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Humiliated myself at work

(168 Posts)
millerjane Wed 26-Feb-20 20:54:35

Never felt wors - need a handhold

paperandfireworks Wed 26-Feb-20 20:55:13

Whats the story

OhCaptain Wed 26-Feb-20 20:55:14

Um...you ok?

Tellingitlikeitisnt Wed 26-Feb-20 20:55:30

Aw what happened? Bet it seems way worse to you and everyone else has forgotten it.

purplelila2 Wed 26-Feb-20 20:55:45

What did you even do

YABU for posting without details how can we provide support?

millerjane Wed 26-Feb-20 21:00:31

I completely bottled it - I ALWAYS rise to the occasion but god knows what happened today. My heart is still pounding. I was the only woman presenting my findings to senior colleagues (large investagative project I have spent weeks on) and I genuinely feel like Ive let the side down.

ON paper I am supposedly intelligent but I always feel inadequate compared to the people around

ByeMF Wed 26-Feb-20 21:00:49

Like everyone else has said, it might not be as bad as you think.

millerjane Wed 26-Feb-20 21:01:54

I'm not a crier but I actually teared up during my pitch

millerjane Wed 26-Feb-20 21:02:46

Will have to give the same speech again tomorrow but i cant stand myself

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Wed 26-Feb-20 21:03:10

hbr.org/2008/05/overcoming-imposter-syndrome

Blame it on a tactical migraine and offer to clarify anything wasn’t clear.

OhCaptain Wed 26-Feb-20 21:03:27

But what do you mean? Did you get through it? Present the details?

Unless you stood there mute it might not be so bad. flowers

millerjane Wed 26-Feb-20 21:04:13

I had an existential cris i think, thanks for listening

millerjane Wed 26-Feb-20 21:04:52

I presented 10% of what i should have

Nicknacky Wed 26-Feb-20 21:05:45

Why don’t you explain what happened and why being a woman is relevant enough for you to mention?

tuttifritti Wed 26-Feb-20 21:07:49

You prepared a pitch and you got a little nervous when presenting it. You are human and the presentation isn't the sum total reflection of the investigative work you have put in. Don't be so hard on yourself. Great you care so much, that's a valuable attribute in an employee

millerjane Wed 26-Feb-20 21:08:37

i just mentioned the fact i was the ony woman in a group of 50 as it left me feel extremely exposed, i suppose its not relevant at all really. I was also the youngest in the room by about 20 years so not sure gender comes into it on reflection

OhCaptain Wed 26-Feb-20 21:10:29

Oh you poor thing.

But tomorrow is another chance at it!

Look, we’ve all cocked up royally at some point in our careers! I know I bloody have!!!

Try to relax tonight. Have a bath, a glass of wine, a good cry, and some sleep!

You know this stuff. You’ve worked on it. You can do it!

If it helps, picture them all naked. wine flowers

millerjane Wed 26-Feb-20 21:11:06

i left the house this morning and it never even entered my brain that i would perform so poorly, usually i can make it up as i go along. i will never be able to look anyone in the eye again

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Wed 26-Feb-20 21:12:47

I found that it helped to remind myself that I had earned my place in the room just like the rest of them. I had as much right to be there and my views were just as valid.

millerjane Wed 26-Feb-20 21:13:17

im so torn up internally, i cant even keep any food down. The prospect of doing it all again is making me shake.

millerjane Wed 26-Feb-20 21:13:45

thanks for the support

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Wed 26-Feb-20 21:14:43

It will be fine. Prepare well for the next speech. Deliver it to an OK standard and blame a headache/migraine for the previous day.

GracefulHippo Wed 26-Feb-20 21:15:04

Miller, you can do it. Have a large glass of wine. Get up early tomorrow. Run it through at home. Make notes what to say for each page. Then smash it!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Wed 26-Feb-20 21:16:22

Don’t try to wing it. Write some structured notes for yourself so you can stay focussed as your confidence is shaky.

JoyceDivision Wed 26-Feb-20 21:16:42

Ok, a senior female manager at our work told us if her first meeting with the CEO and other senior leaders... She was presenting, started to fluff it, spoke rubbish, started to cry from panicking then fainted.

She came round as she was being carted out over the shoulder if one of the senior leaders to get her some fresh air 😂

She's still there!

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