I have two sons, aged 5 and 14 months. I love them dearly and before they arrived I would say I was happily married. I still love my husband but we lead different lives. He's out at work all day, my life revolves around the boys. I'm tired, I feel like I had a previous life. I don't really take care of myself any more like I used to, I have nothing to say to DH when he comes home, I feel I lead a boring, lonely life. I don't feel attractive anymore. I don't go out and socialise much. My confidence has gone.
I work part-time, and I do all the running around in the morning to get the kids fed/dressed/dropped off. DH works some way away so he's up and out really early. I often don't eat breakfast, I rush to get myself into the office on time. Feel like I've done a day's work already by the time I get there.
Don't feel valued by anyone anymore. I often feel I don't know who I am. I'm looking for validation, have found that if someone says something nice to me at work I'm overcome with delight and get attached to them.
I do still love DH but the reality is my life has changed completely after having kids, his hasn't. He's continued with his career, his routine. I have become an exhausted, lonely servant who basically just scurries around all day looking after the kids and cleaning house. I feel de-valued in my job, I've been there ages and whilst it's been a steady earner whilst I've had the family there's no progression for me. It sucks, I'm not happy anymore.
And, yet I appreciate the kids so much, they're happy and healthy and they have become my world. But there's nothing left for me and this makes me sad and frustrated. I also feel like a terrible mother and wife for thinking like this. AIBU?
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AIBU?
I feel like a terrible mother and a terrible wife
71 replies
Watershed1 · 28/01/2020 13:22
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