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Sorry, another Philip Schofield one...

(1000 Posts)
UnaCorda Sat 08-Feb-20 20:20:43

I really couldn't care less about Philip Schofield's sexuality (or anyone else's) and good for him for finally being true to himself. But what makes me quite cross is all this talk of honesty and bravery, and the self-indulgent, tortured confessional in front of the nation when really it's of no importance to anyone who doesn't know him personally.

In the clip of his chat with Holly he asks repeatedly, "When is the right time?" In my opinion, the right time is before you get married to someone who believes you are straight. It's not brave, or honest, to make someone unwittingly provide you with the benefits of a heterosexual relationship, including children, so you can be viewed by the public as a "respectable family man". It's actually rather selfish.

I had a brief relationship with someone who I later discovered was gay. He didn't even have the balls to tell me directly, and it seriously screwed me up for a long time. I can't imagine what it must be like to find out your husband of 27 years is homosexual.

I'm not gay, so perhaps I am being unreasonable as I don't know what it is like to come out to friends and family (although I imagine it is easier now than it was thirty years ago) and I don't know whether PS really believed that he was in love with his wife when they got married. But I do think that leaving a duplicitous life which affects other people is not a kind or honourable thing to do and I feel very sorry for his wife and daughters who I think really have been brave.

Queenundercanvas Sat 08-Feb-20 20:23:07

Totally agree. I couldn't care less about him or his sexuality. It really should be of no consequence to the general public.

But all this talk of how brave and wonderful he is makes me want to vom.

crispysausagerolls Sat 08-Feb-20 20:23:32

YANBU

CameronG Sat 08-Feb-20 20:24:15

Yup. This.

HandsOffMyLangCleg Sat 08-Feb-20 20:24:15

Completely agree.
This is all about the man as usual.

Onemorecrisp Sat 08-Feb-20 20:24:40

I agree. Would it be fine if hollys husband did the same ? Thought not.

PumpkinP Sat 08-Feb-20 20:24:58

I agree with you

BiscuitBarrels Sat 08-Feb-20 20:25:47

I think that - having known someone who had a heterosexual marriage including a child - the realisation, or admission, (I can’t quite remember the terminology that she used) to yourself that you’re gay can be a very slow growing flower for some people, and not necessarily the fully formed knowledge that a lot of people have.

I’m loathe to judge, purely for the reason that he himself hasn’t specifically said and his wife hasn’t said a word either.

BoneAppleTeaa Sat 08-Feb-20 20:26:03

Agreed.

CherryPavlova Sat 08-Feb-20 20:27:58

I agree. I couldn’t care less how he lives his life. His sexuality is of no import.
He chose to marry someone and betray them from the very beginning. He chose to make vows he couldn’t uphold. He has been deceitful and hurt his family enormously. The time for honesty was a whole lot earlier than middle age.
I wouldn’t be lauding him.

PurpleSproutingSomething Sat 08-Feb-20 20:29:00

I would be extremely surprised if his wife and family didn't know. I imagine there was an arrangement.

My theory is that someone was going to out him, he seems to have been in the gossip news the past few weeks and he's just beaten them to it.

But it's definitely his wife and kids I feel for, because even if they did know it must be awful for them to have it thrown into the public arena with every inch of the internet wondering about your life.

Highonpotandused Sat 08-Feb-20 20:29:08

What a nob. I bet this is related to his colleagues accusing him of bullying. Boo hoo.

Whatsername177 Sat 08-Feb-20 20:29:37

Absolutely. He is gay, there is no issue with that. But I feel so sorry for his wife. I cant imagine how awful it must be for her hearing him being applauded when, in fact, he has deceived her. If he'd left her for a younger woman, there would be so much support for her. But, all any one can talk about is him being so brave.

BiscuitBarrels Sat 08-Feb-20 20:30:42

Basically, it’s undoubtedly shit for her, and I feel for her enormously, but I also don’t think it’s always as straightforward as “I know I’m gay but, fuck it, I’m going to have a straight relationship anyway”. It could be, but PS hasn’t specifically said, and his wife has said nothing. So I’m sticking to ‘this kind of thing can be really, really bloody complicated’.

Bunnybigears Sat 08-Feb-20 20:30:44

It is brave to come out as gay if you live in a country where being gay is illegal. Coming out as gay when the repercussions will be exactly 0 and all your loved ones already know is not brave. The way he did it was self indulgent.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Sat 08-Feb-20 20:30:45

He's a media whore.

For a start, it seems that everyone knew he was gay before the 'announcement', so why bother.

Secondly, it's 2020. Being gay is no longer taboo or frowned upon. It's just life.

Either someone was gojng to 'out' him or he's after some extra attention. I noticed him on a really tacky advert and thought then his career was winding down.

Seems weird to anounce it now. Out of the blue.

HmmIsThisAGoodIdea Sat 08-Feb-20 20:31:01

My friend is going through the exact same thing at the moment. They even have three children together. He's known since he was 8 and yet never thought to tell her! It's ripped the whole family apart. Selfish doesn't even begin to cover it.

All of the ridiculous comments they read out on air basically making him out to be a hero and saying he should be celebrated are absolutely out of their minds. If someone posted on here their DH had left them because they fancy someone else would we be cheering them on saying how wonderful it is the DH is being true to themselves and can go on to live the happy life they deserve? Of course not! I don't see why this is any different just because he's gay.

He's just a selfish, deceitful prick.

smashstore Sat 08-Feb-20 20:31:29

In the clip of his chat with Holly he asks repeatedly, "When is the right time?" In my opinion, the right time is before you get married to someone who believes you are straight

Simplistically, yes. There is so much more to realising, accepting and coming out though.

FizzyGreenWater Sat 08-Feb-20 20:32:18

Yes, he really is enjoying himself isn't he.

From the tips of his tortured little pinkies to the ends of his brave little toes!

Nursejackie1 Sat 08-Feb-20 20:32:51

Totally agree. I also think he was about to be outed. Plus lots about him being a nightmare to work with etc recently, so a bit of sympathy for his amazing bravery from the oh so caring public won’t do him any harm.

Kirkman Sat 08-Feb-20 20:33:18

It's been an open secret for a good while.

I'm all likelihood she has known for a long time and chose to stay for her own reasons.

Yabu, because you have no idea what's gone on, how long he has known, how long she has known or how the realisation came.

She very well may be devastated and in a bad way. She may not be.

I dont understand being annoyed on her behalf.

CSIblonde Sat 08-Feb-20 20:34:26

I think his wife must feel very used by him to conform to what he thought would be the best image career wise. It's odd he waited this long, his daughters are mid twenties. If it was for his kids sake logically I'd think once they were leaving home or 18 ish would be the logical time. He was probably told someone was going to out him, so got in first is my take. Or it's a cynical attempt to get popularity back after Ruth Gate.

Burlea Sat 08-Feb-20 20:34:59

Is he gay or bi-sexual. Why did he need to announce it to the nation. I couldn't care less about his private life or anyone elses, just present the program.

ironicname Sat 08-Feb-20 20:35:40

Op- I couldn't agree more.

UnaCorda Sat 08-Feb-20 20:36:41

Basically, it’s undoubtedly shit for her, and I feel for her enormously, but I also don’t think it’s always as straightforward as “I know I’m gay but, fuck it, I’m going to have a straight relationship anyway”. It could be, but PS hasn’t specifically said, and his wife has said nothing. So I’m sticking to ‘this kind of thing can be really, really bloody complicated’.

That makes sense. Although of course PS was never going to say, "I've always known I'm gay, but I just used my wife so I could have the sort of life I thought would be beneficial and would make me look good."

All the gay men I've been close enough to to ask have said they've always known, but none of them ever had a serious relationship with a woman. I'm really not sure if it's possible to genuinely not know you are gay - or, to put it another way, to genuinely think you are straight.

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