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Bank - everyday sexism? Would you complain?

(124 Posts)
hoovermoover Tue 18-Feb-20 19:29:31

I've recently set up a new joint current account for me and my husband. Im a woman to be clear.

When I set it up I obviously put my details first, and his second. All of the paperwork has arrived in this format. I've arranged everything that has been needed to set it up. I even set up the app on his phone. He has literally done NOTHING apart from say 'yes please' when I talked to him about setting it up.

Today the local branch has emailed ONLY him to welcome him to the bank, and to introduce themselves to him. There is no email to me, and it's specifically addressed to him.

AIBU to be annoyed about this? At the least I'd expect there to be an email to us both welcoming our JOINT business to them.

I am a bit hacked off with being the person who does all of the leg work for everything ever in our house, but is this clouding my judgement? Would you send an email to point out the blatant sexism? So bloody annoying!!

99problemsandthecatis1 Tue 18-Feb-20 19:31:17

Are you already banking with the bank? Is he a "brand new customer"?

hoovermoover Tue 18-Feb-20 19:32:04

No, it's a brand new joint account for us both.

anotherlittlechicken Tue 18-Feb-20 19:32:07

Very annoying indeed. Shouldn't be happening in 2020 really. Like there are still some door-to-door salesmen, and car salesmen who won't let the iccle wumman close a deal. HUBZINGTON just HAS to be there to make sure she is doing it properly. Fux me right off! hmm

anotherlittlechicken Tue 18-Feb-20 19:32:43

And YEP I would complain!

Geppili Tue 18-Feb-20 19:32:51

Which Bank? That's terrible!

Geppili Tue 18-Feb-20 19:33:13

Def complain!

ProfessorHasturLaVista Tue 18-Feb-20 19:33:48

YANBU. I complained when our bank phoned to discuss our joint mortgage and would only speak to DH. They said the system was set up only to allow access to one of the mortgage holders, but that they would look at processes in future. I got a nice letter and a phone call from more senior staff acknowledging the sexist bias in the system.

BadgerBadgerMushroom Tue 18-Feb-20 19:35:30

I'd complain. Just no need for it. We got our tenancy renewed at the end of last year. Both our names on it but I pay the rent. New tenancy agreement to Mr Badger Mushroom. They didn't bother to reply to my email though 🙈

Boireannachlaidir Tue 18-Feb-20 19:35:45

It's a poor show from the bank but it also beggars belief that you did everything to set the accounts up including putting the app on your husband's phone. Is he not able to do things for himself?

EntropyRising Tue 18-Feb-20 19:35:52

Is it an automatic email, or written by a human?

Iusedtobeapartygirl Tue 18-Feb-20 19:35:56

Please complain. Things like that are really annoying.

TeaAndWine Tue 18-Feb-20 19:36:13

That's so shit! What bank is it??

rottiemum88 Tue 18-Feb-20 19:36:42

No, it's a brand new joint account for us both.

Doesn't answer the question. Did/do you already bank with this bank but your DH didn't?

Skinnyjeansandaloosetop Tue 18-Feb-20 19:37:02

This happened to me! I set up a joint mortgage with my DH (I did all the work for it) and ALL communication goes to Mr Skinnyjeans... this is Nationwide.

Igmum Tue 18-Feb-20 19:37:20

Yes, complain. That's ridiculous and absolutely unacceptable. Hope you get a grovelling apology OP

mumto2teenagers Tue 18-Feb-20 19:37:42

YANBU, I would complain.

cricketballs3 Tue 18-Feb-20 19:39:35

We get post through individually about our joint account on separate days - maybe wait a day or so before automatically jumping to making rash judgements

Eddielzzard Tue 18-Feb-20 19:42:13

I get this sort of sexism all the time, running my own business. They assume I'm a man or they assume that my DH must be in charge, even though he's got nothing to do with it. It's constant minor drip drip toxic crap that never feels big enough to complain about but really winds me up.

AhoyMrBeaver Tue 18-Feb-20 19:42:41

The fact it's addressed only to him would suggest this is just an admin delay, and that your email is on its way.

I imagine new customers are all contacted this way as a security measure ie to make sure all parties know they're associated with a new account. You might get separate letters in the post as well.

RandomMess Tue 18-Feb-20 19:44:24

I have this exact same thing with Nationwide!!

Took me long enough to sort out them using and spelling my names correctly on all accounts that I haven't yet tackled the joint account issue...

PriscillaTheHun Tue 18-Feb-20 19:45:39

It might just be an admin error / oversight.

DH rang our bank recently to set us up with a joint savings account. (We already have a joint current account with them).

All the paperwork came just addressed to me! No idea why.

His details were in the letter though.

Sunshineand Tue 18-Feb-20 19:46:25

When my partner and I were buying a house in 2018 the conveyancers did this to me. He's a man, I'm a woman. Every email or phone message I sent/left got ignored. Every email my partner sent got actioned the same day. It got to the point that we decided that just my partner should send all communication hmm

hoovermoover Tue 18-Feb-20 19:49:08

Neither of us have any other accounts with this bank. It's our first experience of banking with this bank, individually or jointly.

I'd hope an email comes to me, but I can't imagine they are so inundated with new accounts at a branch level that copying and pasting an email to both people in a joint account would be too time consuming and they'd be expecting to get to me soon... we have first and surnames v close to each other's in the alphabet too...

The one that has been sent to him is from a specific member of staff at the branch close to where we live. It addresses him by his first name, and specifically asks him if the process of setting up the account has gone ok and if there were any specific issues with anything.

He is not a great user of technology and tried to set up the app and managed to lock himself out so I just did it when it unlocked as he was a bit adamant he had done it correctly in the first place...

Biancadelrioisback Tue 18-Feb-20 19:50:14

I'd complain...and im not a complainer!

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