky & disrespectful enough to continue blanking me but asking favours of my child.
If it is not your choice to have withdrawn from contact, I will understand, & am here for you when you want to reach out."

JustInCaseCakeHappens Thu 27-Feb-20 13:40:42

like Cheesewine wrote

Cuddling57 Thu 27-Feb-20 13:41:39

I would reply:
Who is this?

PeterPanGoesWrong Thu 27-Feb-20 13:43:55

I’d ignore. They’ve done gnored you for long enough, you don’t even owe them an explanation.
If they message you again, be blunt. Tell them they can’t ignore you for a year then ask a favour when it suits them.

WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne Thu 27-Feb-20 13:45:18

I would say "this is (op) 's phone number not Sam's, Sam isn't keen on babysitting at the moment good luck finding someone". I wouldn't bother with drama or convince DC to help if they're not keen.

Lobsterquadrille2 Thu 27-Feb-20 13:45:21

Does Mary have Sam's number or have you always acted as a go between in the past? I would possibly wonder if it's a very clumsy way of re-establishing contact with you, but only if she does have Sam's number too. If not then yes, rude.

ChiaraRimini Thu 27-Feb-20 13:47:04

I reckon one of them has had an affair with someone else in the group, the other found out and has made them go NC with everyone.

IntermittentParps Thu 27-Feb-20 13:48:08

spoke to Sam (this is my number) and she’s not available.

I agree with this. Fuck em.

johnwayneisbigleggy Thu 27-Feb-20 13:48:24

I think I'd go with the who is this?' to be honest. I really don't have the energy for 'friends' like that anymore - life is far too short.

LennyPugGoat Thu 27-Feb-20 13:50:55

Wrong number

EmeraldShamrock Thu 27-Feb-20 13:52:22

The cheek of her. Ignore and block or reply with one of the quick witted answers on here.
They won't need to avoid you anymore, take control go NC.

GabsAlot Thu 27-Feb-20 13:53:01

does she not have sams number-cheeky bitch

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