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To be annoyed when asked to confirm my details

(133 Posts)
exponential Fri 21-Feb-20 12:20:38

I get annoyed when companies ask me to confirm my name and address on the phone when they mean will you tell me your name and address.

Yesterday when asked I said OK you tell me my address and I will confirm if you have it right. They were non-plussed.

It seems to me “to confirm” means to ratify or repeat an assertion ( Chambers dictionary)-surely they should tell me not me tell them.
AIBU-or just pedantic?

BillywilliamV Fri 21-Feb-20 12:23:20

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fluffballs Fri 21-Feb-20 12:25:57

What of it's not you who picks up the phone and the company gives out your name, email etc.
You'd be on here complaining about that for sure hmm

Throckmorton Fri 21-Feb-20 12:27:15

If a company calls me then no way do I give them any details - that is how scammers get info!

DGRossetti Fri 21-Feb-20 12:27:18

If they call me (unless it has been prearranged) then they can whistle. I'll hang up and call them.

Can be a fun game at times grin.

RositaEspinosa Fri 21-Feb-20 12:28:51

Urm it’s called a security check. So you’d be happier with a company giving out your name and address to someone on the phone who may well not be you!

Pardonwhat Fri 21-Feb-20 12:28:52

I also get really perplexed to receive a call from a company and then have to prove it’s me.
You rang me - who the hell are you!? confused

Pardonwhat Fri 21-Feb-20 12:29:57


An address given to a stranger? How awful.
It’s not like most people are in the directory is it? grin

DGRossetti Fri 21-Feb-20 12:30:21

Urm it’s called a security check. So you’d be happier with a company giving out your name and address to someone on the phone who may well not be you!

If they call me, then I am security checking them. Period. End of. Move on.

Oldfail Fri 21-Feb-20 12:32:22

It's to protect you from fraudsters...

If I was a fraudster trying to do an over the phone bank transfer and the operator asked if they had my name and address correct it's not exactly fail safe??

Also the operators are trained to hear tone of voice and how someone reacts to a question as a fraudster may hesitate differently or just go silent when trying to remember the details

pigsDOfly Fri 21-Feb-20 12:32:32

I assume they've got your address in front of them OP and they're asking you to confirm that what they are reading in actually your correct address.

TBH, when a great many of the conversations I have on the phone in these sort of cirmstances, involve the caller using words like myself/yourself, I/me and so on incorrectly, I can't really get irritated about them asking me to 'confirm' my address.

TheMemoryLingers Fri 21-Feb-20 12:35:26

The safest thing to do is to take the caller's name and phone the company back on a number you've checked independently. If they're genuine they will understand. Also make sure they haven't left the line open - use a different phone or make another call to someone you know before calling back.

pigsDOfly Fri 21-Feb-20 12:36:02

Ah, I assumed the OP meant when she calls the company.

Yes, not sure I'd want to be giving out details to someone who rang me claiming to be, for instance, my bank, but that's not what the OP is complaining about.

Beetle76 Fri 21-Feb-20 12:41:24

YANBU. Particularly if they call me. And even more so when I object and they then “faux patiently” tell me that this is to protect me. Too many vulnerable people cannot tell the difference between a genuine call and a scam (the scammers are getting good) and supposedly “trustworthy” companies are muddying the water by effectively sending out the message yes, we know you get told that you shouldn’t share your personal details with anyone you don’t know over the phone, but we don’t mean this time. It’s ok. It’s us. And of course you must trust us.

TheDropBear Fri 21-Feb-20 12:44:37

I work in a call centre (not cold calling) and understand why people don't feel comfortable giving out their details but unfortunately we're not allowed to give out any information until the person has passed data protection.

There's no need to hang up or be rude to the person, just ask for them to send an email or letter to the details they have on file and then email/call them back once you're happy it's definitely the company.

annamie Fri 21-Feb-20 12:45:27

Confirm is correct in this context because you’re not just ‘telling them’ your address, you’re confirming your identity.

YABU and wrong.

annamie Fri 21-Feb-20 12:48:46

But YANBU to be annoyed at people on this thread who haven’t read your post properly.

OP hasn’t said she’s uncomfortable giving out her details, people.

Sparklesocks Fri 21-Feb-20 12:53:32

Yeah I think you’re being a pedant I’m afraid.
Normally they have your address up on their screen so they’re asking you to confirm it so they know it’s you. Or if they don’t have your details up, it’s just a bit more formal than saying ‘what’s your address?’.
Also insisting they give you the address so you can confirm to prove a point is a bit wanky, they’re just doing their job.

TheMemoryLingers Fri 21-Feb-20 12:53:47

OP hasn’t said she’s uncomfortable giving out her details, people.

But she, and others, should be unless they can be certain the caller is genuine.

LtJudyHopps Fri 21-Feb-20 12:54:05

YABU and grumpy. They are asking you to confirm the details they have in front of them. It’s called data protection.

Stronger76 Fri 21-Feb-20 12:59:12

I never give my details to anyone making an unsolicited call to me. Ever.

If it's important I'll ask them to write to me at home or via email - if I need to speak to them I'll be ringing them back, and more than happy to confirm my personal details.

Would you give your details to a stranger on the street if they walked up and asked you? Nope - they could be anyone. Same applies to phonecalls from a stranger, even if they say they're calling from your bank/Internet provider etc

iusedtobecool Fri 21-Feb-20 13:00:04

Unfortunately it’s part of the role of a call centre worker when outbound calling, security checks to confirm who you are speaking to and their address. I didn’t like asking, and felt very uncomfortable too, but if you were being monitored, you’d be pulled up about it and marked down for it. I no longer work in that type of role, and I certainly don’t miss it.

Floribundance Fri 21-Feb-20 13:01:47

I used to have a landline, mainly for internet access. The only people who used it were MIL and scammers. Now I only use my mobile. My bank doesn’t phone me, my utilities providers don’t phone me, my phone company doesn’t phone me! The odds are that anyone who phones asking for my details is a scammer!

helberg Fri 21-Feb-20 13:04:32

I wouldn't give any details out to anyone phoning me. They could be a scammer. You have to be careful.

But if you have phoned a company it is standard procedure for them to ask this kind of thing to check that you are not posing as someone else.

What you really asked was whether YABU to be annoyed at the use of the term "confirm" instead of "tell". Yes, YABU. It's such a tiny thing to get pedantic about. Ridiculous really.
In fact, "confirm" is correct in this case as they have the address in front of them and a checking if you give the correct. You are not telling them so they can write it down.

cologne4711 Fri 21-Feb-20 13:04:47

Urm it’s called a security check. So you’d be happier with a company giving out your name and address to someone on the phone who may well not be you

If a company calls me, it should be me doing the security check!

If they don't trust that they've got the right person, then they shouldn't call. I have refused to give details over the phone and in the end they've said they'll write to me instead. Fair enough.

On another occasion we compromised on them giving me the first part of the postcode and I gave them the rest.

But I will not cooperate with security checks on incoming calls. I once had a call about a meter reading. They called me to ask me to do one, but insisted I went through a security check. I said a meter reading wasn't personal data but they wouldn't; back down, so I out the phone down.

They are asking you to confirm the details they have in front of them. It’s called data protection It is not. If these companies think it is, they all need to go and do some data protection training.

If you call me on the number I have given you, that you have on your systems, then you assume that number is correct until you are informed that it isn't. One of the principles of data protection is keeping information up to date, but that does not involve making someone do a security check when you have called them.

Obviously the situation is different if you call into an organisation although even then they should use common sense. Not all queries require the call centre operative to access your account.

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