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My manager just sent me a ridiculous email!

(218 Posts)
ItalianinLondon Tue 28-Jan-20 21:25:23

I've been off work sick for the last 3 weeks on my GP's insistence (I have lupus and had some viral things going on and GP said not taking time off would be a bad idea).

My line manager has been calling me at various points during this period and, to not make the story overly lengthy, called (from a blocked number) on Friday evening and I couldn't hear anything wheni picked up, assumed it was a cold call and hung up.

She then sent me an email yesterday accusing me of childish and insulting behaviour, because I'd clearly, quote, stuffed the phone under a pillow and pretended I couldn't hear when I realised it was her.

Obviously it is not something I would do, however tempting it might be... so I denied it, and we got into a bit of a back and forward by email.

I said it was a very insulting allegation and that she should apologise, to which I got:

"As for pretending that you couldn’t hear me on the phone, I know what I heard, and I was convinced that you answered and then made a pretence. I was shocked beyond measure that a colleague could behave like that. It embarrasses me to talk or think about it."

Although she has clearly managed to talk and think about it quite a lot...

Anyway, I contacted HR today and said I found it really weird for her to make totally demented accusations about me (paraphrase). They were clearly quite shocked when I said what was in the email and asked me to forward the emails.

Should I do it?? Without her consent? I hate to make a big fuss, and my bad temper has simmered down now, but seriously, I think she has gone a bit crazy over this and it is kind of concerning!

BiscuitBarrels Tue 28-Jan-20 21:26:58

They asked for them. Send them. Her consent is irrelevant.

GetUpAgain Tue 28-Jan-20 21:27:23

Of course forward them. She is a terrible manager and clearly needs retraining/sacking. I hope you feel better soon, lupus is horrible. flowers

DonnaDarko Tue 28-Jan-20 21:27:44

You don't need her consent. She sounds horrible.

iamkahleesi Tue 28-Jan-20 21:27:53

Yes, absolutely forward it. It's HRs job to deal with exactly that type of thing. Besides, if you don't it may then look like you were making up allegations against your manager.

TopOftheNaughtyList Tue 28-Jan-20 21:28:31

Absolutely forward them on. Firstly the manager shouldn't keep contacting you while you're signed off and to then make these absurd allegations is not on. Send them on without hesitation, I would.

WisestIsShe Tue 28-Jan-20 21:30:13

Of course you should forward it.

Namechanger001 Tue 28-Jan-20 21:30:42

I’d send the e-mails and let HR deal with her. Can I ask-is it normal for a manager to call you when on the sick? In my workplace it is seen as harassment to be called by management when ill. I thought that is why we ring into work as we can call when we are mentally ready and if anyone needs to get in touch then it is HR who would do the contacting. Perhaps that is just where I work.

DesLynamsMoustache Tue 28-Jan-20 21:30:51

Wow, she's bonkers! Definitely forward them.

RalphWiggumsWedgie Tue 28-Jan-20 21:31:41

Forward the mails. Totally out of order for her to be hassling you when you are off sick.

Rosecottage888 Tue 28-Jan-20 21:32:14

Absolutely send them!

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 28-Jan-20 21:32:24

What is her problem? She’s unhealthily fixating and speculating. But not your problem! You have to send the emails.

Scarydinosaurs Tue 28-Jan-20 21:32:25

Absolutely send them! If you don’t she’ll just deny ever writing them.

ArchMemory Tue 28-Jan-20 21:32:34

They’ve asked for them so you should forward them. You can put in the covering email that you feel a bit uncomfortable but you were explicitly asked.

The thing is, you contacted HR, what did you expect you happen?

BitOfFun Tue 28-Jan-20 21:32:38

Of course you should forward them!

Doyoumind Tue 28-Jan-20 21:32:58

She shouldn't be contacting you anyway and hr need to tell her to stop.

HappyHammy Tue 28-Jan-20 21:33:04

Yes send it, stupid behaviour from a manager. Hope you feel better soon.

EarringsandLipstick Tue 28-Jan-20 21:34:01

Adding my voice to say 'forward'

She's in a world of trouble. I can't believe any manager would behave like this - she totally needs dealing with by HR.

BodenGate Tue 28-Jan-20 21:34:05

100% send them!

OhNoMyCheds Tue 28-Jan-20 21:34:08

Send the emails to HR. She has done herself any favours. Sounds like she was on mute when she phoned you. What a nutcase.

Hellbentwellwent Tue 28-Jan-20 21:35:01

Batshit, what’s she doing calling you on a Friday evening anyway? Surely she should call during standard working hours, ie 9-5, and as for calling from a blocked number, unless you’re place of work has a switch board that comes up as unknown number then she’s being fucking weird and I’d argue that her behaviour is bordering on harassment.

Topseyt Tue 28-Jan-20 21:35:09

Absolutely you should forward HR the email. Sod what she thinks, or her permission!

UnaCorda Tue 28-Jan-20 21:35:27

Eh? What an utterly ludicrous accusation.

If you're going to ignore a phone call the obvious thing to do would be not to answer it - easy to find an excuse such as being asleep / phone on silent as you were resting, etc. Why on earth does she think you would answer it and then pretend not to be able to hear the caller?

ItalianinLondon Tue 28-Jan-20 21:37:34

Thank you! I was wondering if I'd lost all sense of perspective... but seriously, it seems to me a bit unhinged!

And just to say, I'm not a particularly avoidant person and there's nothing in our past interactions that could lead her to believe I'd behave like this.

PeppermintPasty Tue 28-Jan-20 21:37:42

Definitely send them, I am aghast that she did that to you! If HR have any sense, they will be horrified too.

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