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What's the most ridiculous of astonishing lie you've ever heard?

373 replies

SingleSidedShoulderShrug · 23/02/2020 19:57

Just genuinely interested! Mine is that a colleague of mine told us her dad had died. So good she go home early? Of course we said he's who wouldn't say yes to that.. shame she didn't tell her dad he was meant to be dead or that she'd left early to grieve him as he picked her up as usual. Came in to ask where she was... we were like umm.. she's grieving you ? 😱

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Marnie76 · 23/02/2020 20:00

OMG what did he sa6 when you told him and what did she say when you confronted her about the lie?

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SingleSidedShoulderShrug · 23/02/2020 20:03

My manager literally said 'She grieving you, she said you'd died' and he said 'oh for fucks sake right thank you' she got dismissed for gross misconduct

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Mumshappy · 23/02/2020 20:06

An ex colleague said she couldnt come in as she was picking her dead uncle up in his coffin from the airport. She couldnt even drive never mind the other obvious flaws in this tale.

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Bubblemonkey · 23/02/2020 20:06

Pah! If you’re gunna fake a death, at least fake your great great uncle Henry rather than your dad?!

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 23/02/2020 20:08

The thread right above this one for me is about someone pretending their colleague has died Shock Grin

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 23/02/2020 20:08

Dad, damnit! Someone’s colleague pretending their dad had died.

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Davincitoad · 23/02/2020 20:09

Had a colleague at school who always lied:

Had food poisoning but posted FB pics of herself in Mexico.

Said she had also lost a baby but posted pics of herself drinking in Vegas two weeks before.

Was off for migraines but did a well known half marathon and was on TV. The list goes in with her. Best one was she told everyone the IT man fancied her. When she left they found a police document with a restraining order on for HER to stop harassing him.


Had a friend who told me she was the manager of a huge hotel in town. She had never worked at a hotel before. Didn’t seem to think it was quite easy to find out this info? She was a cleaner. She also told me she had a hysterectomy yet went on to have a baby a few years later and denied that was what she actually said.

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Bubblemonkey · 23/02/2020 20:11

I was accused of not having major surgery... because someone from work had seen me in Asda about 2wks post op 🤦🏼‍♀️🤔

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Bubblemonkey · 23/02/2020 20:12

Miraculous conception @Davincitoad

She also told me she had a hysterectomy yet went on to have a baby a few years later and denied that was what she actually said.

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HerRoyalFattyness · 23/02/2020 20:15

In high school a girl went around telling people I had aids. And that I'd had it twice.

I don't know who was stupider. Her for saying it or the people that believed it HmmConfused

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Bubblemonkey · 23/02/2020 20:16

Were u cured at any point @HerRoyalFattyness?😂

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Davincitoad · 23/02/2020 20:17

@Bubblemonkey indeed. She honestly tried to just brazen it out!

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HerRoyalFattyness · 23/02/2020 20:19

@Bubblemonkey well I must have been to get it twice. Then I must have been cured again because when I got with the father of my kids, he didn't catch it (she knew him. Told him to stay away from me and told me he was in love with her. We spent 12 years together, only splitting up last month! So yeah, she lied about him loving her too)

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QueSera · 23/02/2020 20:20

A friend/colleague told the place where we worked, in order to get some time off, that his mother had died. Don't think anyone in charge ever found out it was a lie, and we worked there for years!

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Catchuptv · 23/02/2020 20:23

I had a friend at school who said she had gone deaf, I said what' she said I can't hear anything honest - I was like Smile but she kept on and on saying she couldn't hear.

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Sexnotgender · 23/02/2020 20:24

Ex colleague didn’t turn up for a shift and said she’d been in a coma after being hit by a car.
All lies.

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Kirkman · 23/02/2020 20:25

When I was about 18, my friends boyfriend started telling everyone hevhad inherited millions. He kept saying he was just waiting for it to clear.

The rest of us obviously knew it was bollocks, she believed him.

One night we were out in a nightclub in our town that we always went in. He decided he was going to buy it. He got the manager to call the owners and te them he wanted to buy it for 30% more than it was worth. The owners came from home and came in. They talked and verbally agreed a deal.

These nightclub owners were known locally for being dangerous and wouldnt think twice about having someone jumped.

I told my friend that it was all bollocks and when they figured it out, her and him (and maybe us) were in for a world of shit. Told her to dump him, she wouldnt. So I stopped hanging out with her

4 months later her boyfriend was, infact jumped, nearly died and is still broke 15 years later. No millions had cleared, shockingly! She also recieved several death threats.

On a lighter note, my dad worked with someone whose dad died twice in the 15 years they worked together.

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happytoday73 · 23/02/2020 20:27

When at uni I worked at a supermarket each holiday.. a colleague was a serial liar.... She couldn't stand by radiators as it might melt her plastic replacement uterus apparently.
Next time I went she was telling me she was pregnant. She couldn't explain how the plastic uterus would cope as the baby grew...

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Bezalelle · 23/02/2020 20:33

A weird ex of mine told me he was the father of the actress Lenora Crichlow. Most random and stupid lie ever! He was a wrong 'un.

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twoshedsjackson · 23/02/2020 20:36

One of my pupils (Year 3) had time off school to recover from circumcision (for medical rather than religious reasons, apparently - family were stalwart C of E). Fair enough. Then, a few months later, they wanted unauthorised time off during term time, so claimed he would be off recuperating from circumcision.
I think they relied on our lovely headmaster being easily flustered by "embarrassing" ailments and not enquiring too closely.
They didn't reckon on his less inhibited and more forthright form teacher (me) enquiring whether he was having it chopped off by instalments......

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ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 23/02/2020 20:38

a colleague was a serial liar.... She couldn't stand by radiators as it might melt her plastic replacement uterus apparently

GrinGrinGrin

That’s priceless!

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PopcornAndWine · 23/02/2020 20:42

Knew a guy in my early twenties who claimed to have have a huge number of jobs and lived in j forget how many countries... a mutual friend worked out that if he had actually done everything he claimed to have done he would have been at least 45.

Also , same bloke once claimed to have been bitten by a Black Mamba while in Africa... sure mate Hmm

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butwhateverfor · 23/02/2020 20:42

Plastic replacement uterus...good name change, though.

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AlexaAmbidextra · 23/02/2020 20:43

I had a member of staff who wiped her entire family out, bit by bit. Even the dog. Complete with gory details as to how her mother had been decapitated in the car accident that killed her. Needless to say, they were all alive and well and living locally. 😱🤷‍♀️

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Cheeryandmerry · 23/02/2020 20:43

We had a girl at my school who lied about everything. The saddest lies she told were all to do with bereavement....every disaster going she’d had a relative die. Bradford fire, Herald of Free Enterprise, Lockerbie. Very unlucky family.

Nothing stopped her. Even when people openly laughed. I remember covering the sinking of the Mary Rose in history; some wag shouted out “yeah apparently Caroline’s uncle went down in that ship.”

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