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If you can be anything, be kind....

279 replies

BeAnythingBeKind · 16/02/2020 20:52

Its such a simple thing, and can make all the difference.

We are all guilty of it, me included, So instead of making negative comments about the work colleagues, fellow school mum's, stranger on the bus...Say something kind, you never know, it could just make all the difference. No-one really knows what people are going through.

Anyone who wants to vent/talk/cry....Please feel free to let rip here, It's OK not to feel OK

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Whyhaveidonethis · 16/02/2020 21:05

I have been practicing this recently. With my children too. Some days it is hard as it's difficult to be kind when someone appears to be acting like a complete twat. I find I feel bad more now though when I missed an opportunity to be kind, but at least I'm trying.

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sockittome123 · 16/02/2020 21:09

Last time I saw a thread like this, it was inundated with Hmm faces and sarky comments... but I think it's very important and very true.

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KirstyHasLeft · 16/02/2020 21:13

I agree.
It came to me with age and experience - the importance of being kind. I'm quite rubbish at it as I am introvert and avoid human interaction when possible :) But when I can, I try my best.
Now I am watching my 10 yo DS being kind and compassionate and my heart is bursting with pride.

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Livelovebehappy · 16/02/2020 21:41

I think you’re either kind by nature, or unkind. It’s an inbuilt thing. I’ve yet to meet someone who I thought mean and unkind turn into a kind and thoughtful person., and vice versa. I also think if someone I perceived to be not nice suddenly started behaving better, I would think it fake.

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BeAnythingBeKind · 16/02/2020 21:48

@Whyhaveidonethis Well done on trying especially with the..ahem..difficult ones.

@sockittome123 It is important, and its a shame that a tragedy has to happen to make people realise.

@kirstyhasleft Its lovely to hear your DS is starting young.

@livelovebehappy I think you are right, however, its never to late to change...is it?

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ClementineWardobe · 16/02/2020 21:52

Yup, kindness is the single most important and most underrated virtue I believe.

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ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 16/02/2020 21:58

I do want to be kind and I really do try....however I also really love having a good bitch now and again usually with dsis about people we know and about people in the public eye/politics with dh. Does it count if you are only nasty in private?Grin

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bingbangbing · 16/02/2020 22:00

God I hate that fucking meme

It's not going to turn twats into decent people

They might try to look like a kind person for a day or two.

Twats will still be twats

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Sally872 · 16/02/2020 22:02

Include being kind to yourself, usually we are our own harshest critics.

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lunar1 · 16/02/2020 22:06

I completely agree with the sentiment. But everyone should take five minutes to look at their social media. The majority of people on mine who have repeated it are absolute assholes most of the time.

Judge people by their actions, not their ability to preach via memes.

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Notimeforaname · 16/02/2020 22:07

Agree. It cost nothing to be kind.
Just some understanding and extra care and consideration.

Agree with PP who said its the single most important and underrated virtue

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MouthBreathingRage · 16/02/2020 22:10

It's not going to turn twats into decent people

I completely agree. Kindness isn't something to be forced out of people, sometimes we are, sometimes we are not. We're just human and we will behave in all manner of ways.

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BeAnythingBeKind · 16/02/2020 22:19

So it won't turn twats into decent people, that's fine, But, there is no harm in trying. Instead of going straight for the negative in people, think of a positive first. There is always something nice to say about people, nice coat, good at making a cup of tea, whatever it is. Just because they are twats, doesn't mean you have to be one too.

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Colabottles64 · 16/02/2020 22:20

So many people are so unnecessarily, casually cruel these days online. Just go over to the sussexroyal insta account and ready the comments on their latest post. It turns my stomach.

Kindness is the one value I want my children to cherish above all others. I feel in real life people and more likely to be kind, but something about online anonymity seems to amplify and embolden cruel, hateful voices and quickly turn a crowd of onlookers into a mob.

Today I don’t feel ok about this - cruelty online, in all its forms. Hateful comments. Bullying. Revenge porn. Shaming. Trial by social media. We all make mistakes; how lucky I feel that I made many of mine in a world where they weren’t documented and shared.

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Notimeforaname · 16/02/2020 22:25

Well said Colabottles!

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icecreamscoops · 16/02/2020 22:26

How ro be kind to someone you know who hasn't treated a mutual friend well. Someone who has shown narcissistic traits and is now plastering the be kind message all over her social media when she has practically emotionally abused others? What do we do in that situation? I want to be kind but the hypocrisy is astounding!

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BeAnythingBeKind · 16/02/2020 22:26

@Colabottles64 Everything you have said is so true, I wish people would think for a second about how their words affect people, It could turn someone's day around.

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BeAnythingBeKind · 16/02/2020 22:30

@icecreamscoops You make a good point, it is hard, maybe impossible, to be kind to people who are not nice people. Erase them from your life like they never existed, don't speak about them, act like you never even knew them...Not saying kind things, but not being nasty either, People like that don't deserve to be spoken about...Good or bad.

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ItsGoingTibiaK · 16/02/2020 22:32

But what does ‘being kind’ mean? Ignoring the vile and cruel acts people may have done and seeing only the good? Quashing our own hurt, pain and anger for the sake of those that may have caused it? Letting those who we vehemently disagree with go unchecked and unchallenged?

What, in practice, does ‘being kind’ actually look like?

And does it apply to all? Because, for example, I’m seeing a lot of double standards at the moment of people trotting out ‘be kind’ in one breath and absolutely laying into the tabloid press (which is, of course, made up of real people with real feelings) in the next.

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Sadie789 · 16/02/2020 22:35

I think most decent people already know to be nice to other people in their day to day dealings, and don’t need a thousand sanctimonious memes thrown their way to be reminded.

And I think the kind of people who are nasty trolls on social media are always going to be nasty trolls and no amount of sanctimonious memeing is going to change that.

I also don’t believe one thing propels a person to take such drastic action as to take their own lives, it’s a perfect storm which has generally been brewing for a long, long time and is made up of many complex elements. So I think it’s simplistic to believe that someone being kind is going to change the course of that particular ocean going liner... not to say we shouldn’t be kind, but just that it’s not really about being kind in the end.

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LordsALeaping · 16/02/2020 22:37

I agree, @ItsGoingTibiaK. A cursory glance at Mn shows you the longterm effects of women suppressing their own feelings, cantering around catering to the whims of others, and putting their own needs last, often under the impression that they are ‘being kind’ to others.

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MouthBreathingRage · 16/02/2020 22:38

Ignoring the vile and cruel acts people may have done and seeing only the good?

Indeed. There’s a risk of martyrdom going on the last couple of days, and a lot of it stemming from this ‘kindness’ idealism being peddled like it’s the word of Jesus himself. No one seems to see the irony of the origin.

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LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 16/02/2020 22:42

If only life was as simple as a meme. I get your point op but most people just scroll on. Kind is a quality you have or you don't and yes people do change but I honestly don't think the fb and Twitter 'life lessons' have any substance. If you are being more understanding of others, great but lots of people are kind already without the Twitter sermon. It's a shame people have to be taught this Confused it's a depressing world we are living in. Everything is reduced.

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PhoneTwattery · 16/02/2020 22:42

I don’t think I’m a twat but I could certainly be more mindful

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BeAnythingBeKind · 16/02/2020 22:47

But you don't have to be fake and over the top, Just stop and think before you speak, how would you feel if what you are saying to/about someone was said about you? There are people out there who I hate and I would struggle to find something positive about them, and those people don't matter in my life anymore, so, although I'm not going to be kind towards them, I am not going to be mean either. Sure, Ive had a good bitch fest with my bestie, but, now, i'm going to at least try and be kind, and, with fear of being flamed - If I havnt got anything nice to say, then Im not going to say anything at all, and maybe, just maybe, it will make someone a little happier that day.

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