To ask you to help me sort my house out?

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

I have PTSD and severe depression after a current court process (AS me to read more). Now my psychiatrist have tweaked my meds and I feel like we've hit a golden point! He brought my meds down from 335 venlafaxine with the idea to wean down entirely and off onto another drug with an anti psychotic, as last week when i saw him I was so depressed and low I couldn't stop crying and I felt actively suicidal. I'm also on mirtazapine 15mg a night

However during the wean down I've felt so amazing, at my appointment today he agreed I looked a 100 times better, I'm not crying anymore, I'm not staring catatonic into space for ages, I'm not suicidal, I'm able to write down how I feel, write letters to the person who attacked me and burn them in the fireplace to help me move on and deal with it so agreed to keep me on the dosage I'm on now as sometimes venlafaxine can make you too stimulated at higher doseages.

Anyway thats the background.

I'm living away from my husband currently as my MH issues were so hard for him to deal with. But I'm thinking of moving back soonish, but when I was really really unwell the house was a total shit tip, and I know it was, it was full of dog hair, dog toys everywhere, dishes all over the place, surfaces not cleaned, floors not mopped, bathroom not cleaned, clothes dumped everywhere..

How do I get into a routine now I feel better so I never let the house get that bad? Do I tackle it one room at a time? My husband has cleaned the kitchen and living room really well whilst I've been living at my parents, but the basement where our washing machine and tumble dryer live is covered in washing.

The spare room with a bed is covered in clothes, the spare room without a bed is full of boxes and clothes because we're moving house soon, and our room is just full of dirty washing and plates and mugs and stuff.

If I'm totally honest I don't where to start. It feels so overwhelming and huge I don't know what to do. And then when we move I don't want to get myself in this mess again. It'll be months before I'm mentally ready for work so I will be at home and I can sort it out but I don't know where to start!

Please help me!!

[Monty27]

Get all the clothes down by the washing machine. Go and put clean bedding on tidy the floors and vaccum. One job at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself. Was stuff that needswashed fold it when dry in room order.
At your own pace OP. Love your home again

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

@Monty27 thank you. I'm going to write a few lists I think :)

[Monty27]

That's a start. Be sure not to overwhelm yourself otherwise you'll stop.
Imagine a dark colour palette. Each task you complete takes you through to a lighter shade and the sun will shine for you and you'll have achieved your wellness and you'll feel proud of yourself.
I seriously hope you get through it. Be positive and strong easier said than done I know
Move to the next stage.
I'm routing for you

[BiblioX]

Ahh lovely, I feel for you. I have cPTSD and am in a bad patch at minute and house getting to me, and we are moving! Anyway...one room at a time. Set half an hour timer and get completely stuck in, then stop and have a break/cuppa/rest etc. Also, start a couple of new routines...I’ve made a promise to myself that I will not have the sink messy at bedtime however bad I feel. I hate coming down to mess in kitchen but have been so so so weak with tiredness from flashbacks and hallucinations. Also, get your husband stuck in, its his house too!!!

[Monty27]

When I wasn't well I'd be overwhelmed and curled up on the sofa in front of the television watching rubbish.
I'd set myself a time limit when the adverts came on and ran around for a few minutes to see how much I could actually do in such a short time. (If only clean the sink in the bathroom, then next time put a wash on and so it would go on over the course of a whole evening).
That's an example.
Another lesson I learned is if someone decided to call in say in an hour's time I would run around like a mad thing and achieved more in that short time than I would have in a week at times
Are you lonely OP and are you happy about moving?

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

@Monty27 I am happy about moving, I just hope I can get there! I hope we can work through our issues and move in together again. It's hard!

[Monty27]

I don't want to pry. A new start sounds good

[hiredandsqueak]

I'd say that if you have clothes all over the house and loads needing to be washed then you have too many clothes so I'd be ruthless and decide what you want to keep and throw out the rest without washing them. It's so much more difficult to stay on top of stuff when you have a lot of stuff I think.
Try not to set too big goals so you don't become overwhelmed and even five minutes of sorting done when you feel like it will make an impression.
Glad to hear you are feeling better just now

[Throughabushbackwards]

I'd say either tackle one room at a time, or complete one task across the whole house.

So, you're either going to clean and completely tidy the spare room today, or, you are going to collect and put away everything from the floors and hoover/mop. Doing one task is probably more efficient overall, but entirely completing a room each day might be more satisfying as you can clearly see the progress.

[k1233]

Just do one room at a time. Give yourself a week to do it. A couple of hours a day (that will be more than enough) then do something else.

Once you're on top of it, then everything has a place. Put it back in it's place. For laundry, i hang according to where it gets put away. Fold as taking off the line then 2 seconds to grab each pile and put in it's place inside.

I'm not the best at cleaning, but it takes two hours of a weekend to do my whole place - that's as long as it takes to do two loads of washing. Put a load on, clean. Do a load the second day, clean.

[Coldhandscoldheart]

If you’re looking for a ‘method’ to follow or look at I really rate unfuck your habitat - it is totally geared up for being a bit mentally fragile and achieving what you can. She’s on Twitter, and there’s a website.
The two things are the twenty tens (twenty minutes work followed by ten rest) but they can be five tens, ten twenties, whatever. Also making tasks finished - so wash dry, put away. And resets - so you make a good space and then that can be ‘reset’ quite quickly and is a good place to be.

And also based around the premise that you deserve a nice place to exist in :)

[Whyhaveidonethis]

howdoesshe.com/how-to-teach-your-child-to-clean-any-bedroom-in-ten-minutes-without-using-a-blowtorch/

This is a good starting point

On the other hand, personally, I have had a time(also MH problems) where all the clothes on the house were dirty and everywhere and had been for ages.... I literally just bagged them up and binned them. It was such a relief. I felt like a weight had lifted and I never ever really missed a single item.

Good luck @SingleSidedShoulderShrug you can do this.

[Whyhaveidonethis]

Also I have a system that if a job is going to take 30 seconds or less, I do it immediately. So if I'm going out the back door and there are a pair of shoes that need to be on the shoe rack by the front door, I'll take then to the right place immediately. It saves so much time later on.

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I hear you ! I had half term this week but after a very traumatic split and starting AD my house is also a state . I had so many plans but all I managed was a few washes and one measly hoover

Write small and manageable lists xx

[Stronger76]

I hear you too op.

I've spent most of this week getting on top of the washing mountain. The state of my house is a direct representation of my MH too.

Make a huge pile of dirty washing. Sort into darks, lights, brights, boils etc then shove into carrier bags and tie the handles. Then you can go on a massive wash/dry mission or one bag a day.

I echo what pp said about having too many clothes. Before you look at tackling the ironing is there any that you can get rid of? Torn, faded, too big/small/pain to iron that you'd be happy to chuck in the clothes recycling bin in the supermarket carpark? Then chunk the ironing - 10 items then 5 mins rest, 10 items then cup of tea, 10 items then put a load of washing on, 10 items then 5 mins rest. Little and often.

I'll have a look at the unfuck your habitat site too, thanks pp

[BlackeyedSusan]

One job at a time. Focus on what you have done. If it helps, take photos of the washing you have done or the washing up so you can see progress. When things are really messy, you can make progress but it is still messy. Having evidence of what you have done can help.

[elc19]

Right a list for every room/area in the house. Little and often. I'm so glad you're in a better place now

[Theoscargoesto]

My recent method was to borrow a friend who is organised for a day. She loved organising me, she’s a proper Marie Kwondo type. So she had a good day and, hard as it was, I have storage space free and a better place to start as I hope to go on.

[AJPTaylor]

If you can face it, cut down on the clothes you own. This has made a critical difference for me. If you have teens, fine then 50p for every clean item found in the laundry basket.

[redwoodmazza]

Our house seems a mess. Downstairs is OK - BUT upstairs a NIGHTMARE!!!

I have started to sort some of it out. As PP said, just do a bit at a time.

Today my job is sorting shelving brackets in the garage. Sounds simple but you ought to see how many we have and where DH has put them . He's not the most sensible person. before I know what I can donate to Freegle, I need to know exactly what we have!

Yesterday I did the tools and toolbox - it's a huge metal thing on wheels. We also have my late father's stuff and he always did DIY jobs so masses to go through. My aim is to be able to put my car back in the garage...

Little by little.

[Notanotherflightdelay]

Dont do it.

Ask your parents to go and do it all before you move in or get a professional in. Your DH needs to work with whoever does it.

I am a parent and would do that for my child.

[MrsMoastyToasty]

If you can afford it, get staff- even if it's for a one off ironing session or deep clean. Meanwhile you do the decluttering.

[Laserbird16]

I'd second unfuck your habitat recommended upthread by @Coldhandscoldheart.

You feel overwhelmed so eat the elephant bit by bit or 20/10 by 20/10. Personally I also sometimes do a 20/10 by category. For example, just tackle clothes until you've made some decent headway, then tackle those dirty crockery, or go between the two.

Once you feel a bit more on top of things then Fly Lady I'd good to keep up maintenance.

I'd also really consider do you need all the stuff you have? Less stuff means less to clean and organise.

Good luck! You've got this!

[Polly111]

The organised mum method is a good one to follow as it gives you a list of jobs to do every day and you just set a timer and get as much done as possible in 30 mins.

[breatheinskipthegym]

I’d make your bedroom a priority, preferably by someone else before you go home, as others have said. How nice to have a peaceful sanctuary, and somewhere to relax as carefree-ly as possible after spending time working on the rest of the house.

Also, as PP said, cut down on your clothes and clear out those you don’t need/want etc without washing. Don’t give yourself more work than you really need.

Take care OP, wishing you a smooth recovery.