Did I do the right thing?

[Fladadafada]

Had an odd situation today. I was looking after my friends 2yo and her sil turned up at my house asking to collect her. Friend had not mentioned this at all.

For background I know the sil reasonably well and she nice enough. My friend doesn’t particularly like her though!

I said to her “ I need to just give x a call to let her know” and she went crazy at me! Saying “ how dare you I’m her auntie, do you think I’m going to kidnap her or something”

I stuck to my guns and it was all very awkward. Called my friend who had no idea why sil was there but said it was fine to let her take her daughter, but was not that happy with sil for just showing up. It turns out she had mentioned I was looking after her dd and the sil was annoyed she hadn’t been 1st choice babysitter so had decided to just take her anyway.

I’ve been left feeling like I have done something wrong, and a bit rubbish - I just felt at the time that if someone has left their child with you, you shouldn’t just hand over the child to anyone, even if they are family.

So did I do the right thing, or was I overly cautious?

[SeaToSki]

You did the right thing. Good on you for sticking to your guns

[AnneLovesGilbert]

You did absolutely the right thing. SIL sounds awful.

[Cherrysherbet]

I think you did the right thing. I would have done the same.

[Tumbledryer1]

You did absolutely the right thing in checking - you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors and if that had been my child and I’d arrived to collect and you had given him or her to another relative I would have been furious to not have had a call to check!! And I’d be furious with the relative too!!!

[MummytoCSJH]

You 100% did the right thing.

[Qwerty543]

You absolutely did the right thing.

[Antihop]

You definitely did the right thing

[JustForTheTasteOfIt]

You 100% did the right thing!

SIL sounds batshit, don't worry.

[Mummyshark2019]

Of course you did the right thing. Good on you. Sil sounds a bit unhinged.

[bluebluezoo]

Absolutely did the right thing.

Think about it- if you’d let the child go with sil, and your friend turned up an hour later to pick her up not knowing, what would you have said to her? Better to have had the awkwardness with sil than the utter panic of where the child was with mum!!

[cochineal7]

Bizar possessive behaviour from SIL. You did the right thing.

[SnoozyLou]

It's a family drama you just happened to get caught up in the middle of. You 100% did the right thing.

[tiggerkid]

You did the right thing! Yes, she is her aunt but it doesn't mean she couldn't have gone nuts! You don't know her well enough to guarantee she isn't nuts! Maybe I am being overly dramatic here but given the fact that there are some parents who can lose it to the extent that they kill their own kids, what's to say that being an aunt is a guarantee of child's safety?

Personally, I find it pretty weird that she turned up at your house to collect sister's child without her sister knowing about it. That, in itself, is not exactly normal!

[TorkTorkBam]

If SIL were normal she'd have made no fuss whatsoever.

Imagine you hadn't phoned, just handed over the child, then your friend came to collect and you say you gave the baby to the SIL your friend dislikes and whom your friend did not choose as babysitter. You'd have one friend less right now and you'd feel worse than you do.

SIL is a wanker for making you feel bad about this.

[ToPlanZ]

Definitely the right thing, must have been really uncomfortable for you though.

[recordbox]

I don't think anyone will say you did the wrong thing here OP

[ZzzMarchhare]

Your friend will trust you knowing you will stand up against awkwardness to keep her daughter safe.

[Phoenix76]

If I were the friend who left my child with you I’d be very grateful that you’d checked and would have a lot of trust in you. You totally did the right thing.

[chuck7]

You 100% did the right thing

[Fladadafada]

Thanks everyone, you’re making me feel better. The thing is, I didn’t think she was a risk at all. It just felt really uncomfortable to hand over someone else’s child!!

[Daftodil]

You did the right thing. 100%. I'd rather upset the SIL for 2 minutes while I checked with the mum rather than upsetting the parents potentially forever. And SIL was trying to kidnap the kid! Taking a child away without the parent's knowledge? What did she think she was doing?! SIL is bonkers and handled the situation dreadfully. I would hope anyone in charge of my DC would take the precaution you did and check.

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

You absolutely did the right thing. I might have couched it in 'Oh, DFriend said she would be back here in 20 mins, I'll just give her a buzz so she doesn't have a wasted journey' but I wasn't put on the spot.

SIL sounds a total cow, what a weird thing to do.

[PixieDustt]

You did the right thing and I wish I had a friend like you!

[Mayorquimby2]

Definitely did the right thing

I'd be fucked off with my SIL in that situation and wondering why she thought she was calling the shots

[lostinleaves]

Absolutely the right thing to do, I'd have been irritated if you hadn't checked and furious if you hadn't checked and she wasn't supposed to be collecting her.