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AIBU?

AIBU dead neighbour

133 replies

Soggymacaroon · 17/02/2020 22:31

So my hoarder neighbour died just after Christmas. She was an old lady, really nice but mad as a box of frogs. Anyway her family started clearing her house immediately but have just piled her stuff in her back garden, fair enough but it’s now been there weeks. With the storm it’s blowing rubbish everywhere. I know they’re grieving but AIBU to be a bit pissed off. My husband and I have offered to help but they didn’t want any and are instead just relying on the weekly rubbish collection. Is there anything I can do and not be a total bellend at the same time? It’s not food rubbish just house crap EVERYWHERE!

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

514 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
12%
You are NOT being unreasonable
88%
85notout · 17/02/2020 22:35

YANBU to find it annoying but there isn't really anything that you can do is there, you'd seem insensitive if you complained to them even though they are being unreasonable.

Maybe they can't afford house clearance or a skip?

MummySharn · 17/02/2020 22:38

YANBU, I’m sure it’s annoying. But I’m not really sure what you can do

FizzyIce · 17/02/2020 22:42

Council maybe ? I know it’s not an easy time for them but it’ll take months if they’re relying on weekly bin removal

daffodilbrain · 17/02/2020 22:43

I'd call the council

64sNewName · 17/02/2020 22:44

Is there maybe a way to contact a council environmental health team, making it clear to them you don’t want conflict but that it seems like your neighbour’s family needs support in managing her stuff appropriately?

If there’s really a lot of stuff related to hoarding, it can be overwhelming I’m sure. And I’d be concerned about animals/vermin getting into piles of it and living in there, so it does seem possibly valid to check with an environmental team.

I would only try this if you can establish first that they won’t get into trouble, though - it would be more about flagging concerns than reporting them in an aggressive way.

CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate · 17/02/2020 22:44

Call the council. There's an environment team. Tell them it's an attraction for rodents.

Lolwhat · 17/02/2020 22:46

It’s not your garden so get a grip, someone has lost a family member and your concerned about rubbish🥴

Bezalelle · 17/02/2020 22:48

Whether a family member has died or not, you shouldn't pile rubbish up in their garden. Jesus.

PepsiLola · 17/02/2020 22:49

I contacted the council about a garden connected to mine filled with rubbish, the council responded saying they will contact home owner (they did, rubbish was cleared in a week).

Might be more complicated as I imagine the owners name has not been transferred yet

Soggymacaroon · 17/02/2020 22:56

I did contemplate ringing the council but I do feeel bad for them. From what I gather they aren’t particularly well off so probably can’t afford a skip but they do drive so why not go to the tip? I know it’s only rubbish I’m just concerned about vermin and also the rubbish is everywhere In the street it’s just really unsightly. I think I’ll give the council a call but try and make it clear I don’t want to cause an argument. I just think it need to be removed quickly. It’s been like it since December, I just think that’s enough time.

OP posts:
64sNewName · 17/02/2020 22:57

Yeah, I think that’s enough time too. The council people will know what to do. I don’t think you’re unreasonable to feel it can’t stay like that.

Ponoka7 · 17/02/2020 22:59

I'd offer the help again and if they turn you down, then complain face to face about them leaving the rubbish in the garden.

Happygirl79 · 17/02/2020 23:00

I agree. Its an environmental issue. The council will sort it out if you let them know

Soggymacaroon · 17/02/2020 23:03

Thanks everyone, just filed a report to our local council. I feel terrible about it but I did make it clear they’re grieving. It’s just really sad they’ve even got baby baskets out there that must be at least 40 years old. I dread to think how cluttered the house must have been.

OP posts:
LifeImplosionImminent · 17/02/2020 23:04

FFS - it's a bit of mess - wind your neck in and let them grieve

NotTerfNorCis · 17/02/2020 23:04

YANBU if litter is blowing into your garden. Can't they put a tarpaulin over it? Littering someone else's garden is probably an offence.

TypingoftheDead · 17/02/2020 23:06

@Lolwhat - it might not be her garden but the strong, high winds we're having blowing stuff about could make it hazardous for them and others - that's what the OP is concerned about!

Soggymacaroon · 17/02/2020 23:08

Honestly it’s not just a bit of mess it’s the whole garden piled up as high as the 6ft fence. I understand they are grieving it’s a little bit disrespectful to the residents of the street. It’s been at least 8 weeks, how long is acceptable another week, month a year? Surely it had a limit

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Soggymacaroon · 17/02/2020 23:10

That’s exactly it, yes it’s an eyesore but its more the fact it’s blowing all over the street into the drains and on peoples cars. We have a few older people on the road using walking sticks I hate to think of them slipping on a bin bag

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EmeraldShamrock · 17/02/2020 23:12

Call the council. It is sad though life goes on. Even in grief I think it was pretty shit of them to pile it up this weather.
Yanbu.

Chesntoots · 17/02/2020 23:13

If they took it straight from the house to the tip it would be fine, but now it is wet rubbish which will weigh twice ad much and be twice as gross to move.

My dad was a bit of a hoarder so I understand the issue and I also understand the being skint, but that really isn't your problem and you shouldn't have to put up with rubbish all over your garden too, particularly if your offers of help have been declined.

EmeraldShamrock · 17/02/2020 23:15

I saw you contacted them. They could get an agency to clear if they can't afford it, Is it going up for sale?

Itwasntme1 · 17/02/2020 23:15

Some harsh responses here🙄. I think you are being sensitive / but they are being unreasonable. It seems odd to take all the rubbish out of the house if they had nowhere to take it. And unfair to let it blow all over the street and into neighbours gardens. I think even grieving people would reAlise they are causing a nuisance

justasking111 · 17/02/2020 23:16

Our neighbour shredded newspapers for compost, that drew in the rats. She was so shocked when the council pointed this out to her she cleared it immediately.

Soggymacaroon · 17/02/2020 23:16

I just don’t understand why you’d leave it so long. Surely they need to sell the house. Selfishly I’m also worried about what kind of buyer will take it. After moving from a particularly bad area, which went downhill rapidly after the older residents died and the houses were snapped up cheap and rented out. I’m nervous at how quickly a nice house on a nice road can turn into a hellhole

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