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Absolutely ridiculous anxiety over husband's new job!!!

(11 Posts)
UndecidedOne Sun 23-Feb-20 02:34:12

I already know IABU, but I need help! Any advice how I can get through these fears?

My husband and I work together so currently we have the same schedule. It is lovely being able to spend lots of time together, however he's applied for a new job and he got it! I am over the moon for him, but being that I suffer from anxiety I am terrified about the change to routine, maybe he'll find someone more interesting than me and what if he changes as a person!

I know this makes so sense, but I've had such a horrible week since he got the job and I don't know how to deal with this. I haven't said anything to him because I don't want to ruin what is an exciting time for him. Please be gentle with me!

BitOfFun Sun 23-Feb-20 02:58:14

How many people work directly with their husbands? Of those that don't, how many do you imagine are shagging a colleague?

Don't take mumsnet as your barometer- it's a skewed sample, because happy people don't post in Relationships.

SummerBaby2020 Sun 23-Feb-20 03:07:33

OP I was in the exact same boat as you about a year and a half ago but now that we don’t work together, it’s actually done us the world of good!

It’s an adjustment and it will take a few weeks but I promise in 6 months time you will be totally settled in your own routine without him being there x

UndecidedOne Sun 23-Feb-20 03:09:29

I'm glad I'm not completely crazy! Doesn't help the women who also work with me keep telling me he's going to turn into a knob! It's more of a senior position he'll be in, so I'm happy he's got it but lots swirling around my head X

SummerBaby2020 Sun 23-Feb-20 03:20:10

It actually sounds like the exact same situation I was in @UndecidedOne my DP got promotion and tbh I think people who say that are jealous tbh!

I know exactly what you mean when my dp got his job in 1 hand I was completely over the moon for him he had worked so hard for it but on the other hand and purely selfish and irrational anxiety I thought all the same things you do now but honestly, things are great and it’s nice to hear about each others day too! Things will be ok it just takes a while to adjust but it will all work out flowers x

GiveHerHellFromUs Sun 23-Feb-20 03:21:19

I am terrified about the change to routine, maybe he'll find someone more interesting than me and what if he changes as a person!

The end of that comment doesn't match the beginning. Is the real issue that you won't know what he's doing/who he's talking to on a daily basis?

Is the woman who keeps telling you he'll become a knob on the same level as you? I'd assume she's just jealous.

Nancydrawn Sun 23-Feb-20 03:44:37

Think about the excellent conversations you can have at dinner! Genuinely, it's lovely to come home and have lots of fresh things to talk about with each other.

1forAll74 Sun 23-Feb-20 03:58:46

For goodness sake, women these days, seem so silly about things like this. you are supposed to be modern women, and not get upset and bothered about things as thus.

UndecidedOne Sun 23-Feb-20 03:59:10

Nancy that does sound lovely actually. Poor husband has been miserable at his job for a long time so I truly am happy for him, I just have these selfish fears. Glad I'm not alone

She's slightly hire up, she does have form for trying to stir people up

Nancydrawn Sun 23-Feb-20 04:08:51

I like to think it makes each night special--you get to sit down and talk about the new things you did. If you're worried that you'll feel left behind/left out, think about emphasizing dinner: a proper, sit-down, no-phones dinner. (Not left to you to plan! Or at least not always.) It doesn't have to be fancy, but it can be a change to catch up and learn about each other's day.

orangejuicer Sun 23-Feb-20 05:55:17

I think it's good you are posting here, do not pass these concerns on to your husband. I'm sure what you are feeling is common OP but you'll be ok.

As others have said it'll be a good opportunity for you to have different things to talk about. He will want the security of home when he starts his new job, just like anyone, so keep showing a supportive front.

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