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What's the most ridiculous of astonishing lie you've ever heard?

(374 Posts)
SingleSidedShoulderShrug Sun 23-Feb-20 19:57:52

Just genuinely interested! Mine is that a colleague of mine told us her dad had died. So good she go home early? Of course we said he's who wouldn't say yes to that.. shame she didn't tell her dad he was meant to be dead or that she'd left early to grieve him as he picked her up as usual. Came in to ask where she was... we were like umm.. she's grieving you ? 😱

Warpdrive Mon 16-Mar-20 06:35:24

My best friend told me she had cancer.
It was in the earliest days of the internet and I looked up the specific type of cancer, and made a plan to overhaul our lifestyles (we lived together). We ate spinach and other leaves every day for 10 months.I went with her to her chemo appointments, and when we got there she would say that its upsetting to be in the oncology ward so I would go to the canteen for 3 hours and wait for her. There were lots of other ways it impacted me but the main ones were not sleeping and crying myself to sleep. Eventually she got the best news, that. she was in remission,
2 years later I found out it was a lie,
I hate spinach now.

WingingIt101 Sun 15-Mar-20 21:40:28

Girl I was at school with and was known to be an only child started telling people The older guy living at her house was her older brother and her mum had had him before she got together with her dad.
My mum was chatting to her mum and innocently mentioned him as they’d known each other years and found out he was in fact the lodger, not a secret Son and brother!
I asked her outright why she’d said he was her brother and she just deadpan said cause he is!
She later came over to me in PE and whispered menacingly in my ear “he’s my brother ok, and don’t you effing tell people he isn’t”

mrsBtheparker Sun 15-Mar-20 21:12:29

egularly missed visitation with the child as he had car troubles- he was a mechanic and co-owned a garage

They're often the worst, my electrician brother often had bare wires sellotaped into sockets and back in the day when plumbing a washer in was a major thing, no plastic piping, needed soldering etc., a friend got so fed up with her plumber husband not doing their machine that she turned off the water and sawed through the pipes!

mrsBtheparker Sun 15-Mar-20 21:04:57

Whenever we did a school production equipment would go missing/break down and then be found/fixed by our Stage Manager pupil just in time. After this had happened a few times we realised that he was hiding the equipment or sabotaging it then being the hero of the hour. He subsequently conned £250,000 from his friends and family for his 'cancer' and is currently serving life for murder!

SerenDippitty Sat 14-Mar-20 11:52:22

I think a lot of small kids are fantastists but grow out of it.

Yes. As a child I played with a little girl down the road. She had every new toy and doll imaginable but “wasn’t allowed” to play with the ones Ididn’t see, and could perform superhuman feats but “wasn’t allowed to”

SeaEagleFeather Sat 14-Mar-20 10:18:55

My ex spent nearly six months trying to get me to believe that he was actually an alien from Venus

did you go out with him for the comedy value?

MelanieFrontage Tue 03-Mar-20 01:10:00

In addition to my last post I’m ashamed to say that as a youngster I was a serial liar....
Every Saturday night I’d tell the bouncers at Nightclubs that I was on the guest list and the reason that I wasn’t actually on the list was because I was a photographer for some [insert name here] obscure magazine and we were doing a secret feature 😂
I think that I owe ‘The Face’ magazine about £1000 in door entry fees!

MelanieFrontage Tue 03-Mar-20 01:02:21

Unfortunately I know (knew) someone who is a serial liar. I was in a relationship with him for about a year or so 25 years ago.
He had been in the marines... LIE
He was discharged due to heart problems... LIE
Lie after lie after lie.
He did go on to stalk me and frightened the life out of me when one day, about a year after we had finished, he turned up at my flat telling me he’d moved into the flat next door.
I moved out immediately and haven’t seen him since although he has over the years tried to friend me on social media.
He wouldn’t stand a fucking chance if he tried anything on now though as I have lots of evidence of his stalking and weird shit behaviour.

GuineaSomethingGood Tue 03-Mar-20 00:49:41

ScreamingLadySutch Your mum sounds like my dad. Stand up to him and all hell broke lose. flowers to you

hazandduck Tue 03-Mar-20 00:33:35

My best friend in Junior school told me her dad was eaten by a lion.

He’s still alive and well to this day 🤣

strongteawith2sugars Tue 03-Mar-20 00:25:40

@uggmum sounds like my ex 🤣🤣

ScreamingLadySutch Thu 27-Feb-20 15:02:50

Mine is a sad one.

My mother. Aged 26 visiting over Christmas I stood up to her about something important and all hell broke loose.

Whilst I was trying to deal with her complete lack of respect and boundaries, my bother came to tell me off 'for being horrible to Mum'.

He told me what she had said.

That was the moment that I discovered that my own mother happily lied to get her own way.
And why during my childhood I had this INCREDIBLE POWER to be evil and destroy our family happiness without even knowing what I was doing..

Wow it was a bad moment. I lost 5 lb in 4 days in that house (wish I could do that now)

pangolina Thu 27-Feb-20 13:29:49

I used to work with a guy who told me:
His hamster had learned to take selfies
Will Smith went to his birthday
He had a ferarri but kept it at his parents house
He used to go see Oasis all the time before they got signed and was pretty good mates with Liam Gallagher. I pointed out that they released their first album when he was 6, he said his Dad was mates with all the bouncers in Manchester so they just let him in.

BusterMove Thu 27-Feb-20 11:49:33

I think the ones young children tell are just flights of imagination. Maybe so for the teens, too. I would have told everybody I was engaged to Robbie Williams in 1997, had they listened! (obviously, I've never met him)
some of the lies adults in this thread have told are just fucking weird, though.

uggmum Thu 27-Feb-20 06:50:14

My friend was totally duped by a pathological liar.

He love bombed her, moved into her house very quickly. They became engaged within a few months. Was unable to work due to a back injury and waiting for compensation of hundreds of thousands. Persuaded her to take out credit cards on the basis that his compensation would be received soon. Maxed them out with holidays and luxury living. He was estranged from his whole family and was totally blameless.
Was literally glued to her. I could never see her on her own.
Then he got a fabulous new job on a huge salary. She bought him a new suit, laptop etc. He left the house everyday to go to work.
Her ex husband was suspicious and did some digging.
It turned out that he was lying. There was no job, no compensation. He was leaving the house in the morning. Spending all day in a local pub and then coming home in the evening.
It all went to shit. He moved out. Straight into the home of another woman.
Left my friend with all the debt.
It turned out that he did this all the time. His family didn't speak to him as they were appalled by his behaviour.
My friend was devastated. It took years for her to recover from it.

HeadLikeAFuckinOrange Thu 27-Feb-20 02:22:36

A guy on our first (and only) date a couple of years ago - clearly stuck for conversation - told me he was the secret son of actor Bruce Lee, given up at birth.
He was entirely white, and only 30.

StoppinBy Thu 27-Feb-20 01:56:13

My sister once told her school that she wouldn't be in because our Grandma died.

Hahah my grandma was so upset when she found out.

OnNaturesCourse Thu 27-Feb-20 01:51:07

@BiscuitBarrels

Re pulling the door handle off... I have actually done this myself 😂 lol, and could feel the judgement through the phone when I called into work explaining why I'd be late.

I've also been known to genuinely lock myself in the house.

Also managed to lock the front open once. The key wasn't turning so I opened the door and turned the key to have a look at lock bolt..it locked and wouldn't unlock so I couldn't even shut the damn door.

My luck gets me judged lol.

mummywiththetummy Thu 27-Feb-20 01:16:28

I think my husband has had the worse luck.

His first girlfriend in college said she had booked a holiday for them both to Spain. He had bought holiday clothes, packed his case, changed his currency and was all ready to go. The night before she called him to say they couldn’t go because the hotel had burnt down. His dad actually called the hotel and asked them and nearly gave the receptionist a heart attack and said “no there’s no fire I’m aware of sir!”. Apparently it was a lie she had been conjuring up for months and turns out she was messaging some bloke from Sweden and planning on going out there to meet him instead. When he finally dumped her she tried winning him back with the classic “but I’m pregnant” line.

His second girlfriend at university said that her mum was going to pay for them both to go on a cruise together. Again he bought holiday clothes, his parents even took her parents out for an expensive meal to say thank you. The mum even told them their cabin number on the cruise and then a few days before told them she hadn’t ever booked it, and didn’t have any money so they weren’t going. As you can imagine that didn’t end well.

It’s safe to say when we met and I told him I’d booked a weekend to Rome together there were some hesitations. His dad even said to me he was going to come to the airport with us to make sure he gets on the soddin’ plane this time. Third time lucky, we did go and have been on three holidays together since. grin

VaggieMight Wed 26-Feb-20 23:58:35

I met a guy years ago and he told be he'd recently returned from travelling. He told me that whilst travelling he came face to face with a venomous snake. The snake went for him and shot venom into his face. Luckily he was wearing sunglasses which protected his eyes.

A few days later having shared the story with my friend we sat down to watch Steve Irwin. In the episode Steve Irwin came face to face with a venomous snake. The snake went for him and shot venom into his face. Luckily he was wearing sunglasses which protected his eyes. It was a hilarious realisation at the time.

Unsurprisingly it turned out he hadn't been travelling at all.

whatdayevenisit Wed 26-Feb-20 23:44:29

I went to school with a girl who claimed she was allergic to the colour blue

avacadooo Wed 26-Feb-20 23:37:59

I had a "friend" pretend she was pregnant for a day. The day was my wedding.😐
She wasn't because one minute she was 6 weeks pregnant and had seen a midwife and next she was almost 14 weeks in the space of two hours. Went round telling all my guests...

To then accuse me of faking my pregnancy when I couldn't get a midwife appointment before 8 weeks. Spoiler alert I wasn't the one faking.
It was the most disgusting lie I've ever heard.

Weirdest lie was in primary school a girl told me her dad was a millionaire in London and bought her all this expensive stuff, he lived in the town over and everyone knew him 🤣

ktp100 Wed 26-Feb-20 23:23:04

I used to work with a mad old bat who insisted she was in a relationship with David Ginola. She was in her 50's & looked like the back end of a bus but would tell us all about how one of the (at the time) hottest men in the World didn't love his model wife, he loved her and all about where he'd taken her at the weekend, even though he was all over the glossy rags in another country. Utter madness.

Gibbus Wed 26-Feb-20 21:41:41

@Tvtvtv do you remember the sitcom 'My Family'? The actor who played the youngest son Michael was pipped to the post to be Harry Potter wink

nikki1391 Wed 26-Feb-20 20:54:28

I had a colleague call up and say she got run over by a car on her way to work. She wasnt in for a few days as something was wrong with her leg. She was spotted the next day after she called and was absolutely fine. When she came back she admitted to a few people that she had lied

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