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To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?

(438 Posts)
Refreshed Fri 21-Feb-20 12:11:51

The bride to be has asked me via text today if she can ask a favour (complete with that annoying monkey emoji with its hands covering its face)

She asked if I would mind just putting my DS in something basic she picks out for him, as she knows how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him and doesn't want him mistaken for the wedding party.

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

Would I be unreasonable not to go now? It's in March.

She asked me to style her flower girls and paige boys. She know full well I wouldn't dress my own child in the same as them.

Apolloanddaphne Fri 21-Feb-20 12:13:58

She is probably just having a pre wedding brain fart/stress moment. Just say to her you can let her see what you are going to put him in and reassure her he won't be dressed like the wedding party.

nokidshere Fri 21-Feb-20 12:14:12

Tell her that if she isn't confident in you dressing your son appropriately then you clearly aren't the best person to dress everyone else.

Personally I would just reply 'don't be ridiculous'

Pukkatea Fri 21-Feb-20 12:15:42

Your friend is BU just because of

that annoying monkey emoji with its hands

Which boils my blood!

It does seem very strange and I hate that faux nice unreasonable request or insult dressed up as a fake compliment - 'oh but you just dress him SO WELL' ugh ugh ugh. Patronising and passive aggressive.

It sounds like you are quite close so you probably WBU to just not go. I'd reply saying don't be silly, I know what the bridal party are wearing and wouldn't be putting him in something similar, and leave it at that.

Member984815 Fri 21-Feb-20 12:16:40

I agree , someone has probably said it to her and now she's stressed about it , I would text don't be ridiculous

ChicCroissant Fri 21-Feb-20 12:17:20

I don't think YABU to be offended by the text, but it does seem a little over the top not to attend at all because of it. I would ignore the text for the moment and see what happens.

Merryoldgoat Fri 21-Feb-20 12:17:51

I wouldn’t really be able to let that go. I reply and ask ‘sorry - are you implying I’d try to steal your thunder by dressing my son inappropriately some how?’ And see what she said.

reginafelangee Fri 21-Feb-20 12:18:57

Pick up the phone and talk to her.

If you can't understand her text messages - then I don't see how a bunch of internet strangers who have never met her can possibly decipher them for you.

And YABU for considering boycotting a wedding because you dont understand a text message.

GreenTulips Fri 21-Feb-20 12:19:00

Put him in a bridesmaid dress or a crocodile costume.

user1493413286 Fri 21-Feb-20 12:19:46

Weddings make even the most sane people quite self absorbed and crazy so I’d give her a bit of a free pass this time and just say you’d never put him in something the same

SoupDragon Fri 21-Feb-20 12:19:52

Do you have form for dressing your son in a suit with waistcoat and bow tie for weddings?

TheAugusta Fri 21-Feb-20 12:20:01

Think I would reply with something like 'excuse me?' to try to nudge her into explaining more fully or apologising. Hopefully just a wedding stress moment.

Mischance Fri 21-Feb-20 12:20:22

Well - she is being very silly I think.

But maybe get back to her and just say "Please be assured I will make sure that he does not look anything like the wedding party." - as if it matters if he did!!

Monty27 Fri 21-Feb-20 12:22:09

As @18reginafelangee says, pick up the phone and simply ask her what exactly she means shock

HomeMadeMadness Fri 21-Feb-20 12:23:10

I doubt she thinks you'll put him in something which matches the bridal party kids but she might worry he'll wear something too smart which could be mistaken for him being a paige boy. If he was in a suit with waistcoat and bow tie he would look like the bridal party even if the colour scheme wasn't the same.

It's a bit OTT of her but not attending would be an OTT reaction on your part.

Lostkeyagain Fri 21-Feb-20 12:23:18

She is going to think back to that message in a few years time and think WTF! She is clearly getting carried away and not thinking rationally.

Just give her a call and tell her what your DS will be wearing to set her mind at rest. If she’s normally a good friend and a nice person then let it pass.

user1471449295 Fri 21-Feb-20 12:25:40

I was fully expecting to read a bride bashing thread and vote YABU, but no, actually, she is BU and patronising. She doesn’t get to choose your sons clothes. I’m assuming you know what the bridal party are wearing, since you are dressing them, and that you wouldn’t dress your son the same.
Its one of the most bizarre bridal demands I’ve heard actually.
I would still go to the wedding, but put your dc in clothes you choose

Pardonwhat Fri 21-Feb-20 12:26:20

I’d just text back “Eh?”
And let her do the talking on this one.

RhymingRabbit3 Fri 21-Feb-20 12:26:35

Yes you would be unreasonable not to go for such a flimsy reason, especially as the wedding is only in a few weeks. Have a bit of a sense of humour. Just text her back "obviously I wont be dressing him the same as the page boys, it sounds like you need a break for wedding planning!" Or something

Pardonwhat Fri 21-Feb-20 12:27:22

And if I understand it right - I also think she’s being a bit of a dick asking you to get involved with clothing for the bridal party but not making you a part of it.

Cherrysoup Fri 21-Feb-20 12:28:17

Do you have form for dressing him up? I can’t think why she would send such a bonkers message otherwise.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit Fri 21-Feb-20 12:28:45

I'd say something along the lines of @Merryoldgoat

You might employ MN's finest

Did you mean to be so rude? I will be dressing my son appropriately, and not in the same style as the bridal party. I will blame this on nerves and overthinking but please don't bring this up again

SpeedofaSloth Fri 21-Feb-20 12:28:52

I don't know. Have you dressed your DS in a very formal/ flamboyant way at other events?

SinkGirl Fri 21-Feb-20 12:29:00

She knows you know what the others are wearing. So that’s not the issue.

I suspect the issue is that she thinks you dress your son in a way she doesn’t want him to be dressed (wacky / flamboyant / colourful, whatever). She’s carefully concocted an excuse that doesn’t hold up to scrutiny.

saraclara Fri 21-Feb-20 12:29:37

"Of course I won't dress him so he looks like the wedding party! C'mon now. Rein in the bridezilla stuff! This isn't you"

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