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...to report a mum to SS for being a prostitute?

(197 Posts)
ToBeASnitchOrNot Sun 26-Jan-20 13:43:54

Would you?

Shes admitted to me shes a prostitute. Sleeps with men for either money, jobs around the house or lifts. Laughed about it, has no shame about it, thinks nothing of it.

Known to me as my DC is friends with hers. We live in the same street. Her DC is only young and frequently left with irresponsible teen siblings while shes out with men. Or when she has her clients round at hers, which is very frequently, she sometimes sends the younger one round to us. She doesn't openly say to us shes sending DC to us because she is 'working' but we see the various different cars on her drive and put 2 and 2 together. But sometimes he doesn't want to stay at our place and goes home, where I assume he's left to his own devices. He gets upset if I try to get him to stay with us.

We've noticed shes also taken on a new client who is a neighbour. Again, shes not told us, but she never used to even say hi to this guy, but now shes started going round to his, curtains are drawn and she reappears an hour or so later. During one of these times her young DC walked round to us wearing only a pair of dirty tracksuit bottoms. Winter, raining, cold but no shoes top or coat.

In addition to this her house is filthy, she often looks like shes on drugs (unsteady on her feet, glazed eyes, a general 'away with the fairies' manner, the kid is rarely properly dressed or clean, and is rarely at school.

Shes been reported to SS before by a fellow concerned neighbour but she took off for 2 months to another country where her mum lives to escape it.

I feel I SHOULD back up other neighbour and report her as I'm concerned for the welfare of the young DC. But another part of me hates the whole 'snitching' side of it. When all is said and done, if SS have already been notified, and they've done nothing, should I really stick my beak in? Maybe they feel her DC is safe enough? Is it really my place?

But I'm worried her DC is left vulnerable and seeing/hearing more than they should and being neglected in terms of a proper stable home life, education etc.

WWYD?

alittlechangeofname Sun 26-Jan-20 13:46:09

I’d report, if there’s nothing in it nothing will come of it. But if you’re right, this is no way for a child to live. How old is the DC?

morrisseysquif Sun 26-Jan-20 13:46:32

Report if you think a child is being neglected, or in danger, or being abused or potential to be abused.

millymollymoomoo Sun 26-Jan-20 13:46:37

I wouldn’t report someone just for being a prostitute as that’s simply making a judgement on someone
However if you believe there is neglect and the children are at risk in some way then report for that

Brazi103 Sun 26-Jan-20 13:46:43

I would happily be a snitch if it meant I was doing something about a childs safety and neglectful environment. Report her, flagging it up with SS again may cause them to do more if they receive another concern.n

Paperyfish Sun 26-Jan-20 13:46:49

I wouldn’t reporter for being a sex worker. I would report for neglect/ the filthy house, lack of appropriate supervision and clothing, filthy house and not attending school.

PumpkinP Sun 26-Jan-20 13:48:40

I would report.

gamerchick Sun 26-Jan-20 13:49:37

We all have a responsibility to the children if we can help them. They're vulnerable and putting what she does aside, it doesn't sound as if she's coping appropriately. You're seeing visible neglect. What are you not seeing?

Bring her job into it together with her general state, then you don't know who her kids are being exposed to and what might be happening to them.

Personally I'd go to the school and trigger safeguarding.

MerryInthechelseahotel Sun 26-Jan-20 13:50:46

* In addition to this her house is filthy, she often looks like shes on drugs (unsteady on her feet, glazed eyes, a general 'away with the fairies' manner, the kid is rarely properly dressed or clean, and is rarely at school.* if it's as you say then there is no way school wouldn't have picked up on this but you could speak to them or report to ss. If it's truly as you say then why would you hesitate?

MrsSpenserGregson Sun 26-Jan-20 13:51:03

Report - not because she's a sex worker (there but for the grace of God) but because the child is being neglected. The mum needs help to manage her life in a way in which the child is looked after properly.

goldenorbspider Sun 26-Jan-20 13:51:46

I wouldn't report someone for being a prostitute, id look out for the safety and keep judgements to myself. However, if I have concerns about child's welfare I'd speak up

Pantheon Sun 26-Jan-20 13:52:16

What @Paperyfish said. Not the sex work but the neglect.

1happyhippie Sun 26-Jan-20 13:52:52

I wouldn’t report someone solely for being a prostitute. Don’t think that’s right.
However, if you feel the child is neglected, being put in danger etc that’s different.
How old is the child op?

MatildaTheCat Sun 26-Jan-20 13:53:32

You wouldn’t be reporting her. You’d be reporting your concerns. Which sound perfectly valid.

So yes, you should.

ToBeASnitchOrNot Sun 26-Jan-20 13:55:27

wouldn’t reporter for being a sex worker

Agree, how she makes her living is entirely her personal choice. I would never report her simply for this. It's the 7 yr olds welfare I care about. Her life is very chaotic, extremely dysfunctional and these and I really don't feel it's the right environment or upbringing. If 7 yr old is not attending school regularly, is unclean, smelly, rarely dressed adequately, left regularly without proper supervision or is around when her clients visit, it just makes me worry for him.

On a personal level I speak with her in a friendly neighbourly way, we chat, I've borrowed her money, given lifts in emergencies, given food/drink when shes been short etc. I dont hate her or want to make her life difficult. Shes a single mum and I understand how hard that must be.

But then there's always this nagging worry about the 7 yr old.

TossACoinToYourWitcher Sun 26-Jan-20 13:56:41

Take out the sex worker issue for a minute and imagine that you don't know what her job is. Would you consider reporting based on the other factors, such as the children's hygiene, the general neglect and missing school? I suspect the answer would be yes.

xsquared Sun 26-Jan-20 13:58:09

I'd report as a safeguarding measure for her dc. Really sorry to hear this.

kalinkafoxtrot45 Sun 26-Jan-20 14:00:35

I would report as her child is being neglected.

GreenTulips Sun 26-Jan-20 14:00:55

It’s not snitching is it?
We should be concerned for children’s welfare and it should be reported.

I would speak to school in the first place and let them notify SS as they will have a working relationship already. And the school may already have them on file.

SS would call school first anyway.

Emilizz34 Sun 26-Jan-20 14:03:52

I wouldn’t report someone just for being a sex worker . However I would report any case of suspected child neglect . It sounds very much that this applies in this case

isitpossibleto Sun 26-Jan-20 14:04:56

I wouldn’t report her for being a prostitute - I EOUPD report her god carrying out her work in her own home with children present along with the obvious ongoing neglect

CakeandCustard28 Sun 26-Jan-20 14:07:33

She’s neglecting the child massively. Poor thing. sad Report her you don’t need to mention being a sex worker if you don’t want too.

WorraLiberty Sun 26-Jan-20 14:08:05

So, very long story short, you're asking if you should tell SS you think a child is being neglected?

Isn't that why SS exist? confused

ImNotACuntYoureACunt Sun 26-Jan-20 14:08:18

2 things: it’s not snitching to report concerns about a child’s welfare and surely its more important to focus on the child apparently being neglected than the fact this woman is apparently a sex worker.

DoIStayOrDoIGoNow Sun 26-Jan-20 14:08:32

I hate the term ‘snitching’! Yes you should call! What you’ve described is neglect and if that’s what you’re seeing you can guarantee it’ll be worse behind closed doors. SS aren’t an evil monster there to steal children, they’re there to protect them, and it has to be bloody bad for them to actually step in and do something. All you have to do is give them a call, they’ll check the kids ok. If he’s not then they’ll help, if he is, they’ll leave it alone. Better to check than to know there’s a problem and ignore it because you don’t want to feel like a ‘snitch’

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