Hi,
my sister pointed me to this forum so I hope it ok to write here.
here goes, I am a single mum to a 15mo girl, me and her dad (james)separated before she was born but we get on great, hes an amazing dad and is really supportive to me. we often do things together when hes around because he works away a lot amd seeing the baby is a priority wit him.
recently I started chatting to a guy I met ona night out. hes really nice, he has no problems with me gushing about the baby and is understanding that I cant drop everything and see him. im busy a lot with university and the baby so we haven't seen eachother much but we talk every day. ill call him jon
anyway. that's the background.
earlier this week *jon messaged me and said he would like to take me out on valentines night. I said that's really nice and would see if James would take the baby overnight if hes free. I texted James and he said he had made plans with thegirl hes seeing so I messaged jon right back and explained. Jon seemed ok but then he asked what i was doing in the day and I told him I was spending it with james.
fwiw this has been planned since before I knew jon and its not romantic at all, we just do things like this with the baby becaue its nice, he is bringing his older daughter and we are going to lunch and then soft play or swimming.
after that he finished the conversation pretty quickly and then didn't message me back the rest of the day. I called him out on it the next day because instead of the usual 10/15 messages he had only replied to one with K. totally unlike him.
after a bit of poking he admitted that he thinks its weird that im spending the day with my ex and that he doesn't think im interested in him. I told him I really am and he said im always busy and making excuses to see him (im studying really hard at the moment too!!!) and that hes nt going to pursue someone who doesn't feel the same. he also said he doesn't know anyone who sees their xes the way I do and that he didn't comment on it before but that hes developed feelings for me now and thinks I probably just wan to get back with james.
Im really upset about this but at the same time im actually really annoyed hes said this to me. weve only seen eachother a couple of times, haven't slept together and he knew I was busy from the beginning, im also not going to push my daughters dad away because of jealous men, that's what james ex has done, and did to me throughout our relationship she caused trouble bbecause she was jealous of me, and it really hurts him.
I asked a couple of my friends but none of them have kids yet so don't really think its weird but my sister and mum both say it IS weird and that I should be putting myself and this guy first if I like him.
im so lost. I don't know whether im being an awful person or im just weird?
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me, my ex and a new man?
149 replies
Limbicsystem · 09/02/2020 20:19
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