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My SIL (soon to be ex-SIL) has gone batshit crazy over my gift of a fitbit to her 10 year old DS

(243 Posts)
fitbitcrazy Thu 13-Feb-20 22:07:03

So it was my nephew’s 10th birthday and I gave him a fitbit which he absolutely loves - in fact his older brother who turns 11 shortly has asked for one too. The problem is his mum (my SIL soon about to be ex-SIL) has gone batshit crazy and said that it was a ridiculous gift to give a child. Apparently she is going to have words with me....AIBU to have given this gift? (just to add my nephews are both fit and active boys). I am totally perplexed as to what her issue is.

Beldon Thu 13-Feb-20 22:09:39

It’s something I would ask the parent about before giving. My son loved his but I can imagine some children could get obsessed in a negative way, especially about calories

Beldon Thu 13-Feb-20 22:11:06

Not worth a ‘bat shit crazy’ response though, I think that may be in response to you soon becoming ex SIL rather than concern about the gift

lemontreebird Thu 13-Feb-20 22:11:45

Thinks of it as an adult gift?

gonerogue Thu 13-Feb-20 22:11:57

My 9 and 8 year olds have fitbits - they love them. They use them to have competitions about who has the most steps in a day - but mainly to tell the time when they are out on the estate playing and need to come back by a certain time.

It does seem like a massive overreaction

aroundtheworldyet Thu 13-Feb-20 22:12:20

Yeah bad move on your part
You really ask about that type of present! I can’t believe you would think it was ok for everyone. Totally fine if the parent ok’s it. Not otherwise

Iggly Thu 13-Feb-20 22:13:49

Maybe it’s the cost? Personally I agree - we got ds a cheap version instead and I’m glad I did as he’s not bothered 6 months later!

mealychump Thu 13-Feb-20 22:13:58

I wouldn't want my son having one.

They are expensive and easily lost. Most schools won't allow them.

I wouldn't want my kids obsessing over how many steps etc they have done. They are unnecessary for children.

Not sure I'd get angry but I wouldn't like it.

SallyWD Thu 13-Feb-20 22:15:15

My DD is 9 and most of her class have Fitbits - well most have the cheaper versions. I don't see what the problem is.

MindyStClaire Thu 13-Feb-20 22:17:31

I wouldn't want my kids obsessing over how many steps etc they have done. They are unnecessary for children.

This. I don't think it's a particularly healthy attitude for children, especially those who are already active. I wouldn't be pleased if someone bought one for my DC without checking with me or DH.

lulufufu Thu 13-Feb-20 22:22:34

Lovely gift. My 3 sporty boys all have them. They love competing for steps.

OxOwl2 Thu 13-Feb-20 22:23:45

Is your SIL the type who is against screen time etc? Was very precious about routines when your nephews were younger etc? I am quite fed up with how ungrateful people are towards presents these days. It is no longer about the "giver" and how generous you are, but all about if it is convenient for the receiver/exactly what they wanted/not too much clutter etc.. such ungratefulness- yet equally it is unacceptable to ask/make a gift list. In my son's year, all the kids want fitbits, it is a fad. In my DD's year it is Apple iwatches (quite a few very spoiled children).

Cremebrule Thu 13-Feb-20 22:30:11

I think you should have asked her first. I have bought a Fitbit but checked first. For some children, it would be inappropriate.

1Morewineplease Thu 13-Feb-20 22:31:51

It’s an over the top gift, particularly as the older brother doesn’t have one.
Why didn’t you give one to his older brother?
Your ‘ soon to be ex in law’ is right to be fuming.
She has been left to explain the anomaly in your gift. Children shouldn’t be given gifts that might give them neuroses over their health. What if they see an anomalous reading?
Bloody hell OP.. bad move.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut Thu 13-Feb-20 22:32:55

I wouldn’t like it either but I wouldn’t go tits mental about it.

fitbitcrazy Thu 13-Feb-20 22:36:18

Interesting responses. Perhaps I shouldn’t have given his birthday any thought and instead given a voucher or the like. I don’t have children myself and hadn’t realised that fitbits were so popular with kids. I chose it because last year he was desperate for a watch and so I thought it would be fun for him to have this and the steps to go with it. Never occurred to me that it would be viewed so negatively by his mother.

To be honest, as I said, I don’t have kids myself and so I can’t really judge her parenting but it’s never struck me that she’s overly cautious about their screen time etc. The older nephew is getting a smart phone from her for his birthday and the two boys are clubbing together with birthday/xmas money to buy themselves a playstation - which she’s happy for them to do.

All seems a bit mad to me - and yes, in a way, I feel hurt that she’s taken it so ungratefully. Can’t win, voucher it will be now onwards - it’s just not worth the bother.

Although I did love watching his pure delight and happiness as he unwrapped his present.

fitbitcrazy Thu 13-Feb-20 22:38:31

Just to add - why didn’t I give one to his older brother? Because he’s not had his birthday yet. It’s in 2 weeks time and I would happily give him one too but now I’m thinking twice.

Why should the price of the gift matter? I have the money, I’m happy to spend it on them - and in the past she has been happy for me to take them for days out and spend money on them. But on this she isn’t. As I said, can’t win.

Rosspoldarkssaddle Thu 13-Feb-20 22:44:43

These children have a father so his opinion counts too. If he wants a Fitbit and you want to buy it, get it.
If she has something to say, she knows where you are and could have said something to you immediately.
Who told you she wants a word about it? If she hasn't made contact within a week of the gift giving, uh oh....too late.

PyongyangKipperbang Thu 13-Feb-20 22:45:44

Could it be that your gift outshone hers somehow (either in reality or in her perception) so his delight as he unwrapped it took the shine off the gift she gave him?

Sounds to me like this isnt about a fitbit at all.

FWIW I would get the same for his brother but message your SIL (AFTER you have given it) saying you had planned to do that all along, and didnt want to disappoint the brother, but will go with vouchers in future.

AdultHumanFemale Thu 13-Feb-20 22:45:53

Oh boy, the girls in DC1's (aged 9) class have them, and apparently they are 'step-shaming' each other, and saying things in the lunch hall like "Well, after those crisps, you're going to need to do a couple of laps of the field / another 2000 steps...", "That's a 2000-step sandwich!" and "Lucky you to live in such-and-such a road, you must do loads of steps to get to school." Mine are not getting one. I have mentioned it to their teacher, but DC1 says they're so small the girls just smuggle them in anyway.

GreyHare Thu 13-Feb-20 22:52:52

Yeah I don't think I would be happy, my niece has one and has been suffering anxiety and the fit bit has made it worse as she constantly checks her heart rate and then gets in a vicious cycle of panicking over racing heart rate which then makes her heart race, I think they are awful things.

Onceuponatimethen Thu 13-Feb-20 22:58:03

I wouldn’t give one without asking the parent

Prepenultimate Thu 13-Feb-20 22:59:59

I think it sounds like a suitable and generous present. My DSs would have been thrilled at that age.Is she really annoyed about the break up and is lashing out at the wrong person???

workingtowards Thu 13-Feb-20 23:02:55

As the mother of an anorexic 16 year old child, I really want to wave a massive red flag. It might seem that you are encouraging healthy behaviour, but children are being tipped over into neurosis by these apps. I don’t want any other family to go through what we have.

Harakeke Thu 13-Feb-20 23:05:35

I think it’s an awesome gift but I would check with the parent first.

But even if it was unsuitable (in the mums eyes) a “batshit crazy” response is really disproportionate.

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