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Family Inheritance troubles

(85 Posts)
Starfish75 Fri 21-Feb-20 00:23:09

I really need some advice here as this is totally stressing me out. Basically, I purchased a house with my dad, 50/50. I lived in it & paid all bills as one would expect as well as my half of the mortgage. My dad also paid his half of the mortgage but not any bills as he lived elsewhere. Anyway, I have since moved out of that house, moved in my hubby and rented that out.

In recent discussion with my brother, he was talking about my dad’s houses (he has a few) and that dad needs to sort out a will. Anyway, towards the end of the call he casually drops in “what are you going to do with your half of the house?” And went on to tell me what he’d do with his half. He was talking about the house I brought with my dad!! I was so shocked at this & made excuses to leave the call.

I would never in my wildest dreams think my dad would leave his half of our house to him! He may be the only son but that seems totally batty to me! Not to mention so unfair.

Since then I have asked my dad about it and he says he has no plans with his half at the moment & doesn’t want to make any decisions. I offered to buy him out as I really don’t want to be sharing that house with my brother. All he could go on about was that he’d invest his half in another property. Yet I have no plans to sell it! And saw that house as my future for retirement or to help find my children.

I can’t force my fathers hand on this but just so stressed and cross at my brother to even think it’s ok for him to have my house!

I’m sorry this is so long but what do people think of this situation? does anyone have any experience on this or advice on what I should do?

I’m so worried. I try to put it out of my mind but it seems to be on repeat in my head. I’ve never spoken to my brother about it since.

Starfish75 Fri 21-Feb-20 00:24:47

Fund my children, not find them 😌

NoSquirrels Fri 21-Feb-20 00:27:18

I offered to buy him out as I really don’t want to be sharing that house with my brother. All he could go on about was that he’d invest his half in another property. Yet I have no plans to sell it!

If you ‘bought your dad out’ i.e. raised the funds to buy the 50% your dad owns, then why wouldn’t he reinvest it in property? Doesn’t mean you need to sell?

I think buying your dad out would be far and away the best thing. Then whatever your dad owns he can divide 50-50 in his will, but you’ll own the house outright.

Butterymuffin Fri 21-Feb-20 00:28:19

Can you tell him you want to sell up and then invest your half of the proceeds in another house? That's the best way I can think of to push it forward. Sorry to say it sounds like your dad has decided he wants to leave his half to your brother but doesn't want to front up to telling you that. Were you hoping he would leave the rest to you? What are his plans about who will inherit the other houses?

Radyward Fri 21-Feb-20 00:30:19

Your half is your half. Umless its will ed to you specifically. The other half is divided between you and your siblings. It is not absolutely yours on your Fathers death whether you paid bills or not. Your dad paid half the mortgage. You cant assume all his half is "yours" or rightfully yours iykwim !
The rest is owned

Moomin12345 Fri 21-Feb-20 00:32:53

Ah, having children is fab. They will worry /argue about their inheritance before the parents even shuffle off this mortal coil

Starfish75 Fri 21-Feb-20 00:36:17

With his other houses, he has in fact now signed one to my brother, in which my brother & family live in. This was quite recent. I’ve not asked about it & my parents haven’t mentioned it to me.
Yes to be completely honest, I would have expected my dad to leave his half to me as I invested half. Whereas my brother did not pay a penny towards the house he lives in & will just inherit.

HeddaGarbled Fri 21-Feb-20 00:37:38

Sorry, but only half the house is yours at the moment.

What the situation will be when your dad dies depends on whether he’s married, whether he makes a will, how many siblings you have.

If your dad won’t make a will, I would push towards selling up or buying him out.

Starfish75 Fri 21-Feb-20 00:39:17

I know moomin12345! I’m not usually like this but to me this is the one thing that’s (half) mine and my investment. I don’t want it going down the pan or losing it in the future because it gets split between siblings! Id rather my parents share anything they want to leave equally to their kids or not at all. It feels unjust to me & I worry my dad is being culturally biased, in that leaving everything to the son!

NotALurker2 Fri 21-Feb-20 00:46:09

For those saying that only half the house belongs to OP at the moment -- of course it does, but if her father is going to leave his half of the house to ONE of his children, it makes sense that it should be the OP he leaves it to. That way she owns the entire house.

But it sounds like your brother was making a huge assumption that your father would leave him his half of your house, OP, since your father said he had no plans at the moment. If I were you, I would tell him what your brother said and ask him point blank to leave you his half, and take that into consideration when divvying up the other properties. I think it's sensible of you to want to know what's going to happen with it. I don't think you should have to buy him out to have some sense of security.

Namechangeforthegamechange Fri 21-Feb-20 00:54:09

So your dads estate will be split between his children. So his half of your shares house will be split, if it’s just you and your brother you will get a 1/4 each. The house your brother is currently living in would be split between the 2 of you. So no he won’t automatically just keep the house it will be a decision you will have to work out with probate.

GeorgiaGirl52 Fri 21-Feb-20 04:02:21

How exactly is it registered? If it is joint with right of survivorship then whoever outlives the other gets the house. If it is joint with no rights, then his HALF will be split between you and your brother, giving you 3/4 of the house and your brother 1/4. Might it not be cheaper to wait and buy out your brother?

HoppingPavlova Fri 21-Feb-20 05:56:39

I agree with GeorgiaGirl52, it would be far better to leave it now and then later your fathers half of the house would be split in two so you would only need to buy your brother out with 25% rather than buy your father out with 50% as it currently stands.

I’m also not on board with everything having to be divided equally. I won’t be leaving everything equally as my kids have different needs and are situated differently in life through no fault of their own (not like some worked hard and some were lazy etc). So me doing it my way just works to even it up a little. It may be that one gets absolutely nothing but an explanation and I’ve already told my kids my philosophy. I’ve got no obligation to tell them actual split at this point and it may change as their situations change over the years. Mine just all went, yeah whatever, no one seemed to care. Some realise they are a lot luckier than others just by virtue of lottery of birth and they have always been appreciative of this so there should be no issues in the future unless entitled spouses enter the picture and get in their ears, always a possibility hmm.

Itwasntme1 Fri 21-Feb-20 06:53:59

Is there a cultural issue here where the male inherits over the female?

It seems odd that after your brother already receiving one house, he expects to solely inherit the other half of the house your dad owns with you.

It’s time to sit down with both parents and ask them to explain their intentions.

While yes it is their money, they are favouring your brother and given you jointly own an asset with your dad you need to know where you stand.

SW16 Fri 21-Feb-20 07:10:02

Did you and your Dad buy the house as joint tenants or as tenants in common?

As I understand it if a property is owned as joint tenants if one dies the other becomes the owner of the whole property.

Look at your contract of sale.

Your brother sounds very very grabby.

However your Dad does need to make a will, as do you.

And you need to understand your legal rights over the house. For example if your Dad needed residential care the LA can insist that he sells his property to pay. Could this include your shared house? Unlikely if you were living in it, but more possible if it was rented, maybe.

It needs looking into.

Anyway, your brother is being horrible,

I would wait for things to calm down and at a good moment have a quiet chat with your Dad and say you feel difficult and upset that your brother brought this up, and you are wondering what your brother’s problem is because you know he has given a house to your brother. Tell your Dad how important your shared house is to you.

Does the rent pay the mortgage? Or who keeps the balance of the rent? Do you share it with your Dad?

Check out the tenants in common v joint tenants thing.

SW16 Fri 21-Feb-20 07:14:07

Has he actually given the other house to your brother, as in your brother is the owner?

That’s not inheritance that is a gift.

Ilovechinese Fri 21-Feb-20 07:28:21

Your brother sounds like mine, greedy and thinking of what he can get before your parent has died. I think you should speak to your Dad about it and ask that he leave that house to you then he can leave another house to your brother to be fair and solit the rest between you (as you says he has many) hopefully your Dad is a fair man and will do that especially as you have children to think of

PurpleFlower1983 Fri 21-Feb-20 07:30:21

It sounds like OP’s father favours the male line as it were. I think you need to ask your father to leave you the remaining half of the house in his will.

Pinkyyy Fri 21-Feb-20 07:37:57

This is something I find extremely distasteful. Arguing over what you'll get when your dad dies. You should be thankful he's alive, not plotting what you'll do when he's gone. I hope he leaves the lot to charity.

Medievalist Fri 21-Feb-20 07:47:22

I won’t be leaving everything equally as my kids have different needs and are situated differently in life through no fault of their own (not like some worked hard and some were lazy etc). So me doing it my way just works to even it up a little

Don't you worry that your dcs will feel unhappy that you treated them unequally? And see this as a reflection of how much you valued them? And how can you be certain that, at the time of your death, their circumstances will be the same as they are now? Health problems, divorce, redundancy etc can all turn people's lives upside down.

EngagedAgain Fri 21-Feb-20 07:50:42

Yes but it sounds like the father is being a bit of a dick. Not read full thread but ideally your father would do one of two things to make it fair. Leave both of you at least one of his properties each outright (keeps it simpler) or at least signs over his half of your joint property.

Itwasntme1 Fri 21-Feb-20 08:12:44

@Pinkyyy I think in the circumstances of the bother claiming he is getting everything it is right to ask.

I watched a wonderful series years ago which was based on parents writing wills and addressing the issues when they are alive rather than leaving it for the adult children to argue over and feel rejected by their parents.

There was a great episode about a farming family where the brothers were pushing for their little sister to be left nothing. She was still at uni. Their dad agreed and their mum was really upset by their attitude. The parents eventually agreed a split of heir assets which reflected the older boys contribution to the farm business, but also included their daughter.

It was a difficult watch (particularly the daughter in laws greed). But it was sorted and everyone knew where they stood.

I really do believe If parents aren’t splitting things equally they should let their children know and give the reasons. Rather than leave it as a huge shock.

bohemia14 Fri 21-Feb-20 08:15:07

You only own half a house. It's up to your father what he chooses to do with the other half and I find the idea that you and your brother are having conversations about your inheritance behind your father's back very entitled. The only thing you need to take away from the situation at the moment is that your father doesn't have any plans at the moment and doesn't want to make any decisions. You should respect that until he wishes to discuss it, if he chooses to.

Kirkman Fri 21-Feb-20 08:21:37

Legally, you own half a house.

Morally as you dad gave your brother a house, I think he should sign the other half (at least over to you). However, legally if you dad died soon (god forbid that happens) the other half would be part of the estate and split however the rest of that is.

You could at that point buy the others (whoever they maybe) out.

I would speak to your dad and point out how unfair it is that your brother got a free house. See if that resolves it.

If not and you want to keep the house, buy him out. You dad has been paying half the mortgage on a house he doesnt live in for quite a few years. Not sure why this didnt occur to you, or why you didnt agree something when you bought it

billy1966 Fri 21-Feb-20 08:22:37

OP, it sounds like your father is being a dick.
Your brother has already received a house and is being very greedy.

Do not leave this go.
You need to protect the property.
You need to spell it out for your father that you want to buy his share of the property or sell the property.
Tell your father exactly what your brother has said and that you do not want to have this worry.
If your father and parents force you to sell the house having already given your brother a home, at least you will know where you stand.

From what you have written, I would not trust your father and parents to do the obvious and fair thing.

Do not hope this will just sort itself out.

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