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AIBU?

Personal Email sent to whole department by mistake

265 replies

MuppetsGalore · 18/02/2020 01:45

I've ducked up and worried about potential outcomes of this faux pas


An was sent to staff with platitudes about Caroline flaks suicide which I found infuriating, I've also been really annoyed by comments on social media about suicide ect

I thought I'd hit forward on the email but got reply and got distracted by other work and used it for writing notes and during my shift also wrote a bit of a rant for my diary

Anyhoo fast forward to the end of the night I'm knackered and in a rush to head home i just hit send on a couple of the emails i had open only to realise i sent my ramblings onto the whole department 🤦‍♀️

Worst case scenario i get fired for being a trouble maker best case scenario they all have a good laugh at me 🤦‍♀️

Aibu to be mortified by this?

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Am I being unreasonable?

364 votes. Final results.

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MuppetsGalore · 18/02/2020 01:46

This is my blurb...





"I’m in a rather reflective mood after all the facebook and twitter posts circulating about Caroline Flack. These messages always include links to the Samaritans and suggestions on how to improve our mental health but I can’t help but wonder how WE, on an individual level, contribute to the toxic environment that often leads people to feel utterly hopeless and like they have nowhere to turn.



I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been curt and dismissive of people closest to me when I’m stressed out.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve neglected a close friend because I’m too wrapped up in my own depression.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve harshly judged an someone because of a thrw away comment or a misjudged post on social media.



It’s not enough to just share memes about mental health whilst treating people on social media like scum



It’s not enough for companies to have mental health ambassadors whilst treating employees like numbers on a spreadsheet



It’s not enough for politicians to wear “I

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Buttonitboris · 18/02/2020 01:50

No, I think you're a hero.

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GrimDamnFanjo · 18/02/2020 01:51

I don't think so at all unless I've read this wrong .
Your reply indicates you've been thinking about the wide issues.

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Witchend · 18/02/2020 01:54

Assuming this isn't an attempt to attract people here to your blog...

I don't think it's a major issue. It looks like you reflected upon it and felt you had more to add.
I wouldn't put it on your blog now though as if it's picked up on there, then you might find management unimpressed at you using work time to do your blog.

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pemberleypearl · 18/02/2020 01:56

I thought this was be way worse! No OP, you'll have unintentionally made people think.

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MuppetsGalore · 18/02/2020 01:57

I'm just worried it's gonna come across condescending and like I'm shit stirring

I find my work place very stifling and sometimes fake and i use writing as a release but would never have the nerve to speak up

Feel like such a fool

Got an email from my boss asking if I'm OK

Tried to recall the damn email but it didn't work, so wonder what the bloody point of the recall function is on outlook if people can still open the email

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Blondie1984 · 18/02/2020 01:58

Do you know what your workplace policy is on email? Eg sending personal emails from your work account etc? And was this sent during work time?

Hopefully people will see it more as a thought piece than a rant about your company specifically and it won't end up being your Jerry Maguire moment

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Procrastination4 · 18/02/2020 01:59

I don’t see anything wrong with that. You made some very good points, and if the original email was as you say and circulated to everyone, you were just making relevant points and sharing those (even if you didn’t intend to) so why should you be fired for that?

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MuppetsGalore · 18/02/2020 02:02

@witchend lol no i don't have a blog, just email rants to myself and very occasionally post to my personal Facebook page but don't have the energy anymore for the predictable arguments that usually follow 😞

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MuppetsGalore · 18/02/2020 02:06

@blondie1984 They're quite strict use of emails for personal stuff plus worried it will come across as insubordination (I'm on thin ice at the mo in terms of poor performance so this might just add to their case against me if i come across as unstable or a trouble maker

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VenusTiger · 18/02/2020 02:16

Tbh OP I would not like to have received this email at all. It's like a telling off! Sorry, just being honest.
You'd be better off confessing to your manager that it was a diary entry or some such - I would've got into trouble for sure for sending this as it's personal. Especially if you've sent it to managers.
Hope you're okay though - these things happen I guess when you're busy, and you have every right to take whatever tone you like in a diary entry.

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Blondie1984 · 18/02/2020 02:17

When you say "on thin ice", have you had any verbal or written warnings ?

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Cohle · 18/02/2020 02:23

Well to be honest I'd be pretty concerned about the judgment of one of my reports who sent an email like this.

If you had concerns about the official email your workplace circulated then the appropriate response was to raise them with your manager or the sender. Ironically in your attempt to encourage kindness you've been very unkind to the staff member who drafted the original email. Moreover if it's a large organisation they may well have sought advice from suicide prevention charities on the best possible wording.

It's also not really an appropriate use of your time at work, particularly if there already issues with your performance.

I think you need to make clear that you did not intend to send the email and apologise profusely.

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thetwinkletoescollective · 18/02/2020 02:36

You have shared what you think. And everything you think is valid.
You have expressed push back at the heart of all this: This stuff it’s not all ‘out there’ to be channelled towards external organisations but it’s ‘in here’. It’s to do with the fragility of peoples hearts and the choices we make towards one another.

You expressed it so well.

I wouldn’t back track or apologise or say it was a diary entry. It’s what you think.

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MuppetsGalore · 18/02/2020 02:37

"It's like a telling off!"

@venustiger that's what I'm worried about

The work culture does frustrate me but this is a totally unprofessional way to express myself

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VenusTiger · 18/02/2020 02:44

Did you follow-up the email immediately to state that it was not meant for any of the recipients? You need damage control pronto!

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mnthrowaway202020 · 18/02/2020 02:46

Yes, you fucked up. It doesn’t come off as heroism. It’s wholly inappropriate. There’s a time and place etc.

You said that you have depression- are your management/HR aware or is this the first time you have disclosed your mental health?

It’s not enough for companies to have mental health ambassadors whilst treating employees like numbers on a spreadsheet

Could this be taken that you were referring to your own company?

Not surprised your manager asked if you were okay.

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Maduixa · 18/02/2020 02:51

About the Outlook recall not working - it may depend on settings (yours and each of the recipients') but normally you should get a warning saying that for any recipient who's already clicked on your email or marked it "read", it won't be deleted. If you override the warning and send anyway, each recipient should still get a recall message, even if the email isn't deleted (unless they have their settings set to ignore recalls). So if you sent the recall immediately, at least that supports your claim that you sent the original by accident.

I would talk to your boss as soon as you reasonably can at work tomorrow and explain what happened. Ask advice on what to do - would s/he like you to send a follow-up explaining it was a mistake, or just leave it alone? If anyone else at work asks you in the meantime, just say sorry, it was sent in error.

By the way - I once took an anger management class at work (not just me; everyone at a certain level had to) and the instructor advised us to go ahead and type completely honest, angry email replies to get the issues out of our system, and then delete without saving a copy. Sounded to me like a recipe for a LOT of accidental incriminating/embarrassing emails potentially being sent in error!

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SachaStark · 18/02/2020 02:59

I can’t imagine working in a job where you have time to write long and rambling emails to yourself about nothing connected to your work! Did you write it in your lunch break or something?

Also, you referred to what you showed to us as your “blurb”, so like a summary? Does that mean that you actually wrote loads more than that?

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mnthrowaway202020 · 18/02/2020 03:10

I used to work in HR. Your management will be anticipating your response before deciding what further action to take, so it all rests on how you explain yourself.

Frankly I’m not sure on what is the best approach to damage control especially as you’re already on some form of performance management.

On one hand, you could say that this is due to suffering with your own depression - the email will most likely be ignored but you may (unfortunately) find yourself being treated differently after disclosing your mental health eg they may wonder if you are under undue stress and perhaps decrease your workload. They may attribute your depression to previous poor appraisals. You may be asked to evidence your depression with your medical records etc. Do you feel comfortable with this?

On the other hand you could say it was simply an accident and ignore the mental health aspect, but you’d probably face some sort of disciplinary action over it. Wasting time at work/bringing reputation into disrepute if they think you were referencing them/not following the previous advice given after your last appraisals (you say you’re on thin ice?)

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CassidyStone · 18/02/2020 03:11

I don't understand how you managed to send it as an email to everyone. Don't you usually write your diary entries as a word document then send it to your personal email as an attachment?

I think you run the risk of being asked to explain why you have enough time to compose lengthy ramblings during the working day, and why you thought it appropriate to inform the entire workforce of your thoughts.

It does sound like a blog entry to be honest.

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RevealAll · 18/02/2020 03:36

Not sure how work will take it.

I’m not sure you’re right anyway. More than one farmer a week dies by suicide. They aren’t big on social media and being kind won’t help the farm stay afloat. Sometimes life is actually too hard. It’s not all teenagers and mental health.

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ScarlettBlaize · 18/02/2020 03:43

Jesus. How patronising, twee and poorly expressed. I'd be somewhere between nauseated and furious if that little screed was sent to me by a colleague.

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HoppingPavlova · 18/02/2020 03:58

I’d just think, ‘uhhm, okay’ and hit delete. I’d then not give it another thought.

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jellycatspyjamas · 18/02/2020 03:59

the email will most likely be ignored but you may (unfortunately) find yourself being treated differently after disclosing your mental health eg they may wonder if you are under undue stress and perhaps decrease your workload.

I’m pretty sure it illegal to treat someone differently due to a disclosed disability unless as part of agreed reasonable adjustments. The Equalities Act has quite a bit to say about disability discrimination.

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