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AIBU?

Humiliated myself at work

167 replies

millerjane · 26/02/2020 20:54

Never felt wors - need a handhold

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Am I being unreasonable?

64 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
69%
You are NOT being unreasonable
31%
paperandfireworks · 26/02/2020 20:55

Whats the story

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OhCaptain · 26/02/2020 20:55

Um...you ok?

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Tellingitlikeitisnt · 26/02/2020 20:55

Aw what happened? Bet it seems way worse to you and everyone else has forgotten it.

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purplelila2 · 26/02/2020 20:55

What did you even do

YABU for posting without details how can we provide support?

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millerjane · 26/02/2020 21:00

I completely bottled it - I ALWAYS rise to the occasion but god knows what happened today. My heart is still pounding. I was the only woman presenting my findings to senior colleagues (large investagative project I have spent weeks on) and I genuinely feel like Ive let the side down.

ON paper I am supposedly intelligent but I always feel inadequate compared to the people around

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ByeMF · 26/02/2020 21:00

Like everyone else has said, it might not be as bad as you think.

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millerjane · 26/02/2020 21:01

I'm not a crier but I actually teared up during my pitch

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millerjane · 26/02/2020 21:02

Will have to give the same speech again tomorrow but i cant stand myself

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ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/02/2020 21:03

hbr.org/2008/05/overcoming-imposter-syndrome

Blame it on a tactical migraine and offer to clarify anything wasn’t clear.

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OhCaptain · 26/02/2020 21:03

But what do you mean? Did you get through it? Present the details?

Unless you stood there mute it might not be so bad. Flowers

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millerjane · 26/02/2020 21:04

I had an existential cris i think, thanks for listening

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millerjane · 26/02/2020 21:04

I presented 10% of what i should have

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Nicknacky · 26/02/2020 21:05

Why don’t you explain what happened and why being a woman is relevant enough for you to mention?

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tuttifritti · 26/02/2020 21:07

You prepared a pitch and you got a little nervous when presenting it. You are human and the presentation isn't the sum total reflection of the investigative work you have put in. Don't be so hard on yourself. Great you care so much, that's a valuable attribute in an employee

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millerjane · 26/02/2020 21:08

i just mentioned the fact i was the ony woman in a group of 50 as it left me feel extremely exposed, i suppose its not relevant at all really. I was also the youngest in the room by about 20 years so not sure gender comes into it on reflection

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OhCaptain · 26/02/2020 21:10

Oh you poor thing.

But tomorrow is another chance at it!

Look, we’ve all cocked up royally at some point in our careers! I know I bloody have!!!

Try to relax tonight. Have a bath, a glass of wine, a good cry, and some sleep!

You know this stuff. You’ve worked on it. You can do it!

If it helps, picture them all naked. Wine Flowers

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millerjane · 26/02/2020 21:11

i left the house this morning and it never even entered my brain that i would perform so poorly, usually i can make it up as i go along. i will never be able to look anyone in the eye again

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ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/02/2020 21:12

I found that it helped to remind myself that I had earned my place in the room just like the rest of them. I had as much right to be there and my views were just as valid.

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millerjane · 26/02/2020 21:13

im so torn up internally, i cant even keep any food down. The prospect of doing it all again is making me shake.

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millerjane · 26/02/2020 21:13

thanks for the support

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ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/02/2020 21:14

It will be fine. Prepare well for the next speech. Deliver it to an OK standard and blame a headache/migraine for the previous day.

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GracefulHippo · 26/02/2020 21:15

Miller, you can do it. Have a large glass of wine. Get up early tomorrow. Run it through at home. Make notes what to say for each page. Then smash it!

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ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/02/2020 21:16

Don’t try to wing it. Write some structured notes for yourself so you can stay focussed as your confidence is shaky.

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JoyceDivision · 26/02/2020 21:16

Ok, a senior female manager at our work told us if her first meeting with the CEO and other senior leaders... She was presenting, started to fluff it, spoke rubbish, started to cry from panicking then fainted.

She came round as she was being carted out over the shoulder if one of the senior leaders to get her some fresh air 😂

She's still there!

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thistimelastweek · 26/02/2020 21:17

You are a clever woman in what you perceive as a man's world.
So what's with the hiccuppy girly stuff?

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