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Was this a total overreaction?

(85 Posts)
Sundancer77 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:08:17

This morning we were at the beach with our Dd, 19 months. Dp was in the sea and dd was sat with me on the sand. Gorgeous day, people walking by with dogs etc and saying hello. A couple of ladies walk past and stop to chat to Dd, it happens a lot as she’s obviously little and most people generally like babies/toddlers. She then puts her hand out and tells her to ‘Come on’ and to walk down to the sea with her. My natural reaction was to quickly say no and grab her, is that normal? The lady then started saying it’s ok she wasn’t going to steal her etc and they laughed..I then felt like a bit of a dick.
To put in into context a bit more, we live in another country and being British, I’ve noticed I’m not as easygoing in this respect. I just felt a bit like a miserable, uptight, mistrusting person afterwards..but still wouldn’t have let her go! Aibu?

Sundancer77 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:09:44

*One of the ladies then put her hand out to take my daughters hand.

MrsBrentford Mon 24-Feb-20 22:11:06


goldenorbspider Mon 24-Feb-20 22:11:09

I wouldn't let a complete stranger walk my child to the sea. Really odd thing to do. Did they have kids with them?

undercoveraessedai Mon 24-Feb-20 22:12:27

Nope, yanbu - strangers shouldn't be trying to take your small child anywhere, especially on a beach!!

Toastytoes1 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:13:07

Not at all, I wouldn't let anyone do this either.

Daftodil Mon 24-Feb-20 22:13:59

Weird behaviour from a stranger! I would probably have reacted same as you. Better safe than sorry and all that.

Ohtherewearethen Mon 24-Feb-20 22:14:28

Fuck, no.

Sundancer77 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:16:18

They didn’t have kids with them, but looked like nice women, jogging along, possibly Mum and daughter (older)
I found it really odd also that you’d even say that to someone’s child 🤷‍♀️I don’t believe there was most likely anything bad in their mind, but they also seemed surprised by my reaction

TooTrueToBeGood Mon 24-Feb-20 22:16:20

I wouldn't let a stranger take my child (regardless of gender) off anywhere, under any circumstances. They would get one verbal warning and if that was not immediately complied with I would consider them a serious threat and respond accordingly.

mantarays Mon 24-Feb-20 22:17:42

Obviously YANBU. It’s not even about whether your child was in danger - as if you’re going to teach her it’s fine to walk off with a complete stranger.

Sundancer77 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:20:11

I obviously wouldn’t let her go, my aibu was to react that strongly (my instinct was just to grab her and say no) the lady wasn’t coming to grab her, they looked shocked, so I wondered if I was being a bit dramatic..just an odd thing to think I’d be ok with it 🤷‍♀️

Aquamarine1029 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:22:45

I don't care what country you're in, it would be madness to allow a stranger to walk off with your child. Not even within your eyesight.

Sundancer77 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:26:08

Exactly, just so bizarre that she’d do that, most likely innocently, thinking it’s normal, I was really taken aback.

Bipbipbipbip Mon 24-Feb-20 22:33:43

You were far more polite than I would have been. YANBU.

MotherOfAllNameChanges Mon 24-Feb-20 22:34:10


What country are you in op?

Sundancer77 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:39:30

I was quite rude and strong but also confused. We were sat fairly close to the waters edge and lots of people around, but just to put your hand out 🤷‍♀️Never bloody met the woman before!

Sundancer77 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:44:09

People can be quite full on with it here with little ones, which can be lovely as they generally only mean it in a nice way, but I often feel like a paranoid, unfriendly person when it comes to their advances towards my dc, but this was more than usual and just as if ‘You seriously think I’ll let you take my child’s hand’ 🤷‍♀️

justasking111 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:44:14

We were on holiday in a country where my white haired son aged 3 was a source of wonder, they all have black hair. We were in a busy market, people kept wanting to touch him. I felt really uncomfortable. Why would anyone want to take a child away with them, that is odd. I would have said no.

Eckhart Mon 24-Feb-20 22:44:23

I think she was quite rude, not you. You wouldn't let a complete stranger wander off on the beach with your flask, let alone your child. Her assumption that this would be OK is way over the boundary.

Catapillarsruletheworld Mon 24-Feb-20 22:47:18

I wouldn’t have wanted a stranger to take my toddler down to the sea, but then I am also a miserable, up tight brit.

It may be perfectly Irma behaviour for them, but I’d still find it odd.

Catapillarsruletheworld Mon 24-Feb-20 22:47:32


Sundancer77 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:48:56

That’s what I thought too, it wasn’t going to happen, no way. Their reaction to me felt as though they thought I was over the top and ridiculous, I don’t care what they think obviously, but it has baffled me how they’d think it’s ok and that someone wouldn’t react like that. It’s played on my mind a bit since this morning.

Sundancer77 Mon 24-Feb-20 22:54:37

I’m not in some exotic country either really, still in Europe, but there are differences, in the uk my baby is barely acknowledged 😂here, never left alone.

Danaiztaygana Mon 24-Feb-20 22:57:00

You are a victim of British tight mentality of mistrust. People wish well to your child, people can hug children for an innocent reason, people can play with your children. You are overreacting, but so are many people in the UK.

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