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....to hate the phrase "inappropriate behaviour"?

(69 Posts)
Greensleeves Tue 04-Sep-07 17:28:53

It sets my teeth on edge. I've heard teachers/nursery folk say it of children fighting/shouting etc, "XXX was behaving inappropriately". It sounds....cold, and formal, and a bit straight-out-of-a-textbook. Not quite human somehow.

AIBU?

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 04-Sep-07 17:30:44

Yes, you big ol pernicket grin

How the divil are you snotty?

Greensleeves Tue 04-Sep-07 17:31:31

Bearing up grin

How are you?

<<"inappropriate behaviour".....gaaaaaaaah>>

2shoes Tue 04-Sep-07 17:32:22

well they can't say silly or naughty

southeastastra Tue 04-Sep-07 17:32:58

can't we say silly i quite like that

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 04-Sep-07 17:33:17

I'm good. Tired atm but there is lots going on so, hey ho.

How is DS1?

lisad123 Tue 04-Sep-07 17:34:47

I use that wording when writing a report but never in speaking. i agree it does sound rather cold. I rememeber in my training we were warned against using the word naughty as it labels the child and not the behaviour... Hmmmm

handlemecarefully Tue 04-Sep-07 17:35:19

What would you prefer them to say Greeny?

Greensleeves Tue 04-Sep-07 17:35:43

He's OK, has been quite delightful really this summer, in between bouts of.....inappropriate behaviour <<shiver>>

We had to buy his school uniform yesterday <snivel>

I agree it's probably because all the other possible words have been PCd out of existence (mixed feelings there, don't like children being told they are bad or stupid or whatever either)

Peachy Tue 04-Sep-07 17:36:25

I say it loads

for flapping, screeching etc

not fighting - thats different

ShinyHappySchmooo Tue 04-Sep-07 17:36:43

Well DS (7/SN) randomly grabs people by the norks or the scrotum, depending on sex, just to get a shocked reaction. Which, obviously he gets. I'd say "inappropriate behaviour" pretty much covers that! grin

Greensleeves Tue 04-Sep-07 17:40:06

Hmmm, in the context of a child with SN doing something an NT child the same age wouldn't do, I can see the word "inappropriate" having a slightly different flavour - it doesn't give me the creeps in that context. What's being described is "inappropriate" there.

But for some reason when it's the cover-all term for general childish devilment and rumpus, it curls my toes. Dunno why.

chocchipcookie Tue 04-Sep-07 17:40:52

I hate it. Why can't you say 'That was a naughty/silly/dangerous thing to do'.

I also hate 'I have issues...'

ShinyHappySchmooo Tue 04-Sep-07 17:42:25

Yes you're right Greeny. Used as an unbrella term for normal naughtiness it's rather an inappropriate label. It makes me think of leering old pervs for some reason, which has nothing whatsoever to do with childish naughtiness!

ShinyHappySchmooo Tue 04-Sep-07 17:43:01

I have a tshirt with "I have issues" on it which my friend bought me. Because, so often, I do blush

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 04-Sep-07 17:46:27

Well indeed. There is inappropriate behaviour and inappropriate behaviour grin

Glad you have had a good summer with him. I've yet to get DD's uniform shock I've been putting it off [lazy]

Greensleeves Tue 04-Sep-07 17:47:31

I think that might be part of the problm for me too Shiny, it makes me think of "inappropriate touching" etc.

Also it's the cold detached-ness of it, it smacks of a rather soulless and robotic attitude to children which worries me, and the fact that it implies that the typical pain-in-the-arse childish schenanigans that makes children children is....."inappropriate".

[too much time on hands]

southeastastra Tue 04-Sep-07 17:48:21

i mean if jeremy put a pen up his nose would the teacher say 'jeremy that's inappropriate behavior' daft.

it's silly behaviour grin

chocchipcookie Tue 04-Sep-07 17:49:15

Also, 'I need to set a boundary here...'

I live in US so it is worse here.

Peachy Tue 04-Sep-07 17:49:35

And next time ds1 (s he learned in his first day at juniors yesterday...) stands in public, hands behind head gyrating hps and yelling 'When I grow up I'm gonna be sexy with 200 women' I will defintiely say inappropriate


before running for cover as fast as possible

LittleBella Tue 04-Sep-07 17:51:03

I totally agree with you.

The word inappropriate is just used now in lieu of "unfitting" or "unseemly" or "unsuitable". The other thing I don't like about it is that it's a catch-all to cover everything. Children being naughty is not inappropriate, it's appropriate to their age, development stage, tiredness level and character. It is meaningless.

LittleBella Tue 04-Sep-07 17:52:12

LOL peachy, is he going to be a rock star?

"I'm gonna be inappropriate with 200 women"

I've been inappropriate with several men...ah, happy days <sinks into reverie>

chocchipcookie Tue 04-Sep-07 17:54:17

Dear SHS. Big group hug to you for tackling your issues. I feel your pain. And I want to join you and support you in your special journey. It's so important to validate those feelings. Don't let anyone steal your joy today! From your soulmate in the USA.

Peachy Tue 04-Sep-07 17:55:45

support you in your journey of searching for closure, surely? wink

hate hate hate all this stuff#


you'd get slapped for less back home

NAd yes he does want to be a pop star LOL

chocchipcookie Tue 04-Sep-07 17:57:15

grin

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