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New lodger - shall i ask him to leave?

(239 Posts)
Snorkers Sun 23-Feb-20 09:20:34

In a bit of a quandary!
Me and my husband have converted most of the rooms on the first floor of our house to a kind of annex - so a kitchen / living room, bathroom and bedroom - which we recently let out. I still have an office up there too but we live downstairs.

In our ad we clearly stated we wanted a single person who was mature, respectful, quiet and a non smoker.

Our lodger moved in just over two weeks ago, having split from his partner 6 m ago and told us he had been at his brothers but 'had to leave' due to arguing die to the small space, he seemed nice enough.

We agreed his kids could stay at the weekends so long as the noise was not excessive, and they have been fine. We agreed that I'd run the hoover round and surface clean the bathroom on Fridays (only as I want to keep an eye on things due to previous bad experiences).

However earlier this week we noticed a really rank fishy smell coming from his living room. It went but came back again ten fold on Thursday and could be smelled downstairs too.

On Fri when i hoovered i had to empty a make shift bin (despite us providing a proper one already) which was basically a bag for life sitting on the side with rotting food and fish packaging in. The smell was all over the house at this point. I texted him and told him.

In addition - there was also a load of dirty washing up from the offending fishy meals sitting on the side. In the bathroom the toilet seat and lid was splattered with shit so I was pretty unhappy.

On Sat the smell in the whole house was unbearable and he was out - i went in there and the dirty pans and plates are still there festering with bits of rotting fish on. I texted him again and asked him to sort it and he said he would when he got in later that day.

I threw open the windows in his living room to air it and saw a fag butt on the window sill.

When i questioned him about this he said it wasn't him and I said it didn't get there itself, then he said it was his 'friend' who he had allowed to smoke in our house despite us clearly stating no smoking, also - we had no idea anyone except him and his kids had even been in the house - this was late at night some time.

Would you kick him out?

I feel like there is no trust there and I am worried about if we go away or something what poor decisions will he make then? Who will be in our house and what will they do?

SayNoToCarrots Sun 23-Feb-20 09:22:24

Yes, if not for anything else, for allowing /engaging in smoking in your house.

ilovedjerrymore Sun 23-Feb-20 09:23:30

What written agreement do you have as I think it’s going to come down to that. I agree that on the whole it’s not going to work out as you are only 2 weeks in and already having problems, but asking him to leaving depends on what paperwork has been signed.

TorkTorkBam Sun 23-Feb-20 09:24:16

Yes, get rid quickly.

Snorkers Sun 23-Feb-20 09:24:20

One month's notice - but the first month is a trial

Bagofoldbones Sun 23-Feb-20 09:24:26

I think you’ve got no business going in his room. I can understand your frustration but your being very intrusive I’m to his personal space.

I’d ask him to leave as I think you will drive each other potty!

Sofacat Sun 23-Feb-20 09:24:49

I’ve had lodgers in the past , some good , some awful. I would ask him to leave, he is not following the house rules and from my experience he won’t improve.

Sofacat Sun 23-Feb-20 09:26:18

I think the rules on giving notice to lodgers is slightly different and less stringent to tenants.

SayNoToCarrots Sun 23-Feb-20 09:26:34

@Bagofoldbones they had an agreement that she would go in on a Friday.

TheSquitz Sun 23-Feb-20 09:27:44

Get rid. He's failed the month's trial on several counts.

FlowerArranger Sun 23-Feb-20 09:27:56

What @Sofacat said...
Been there, done that.
It never gets better, but it almost certainly will get worse.

AhNowTed Sun 23-Feb-20 09:29:18

You have no business whatsoever inspecting his toilet and whether he's done his dishes.

TARSCOUT Sun 23-Feb-20 09:30:00

I absolutely would get him to leave. No hesitation.

Ellisandra Sun 23-Feb-20 09:30:20

You even have to ask? shock

FizzyGreenWater Sun 23-Feb-20 09:31:28

You ABSOLUTELY have the right to go in - he's a lodger. His low rent will reflect this, he's essentially a guest in a part of your HOME.

Get rid, absolutely. Never give second chances in a situation like this - you're being shown, 100%, what he is like. This is how he lives in the very first weeks while he knows he's on probation. He will be an absolute nightmare - get him out now!

grudieabbey Sun 23-Feb-20 09:31:31

It’ll get worse. This is him during a trial on best behaviour. What will happen is that you’ll continue to ‘nag’ and some things will be reasonable but not contractually enforceable eg shit in bathroom, plates in the sink. So you’ll need to wait for a BIG issue to get him out on. So get rid now as it’ll get worse and beyond the trial it’ll be harder.

fedup21 Sun 23-Feb-20 09:32:32

I would ask him to go.

CrotchetyQuaver Sun 23-Feb-20 09:32:38

Well the months trial has made it clear that living in the same building with this dirty pig isn't going to work out, so I'd just say that. Give them a clear timeline to be out by.

Member869894 Sun 23-Feb-20 09:33:26

It's not going to work so get him out but you do sound like only Mother Theresa living up there would do

Apolloanddaphne Sun 23-Feb-20 09:33:27

The lodger agreed OP could go into his space, including the bathroom, on a Friday so she isn't violating his privacy at all. I would get rid OP.

justilou1 Sun 23-Feb-20 09:33:27

Yeah - buh bye stinky

Ellisandra Sun 23-Feb-20 09:33:39

@AhNowTed they’ve agreed she’ll clean his bathroom every Friday. That presumably includes his toilet. No way would I keep a lodger who thought it was acceptable to leave shit over a toilet he knew I was going to clean!

I do think the OP is intrusive, and as a lodger I’d be ditching her at the speed she’s ditching me!

But all of the things her intrusion has found are justifiable reasons to fail the trial. I wouldn’t be wringing my hands over the fact I should NOT have been in his bedroom, over the decision to end the trial because I found the cigarette butt.

grudieabbey Sun 23-Feb-20 09:33:45

That should be some things he does will be UNreasonable but not enforceable on your end.

StillCoughingandLaughing Sun 23-Feb-20 09:34:15

The whole point of a trial is that if it isn’t working for either side, you can pull the plug. It clearly isn’t working for you, so why continue?

DimplesMcGee Sun 23-Feb-20 09:34:34

They agreed she’d pop in to hoover and clean the bathroom, so she has every business inspecting the toilet!

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