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Oh no, it's her

(201 Posts)
OhffsHelp Tue 25-Feb-20 15:12:45

Name change as lots of details.

So I have an ex, it was a very immature relationship that happend when I was in my late teens and he was early 20's. We'd only been together a handful of months when he suggested we get engaged and made noises about trying for a baby. I was understandably freaked out and dumped him.

But ex had a friend, we'll call her Jess. Jess was very controlling with ex. She'd insist he came on drives with her when we were having date nights. She'd turn up at his house and demand he came outside for a smoke, while I was sleeping over. And she was obsessed with telling him I was jealous of their relationship, honestly I didn't give two hoots. When we broke up ex implied they had been sleeping together the whole time, which wasn't surprising.

But anyway, we broke up, moved on. A few years have passed, but...

Jess is currently moving in next door to me as we speak shock
I don't think she knows I live here, I'm slightly panicking and having visions of her snearing at me anytime I take the bins out in my PJs. Or judging me through the window as I'm unattractively gardening. If she's still friends with ex, no doubt he'll be there all the time too, maybe they're a couple and he'll be moving in too.

Please tell me I'm being ridiculous and she won't recognise or care about me!

BBBear Tue 25-Feb-20 15:14:42

How long ago was all this? A couple of years then yes, they’ll probably spy on you over the garden fence. 20 years ago - just pretend you don’t recognise her.
Don’t invite her for a barbecue though.

SickOFant Tue 25-Feb-20 15:15:58

She might recognise you.

If she still 'cares' about you to the point of sneering at you then she's loopy.

I'd imagine (hope) she's grown up just like you have and you might be able to have a sensible adult conversation without resorting to insults, one-up-womanship etc.

How old are you all?

Are there any signs of a partner or children moving in with her?

TeapotCollection Tue 25-Feb-20 15:18:11

Beat her to it, go out and shout BOO! Bet you weren’t expecting me 😃

OhffsHelp Tue 25-Feb-20 15:18:21

It's been maybe 3 years? I'm early 20's they're a little older.

theemmadilemma Tue 25-Feb-20 15:20:33

OMG, that's a worst nightmare isn't it? Exactly how many years are we talking? Over 5 and I think it's safer... maybe.

L1appelDuVide Tue 25-Feb-20 15:20:43

Time to move house.

Digitalash Tue 25-Feb-20 15:22:08

3 years?! Is moving an option? grin

Seriously though you will be fine, they will recognize you and hopefully not give a shit.

Sexnotgender Tue 25-Feb-20 15:22:13

I thought you were going to say 20 odd years, if it’s only been 3 she’ll definitely recognise you... that’s awkward.

LemonBreeland Tue 25-Feb-20 15:22:25

Oh god, what a nightmare. Not really long enough ago to not be a bit of an issue. Hopefully you can just ignore and get on with your life.

niceclock Tue 25-Feb-20 15:23:41

bake a cake, and get a lovely card and welcome her to the neighbourhood. When she opens the door, be all gracious. haha.

64sNewName Tue 25-Feb-20 15:23:59

It sounds like you can’t out of it ok though and if anyone’s got reason to cringe it’s her?

64sNewName Tue 25-Feb-20 15:24:25

Sorry, I meant you came out of it ok

D4rwin Tue 25-Feb-20 15:24:28

3 years. That's a very short time. Maybe she was obsessed with you a little too much.

RoomR0613 Tue 25-Feb-20 15:24:35

Surely this is what Facebook was invented for? Spying on old acquaintances and next door neighbours grin

Sorry OP, I think your only choice is to move. Or maybe get a wig.

I would hate this so much. I hate having neighbours generally but neighbours with History. Urgh.

mynameiscalypso Tue 25-Feb-20 15:24:47

Pretend not to recognise her at all; I imagine that will annoy her immensely.

OhffsHelp Tue 25-Feb-20 15:26:40

Oh god, you were meant to tell me I'm being ridiculous!!! Time to burn my house down.

Morgan12 Tue 25-Feb-20 15:34:01

Talk about awkward.

Honestly don't even have any advice. Christ knows what I'd do. I'd want to move 😂

Take it she hasn't seen you yet?

AryaStarkWolf Tue 25-Feb-20 15:34:54

Yes burn down the house, only sensible option really

LadyMonicaBaddingham Tue 25-Feb-20 15:37:19

Say something like, "It's so weird. I'm sure we've met before, but I just can't place you..." Then when she tells you, you can grimace and be "Of course! Goodness me, I had a lucky escape there..!" <insert tinkly laugh>

namechanger0989 Tue 25-Feb-20 15:41:31

Oh dear, I would maybe try to make the first move so either pretend it was so insignificant you barely remember her or make a bit of a fuss letting her know you live there

OhWellThatsJustGreat Tue 25-Feb-20 15:42:53

Oh god how awkward.

Can you ride it out and when you inevitably bump into her say "oh my god Jess, hi, I didn't realise you were my new neighbour, welcome to the street" and walk away.

BabyWenger Tue 25-Feb-20 15:44:00

I'd act like I had no idea who she is. If she refers to your ex act like "Oh yes, I vaguely remember"

Act like it was a total non-event and she means nowt in your memory.

AnneKipanki Tue 25-Feb-20 15:45:08

Hopefully she was her eyes were always on him.

TokyoSushi Tue 25-Feb-20 15:45:12

Oh no OP! What type of house is it? How close is she? Eeek

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