To ask were you smacked by your parents as a child, and do you forgive them now?

[blubberball]

I was smacked by my parents as a child. Sometimes they would completely lose their shit and smack me over and over, whilst shouting at me. Each syllable would be a smack. I remember wanting my dm to stop talking, so that she would stop hitting me. I remember being in the street and my dm taking a swing at my arse, and I managed to move to dodge it.

I guess it stopped at the "appropriate" age. 10 or something.

I have never smacked my dc, and would use time outs to discipline them. My parents moved with the times and followed my lead. I forgive them, and they are very loving and supportive now. It's strange to think that happened now.

[Enchiladas]

Forgive them?? I was smacked by my parents and I am eternally thankful they disciplined me effectively like that.

[Nanny0gg]

Yes I was smacked.

I'm nearly 70 so it was very much the norm.

Nothing to forgive as far as I'm concerned.

[JulietTango]

You don't need to an smack a child for discipline to be effective

[YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake]

I was smacked as a child, never occurred to me I needed to forgive my parents for it. They were trying to teach me right from wrong in a way that was acceptable at the time

[VashtaNerada]

I was and I do forgive them because I think they genuinely thought that was okay at the time. I would never ever smack my children though, I remember it far too clearly to do that to another person.

[IamRhubarbBikini]

Very much the same upbringing and honestly can’t see there’s anything to forgive. I was disciplined where necessary and given firm boundaries, for that I am grateful if anything.

[DartmoorChef]

I was occasionally smacked. Very very occasionally. I had been given ample warning and still carried on being naughty. I would have been aged between 5 and 8 I think. Generally the 'if you don't behave you will be getting a smack' was enough to stop me in my tracks.

I didn't grow up hating them, or scared of them. I grew up with respect not fear. They were good parents.

[Pilot12]

Yes and yes, on the occasions that I remember myself and my sister were smacked we had done something very naughty and deserved it (like the day I decided to peel the pattern off the bathroom tiles because I loved peeling stuff and ruined the bathroom decor forever!).

[Pilot12]

Yes and yes, on the occasions that I remember myself and my sister were smacked we had done something very naughty and deserved it (like the day I decided to peel the pattern off the bathroom tiles because I loved peeling stuff and ruined the bathroom decor forever!).

[saraclara]

I thought less of my mother every time she hit me. It seemed like a loss of control to me. Well it was. She didn't just give me a tap on the leg.

[treasurethis]

I was smacked as a child, I have mixed views.

My mother was as you describe OP, and I don't forgive her. Every single syllable, with marks/bruising often for laughing too loudly or even for something a sibling had done. She'd completely lose her shit and sees no problem with it. Going NC was the best thing I ever did.

However the majority of my childhood was spent being minded by my grandmother who had firm boundaries, taught us everything and she did smack us when 'needed'. I don't remember it with any of the uncomfortable feelings that I do when I think about the treatment from my mother.

I think there is a definite difference between snacking and what some call snacking - which is actually abuse.

[HulksPurplePanties]

Yes and yes. Honestly don't think anything of it, it was always well deserved IMHO. It's the emotional abuse from my mother I struggle with.

[FearOfTheDuck]

I forgive my dad, because he realised afterwards that it wasn't the best parenting method, he talked to me about it, and he never smacked my (much younger) sister.

I can't forgive my mother because her smacking was accompanied by absolute uncontrollable rage, swearing, insults, and threats to call social services to take me as she didn't want me anymore. This was for normal misbehaviour, but I had the perception that I was an unlovable nightmare child until I worked with children as a young adult and saw that I was actually ordinary.

Smacking is wrong, but smacking alone doesn't necessarily cause the most harm, so I do understand previous posters who don't feel they were harmed by it.

[AuntieMarys]

Yes I was. Nothing to forgive in my opinion.

[Toddlerteaplease]

We knew smacking was a last resort, if we'd been really naughty. I am glad they disciplined us properly and would have no problem with smacking my own children (if I had them) My parents were and are wonderful parents.

[FearOfTheDuck]

I forgive my dad, because he realised afterwards that it wasn't the best parenting method, he talked to me about it, and he never smacked my (much younger) sister.

I can't forgive my mother because her smacking was accompanied by absolute uncontrollable rage, swearing, insults, and threats to call social services to take me as she didn't want me anymore. This was for normal misbehaviour, but I had the perception that I was an unlovable nightmare child until I worked with children as a young adult and saw that I was actually ordinary.

Smacking is wrong, but smacking alone doesn't necessarily cause the most harm, so I do understand previous posters who don't feel they were harmed by it.

[AuntieMarys]

Yes I was. Nothing to forgive in my opinion. Hasn't affected me

[Toddlerteaplease]

We knew smacking was a last resort, if we'd been really naughty. I am glad they disciplined us properly and would have no problem with smacking my own children (if I had them) My parents were and are wonderful parents.

[ClinkyMonkey]

I was smacked as a child from time to time. I don't feel I need to forgive my mother as she was just doing what most other parents did back then. My dad was much more scary and he never laid a finger on us.

I do get a bit irritated when my mum claims she didn't smack me - she WOULDN'T do that to a child - revisionist history, I suppose, since smacking is no longer seen as an acceptable form of punishment. I'm thinking inside 'you did smack me', but what's the point of making something out of it?

I saw a man smacking his small son when I was shopping last week. The child didn't react much, but his older sister was extremely upset. It gave me the most awful feeling inside, as if I was transported back to childhood and feeling the utter helplessness I felt then.

[Toddlerteaplease]

We knew smacking was a last resort, if we'd been really naughty. I am glad they disciplined us properly and would have no problem with smacking my own children (if I had them) My parents were and are wonderful parents.

[Poetryinaction]

I was smacked. I was locked in a room. I was ignored.
I could forgive all that if my parents didn't pretend it never happened. They seemed shocked that teaching my kids discipline is a long road. It's not based on fear. They believe they were perfect parents, and constantly allude to the fact that I could do better.

[FearOfTheDuck]

I forgive my dad, because he realised afterwards that it wasn't the best parenting method, he talked to me about it, and he never smacked my (much younger) sister.

I can't forgive my mother because her smacking was accompanied by absolute uncontrollable rage, swearing, insults, and threats to call social services to take me as she didn't want me anymore. This was for normal misbehaviour, but I had the perception that I was an unlovable nightmare child until I worked with children as a young adult and saw that I was actually ordinary.

Smacking is wrong, but smacking alone doesn't necessarily cause the most harm, so I do understand previous posters who don't feel they were harmed by it.

[HulksPurplePanties]

Yes and yes. Honestly don't think anything of it, it was always well deserved IMHO. It's the emotional abuse from my mother I struggle with.

[Callimanco]

I am of the rather controversial opinion that a quick smack (not repeated venting of anger by smacking as you describe) is potentially less harmful than screaming or yelling at a child. Particularly when parents label the child rather than the behaviour (you are such an idiot, rather than that was an idiotic thing to do, eg).
So I don't hold those few smacked bottoms in response to me doing things I had been told not to against my parents. It stopped before I was 5 and I was never slapped, kicked, dragged or pulled all of which are very different in my mind.

They have never smacked my children

[saraclara]

I thought less of my mother every time she hit me. It seemed like a loss of control to me. Well it was. She didn't just give me a tap on the leg.