Advanced search

AIBU to get annoyed at drivers who let me out of side streets or in traffic?

(191 Posts)
Manchestermanchester Sat 22-Feb-20 10:43:37

I turn right into work every day. There is a turning lane and there are many business where I work. The traffic coming towards me isn’t bad as there is a set of traffic lights that keeps the traffic light.

However I’m always getting flashed to turn right when I don’t see the point - I can wait an extra few seconds for cars to pass.

This annoys me because I’ve already got it in my mind to turn right when the road is clear (it’s never more than a few cars). It’s not just a simple case of turning right as soon as I get flashed - I have to look to see there are no cyclists (we have plenty), that there are no pedestrians are crossing the road and check again to make sure the road is also clear and the driver has travelled at speed to me and will crash into me. Waiting for a few cars to pass, which takes a few seconds seems the preferable way.

There is also the insurance issue. If I turned and I crashed into the other car, or indeed a car that stopped in front of the car letting me out, I’m at fault. Furthermore I might get rear ended. Plus I don’t flash people a thank you for letting me through. It’s too easy to mistake that for “come over through” plus I’ve got to have both hands on the steering wheel.

No doubt I’ll get a bunch of people saying I’m rude or whatever, are you going to pay for my insurance claim?

Potentialmadcatlady Sat 22-Feb-20 10:50:53

I agree with you... it is nice to be let out but I will only go if I feel it is safe because bottom line if there is an accident I need to know I drove correctly. Yesterday a man wanted to let me out and it meant me coming across other traffic- he was really insistent and actually mouthed at me to ‘hurry the hell up’ when I knew it wasn’t safe. I ignored him then he got cross and started flapping his hands at me but my child’s safety is more important than a stranger telling me how to drive.

Chemenger Sat 22-Feb-20 10:52:40

I agree. I turn right out of work (or I did before I started taking the bus). The way the traffic lights on either end of the road I’m turning on to means there is a very predictable long gap which makes coming out very easy. Often, though, someone will stop and frantically flash their lights for me to come out, holding up a queue of traffic behind them to do so. Usually Murphy’s law means that I will be looking in the opposite direction when this happens, happily waiting for the gap I know will appear in the next few seconds. I wish people would just drive along the road and let me sort myself out. People stop to let me out when there is one car behind them followed by a long gap, they have no traffic awareness. They’re being considerate to me, but not to the people behind them.

CalamityJune Sat 22-Feb-20 10:53:58

I'm so puzzled by this. They're just trying to be considerate.

You are in charge of your own car- why would you proceed if the way wasn't clear regardless of if they have flashed you?

If they've left you a gap and indicated that they're letting you pass, why would they then drive into you?

I'm not sure why you think you would get rear ended in this scenario.

I'm not sure why flashing your palm at another driver is so hard. Do you never scratch your nose,

FrogsFrogs Sat 22-Feb-20 10:55:32


They are being generous and thoughtful.

Of course if you steam out without checking anything that goes wrong is your fault.

Yours is not the only right turn in the world, round here if people didn't let you out, no one would ever be able to go!

TARSCOUT Sat 22-Feb-20 10:56:14

Me too! I thought I was the only one. It disrupts the flow of traffic behind then as well. I don't go, I just sit where I am.

FrogsFrogs Sat 22-Feb-20 10:56:57

I think this is about lack of confidence with driving

Seriously people want to stop others ever letting people out what on earth.

MrsTumbletap Sat 22-Feb-20 11:00:44

Completely agree, it's so annoying when I'm behind the car letting someone out. I think "look behind us idiot!" There is a massive qap they could have gone then, why are you letting them out?

Some drivers have no awareness and don't look in their mirrors enough to take in all the traffic they only see the immediate issue. Shit drivers really.

My husband was also flashed to be let out, he came out halfway as he then has to wait for the other side, and a motorbike overtook all the traffic and crashed in to his bumper, my husband was at fault, even though he was stationary and the motorbike drove past all the traffic.

Ignore people flashing you and wait for a gap if you can and you know it's safer.

Chemenger Sat 22-Feb-20 11:02:15

Obviously if otherwise people can’t get in and out of a junction it’s appropriate to stop and let them move, but why hold up all the traffic behind to save someone a few seconds? I’ve had people stop to let me out when there is a huge gap right behind them, so all they have achieved is slowing their own journey and speeding mine up by a couple of seconds.

Moltenpink Sat 22-Feb-20 11:06:58

Absolutely agree, it’s the same being a pedestrian, getting waved across roads all the time when the driver hasn’t noticed the other lane would actually kill me, and it would take 5 seconds for them to piss off out of my way so I could cross on a clear road. Also mega frustrating when trying to teach small children to cross safely, explaining the road should be clear, when cars then stop and wave us across.

I’m sure I’d appreciate it more if I lived somewhere with busy, dangerous roads, but around here it only takes a few seconds for a clear & safe gap.

OlaEliza Sat 22-Feb-20 11:07:03

I think you need more lessons op.

Bringmewineandcake Sat 22-Feb-20 11:11:49

I don't like it either! You're right on the insurance front, and quite often the other vehicle hasn't even checked behind them and seen a perfectly clear road that I can safely turn into as soon as they get out of the way.
Its one thing to let you out in crawling traffic, but I hate being put under pressure to turn before I'm ready.

WitchQueenofDarkness Sat 22-Feb-20 11:18:48

Could have posted this myself yesterday. Stream of 5 or 6 cars with a clear road behind them. I'm waiting to go straight across. Last car stops and waves me over in front of them? Why? 5 seconds later I'd be going anyway.

I know they mean well but I've already made my assessment and I know when I'm safe and able to go. Having someone randomly stop and wave me out is no help at all. I have to redo all my assessments and actually takes longer.

Just follow the highway code and we all know where we stand.

hidinginthenightgarden Sat 22-Feb-20 11:20:52

I always check the traffic behind when I flash to let someone out. If there is a big queue I let them out. Some junctions are a nightmare and you can be sat ages unless someone lets you out.

zebrapig Sat 22-Feb-20 11:22:50

I'm always cautious when people flash me out after an incident that happened one time when I was working in Leicester. I was at a junction waiting to turn right into a bigger road. Only one car coming from the left, nothing from the right so was going to wait for it to pass and then pull out. It slowed and flashed me out, odd as there was no other traffic. It flashed me three more times, I refused to move and eventually the guy made gestures at me like I was ungrateful and drove off. I'm sure if I'd have pulled out he'd have driven into me for an insurance scam. x

NurseButtercup Sat 22-Feb-20 11:25:45


You are complaining about an act of kindness and other people are joining in to complain.

And yes I do know my highway code.

And yes on a day when I'm not in a hurry I do this for other drivers.

JKScot4 Sat 22-Feb-20 11:27:44

It’s not considerate or generous, these drivers are unnecessarily impeding the flow of traffic and infuriating those behind them.

anotherlittlechicken Sat 22-Feb-20 11:28:15

@Manchestermanchester You sound like hard work.

IrmaFayLear Sat 22-Feb-20 11:28:46


When appropriate I let out other drivers. I hope people would do the same for me. If it's not safe, you don't go.

Didn't realise there was this mealy-mouthed crew moaning that another driver is trying to be courteous.

daisychain01 Sat 22-Feb-20 11:29:58

You shouldn't flash people! It can unintentionally make a new or unconfident driver make a decision based on your assessment of the road conditions when as several posters have rightly said it's important for the driver themselves to be in control and make their own decisions.

It's an interesting thread @Manchestermanchester because you raise a good point that people aren't that good at interpreting road conditions and checking their rear view mirror. Youd like me because I do drive ahead if I check my mirror and see it's clear behind. It saves a world of complexity smile

meredithgrey1 Sat 22-Feb-20 11:30:40

I know what you mean and like a PP I find it annoying as a pedestrian. I've had drivers gesticulating at me, flashing, mouthing for me to hurry up when they're letting me cross, completely oblivious to the fact that the other lane of traffic is still busy and I'm not going to stand in the middle of the road with my pram! I appreciate they're trying to be kind but sometimes it's not actually helpful.

Manchestermanchester Sat 22-Feb-20 11:31:17

For all of those that think it’s being considerate
1) if the driver who gets flashed pulls out, they are responsible for hitting that car. £££

Following the Highway Code and correct driving principles.

Alsohuman Sat 22-Feb-20 11:31:20

Ffs, we can’t even try to be nice to one another now. Find something that matters to get your knickers in a twist about.

Manchestermanchester Sat 22-Feb-20 11:32:13

@meredithgrey1 I lived overseas and we would have to give away to pedestrians crossing the road. Much safer and everyone followed that law so everyone knew where they stood! A lot safer for everyone.

Manchestermanchester Sat 22-Feb-20 11:32:52

@alsohuman it’s not being nice though is it. It’s bad driving, it’s unsafe, it’s against the highway rules.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »