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AIBU?

Are the police being U?

101 replies

WeHaveSnowdrops · 24/01/2020 12:02

Friend "Em" witnessed a crime earlier this week. She gave her name and address to the police and said she'd be prepared to make a statement. They said they'd call round in the next few days. She said to phone first as she has a young family and would need to time it around school hours.

5 to 3 yesterday a knock on her door and two PCs wanted to take her statement. She explained they should have phoned first because she was on her way to collect her DS from school so it wasn't convenient.

The female PC apologised but the male said they could insist. And made as if to go in through the door. She told him to back off as she was not leaving her child with no one to collect him and to phone for a more convenient time. And she shut the door in their faces.

She put her coat on and her youngest in the pushchair and went down to the school. The police car followed her. Once she was there it drove off but they were obviously making sure she was telling the truth.

AIBU in thinking they had a monumental cheek? She thinks she won't bother with the statement now as she's very pissed off.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

419 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
24%
You are NOT being unreasonable
76%
ChristmasCakeLover · 24/01/2020 12:25

For the benefit of the victim i think she'd be petty and unfair to not make a statement. It's not their fault.

The female officer sounds ok. The male an arse. She should call, ask for the female officer and state why she doesn't what the male.

Woeisme99 · 24/01/2020 12:33

How does she think that not providing a statement would be a good idea? She realises that she's doing it aid the justice process, not to help the male police officer surely?

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 24/01/2020 12:36

I’d make a formal complaint about the police officer insisting and following her in the car.

They can’t insist she make a voluntary witness statement Hmm

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 24/01/2020 12:40

Well not giving a statement will only hurt the victim of this crime, not the police officer. So that just makes her sound a bit petty tbh

Make a complaint about the officer by all means by don’t take it out on the victim

Beautiful3 · 24/01/2020 12:40

That's not right is it?! Glad she felt brave enough to say so and collect her child. I think she ought to provide a statement though when shes able to do so.

Hingeandbracket · 24/01/2020 12:40

Police being v unreasonable. With so few of them it really is Policing by consent and they should value a public-spirited witness, not try to intimidate them. I would make a complaint to IPCC

housemdwaswrong · 24/01/2020 12:41

See, the police don't help themselves. She is being unreasonable to not give a statement... less so if the crime was copyright theft moreso if assault - you know what I mean.

I do understand there frustration though...I was witness to a violent domestic assault, called the police etc etc, and took a good hour down a not very local station giving a statement. Court date I wasn't looking forward to, but took unpaid time of work, drove 45 minutes to get to the court, only to find the case had been dropped and no-one had bothered to tell me. Didn't hear from anyone after the event either so I can understand being hacked off too. I'd second guess involvement again, not the helping someone select of course, but being involved in the court process.

heartsonacake · 24/01/2020 12:42

She really should still make the statement, she would be very unreasonable not to.

Making the statement and how one officer acted are two separate issues; she shouldn’t conflate the two and hinder the victims case.

Thesearmsofmine · 24/01/2020 12:43

Make police officer was unreasonable, your friend is also being unreasonable if she doesn’t give a statement because of this

Gatehouse77 · 24/01/2020 12:43

I understand her frustration but she shouldn’t let that affect her making a statement.

I would complain about how they responded to her but perhaps it would be easier to arrange for her to go in?

Hopefully, when the immediate emotions have lessened she’ll feel more able to assist.

Graciebutterfly · 24/01/2020 12:45

Police bother you non stop to get a statement from you then they tell you they don't have enough evidence which causes you to lose the battle or retract.

Police seem to forget themselves and get to caught up in their power.
They are forever moaning about lack of pay and support from people but interact with them and you clearly see why they are so disliked.

MumW · 24/01/2020 12:46

She'd be very unreasonable not to give a statement, although I understand how she feels.
I suggest that she calls the station and says she was not happy with the male PCs attitude and ask to make an appointment at the station or a specific time to call round.

Blacksackunderthetreesfreeze · 24/01/2020 12:46

Male officer was completely unreasonable. I think she should complain but still make the statement. I wonder if she can ask that someone else take the statement now, as I’d certainly be uncomfortable.

WeHaveSnowdrops · 24/01/2020 12:56

Knowing Em she'll calm down and will make a statement but she doesn't want to see that male officer again.

OP posts:
cologne4711 · 24/01/2020 12:58

They really sound cheeky. I'd definitely complain and say that if they want a statement they do it when convenient for her, and any sensible person doesn't call at someone's house around school drop off or pick up time.

Male police officer needs telling it's not all about him.

AllideasAndNoAction · 24/01/2020 13:04

That sounds terrible. I wonder if they think she has been threatened or pressured into not making a statement? She should definitely take it up with the appropriate person a the station because it doesn't sound right - as though they somehow don't trust her.

Freezingold · 24/01/2020 13:09

I think it may have been miscommunicated that she wasn’t going to give a statement full stop. She should have offered an alternative. To be honest, even though the police were clumsy, you should just deal with it as,there is a real victim out there and the police - well they should have been nicer but they do a shit job and they are working for the victim, so I’d be inclined to give them leeway.

1forsorrow · 24/01/2020 13:10

She should make a statement but also make a complaint. I think there will be advice on police website about who to contact but if not contact the station, ask to speak to the Inspector on duty.

Poorolddaddypig · 24/01/2020 13:11

Almost this exact thing was posted on here a while ago... must happen surprisingly often!

Savingshoes · 24/01/2020 13:12

Your poor friend! She doesn't have to give a statement, what a bully that male police officer appears to be.
Well done her for standing up to him and putting her children's needs before their timetable.

Freezingold · 24/01/2020 13:13

I’m not sure a complaint is warranted. Of course it’s up to your friend, but she could have visited the station instead and to be honest, he was rude and unthinking. I might say it when I made the statement, just say look I was worried about my child at school and policeman insisting I made a statement.

But an official complaint? To me that’s too high a step for what happened.

LetsPlayDarts · 24/01/2020 13:13

This is second-hand information. I doubt very much the officers would follow her to the school. It sounds like an unlikely story.

I'd tell her to call the officer dealing with this to arrange a suitable time for her to make the statement without the male officer there.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 24/01/2020 13:13

Yes, hopefully she won't allow her pissed-offness to affect her civic duty! But yes, the male officer was a total jobsworth arsehole - you can't stop someone from picking their child up from school, ffs!!

GabsAlot · 24/01/2020 13:14

It doesnt matter how the police feel they cant force her to make a voluntary statement i still would but under my terms

AllideasAndNoAction · 24/01/2020 13:14

I suppose it's possible they needed to drive that way anyway and the OPs friend was just being a bit paranoid? It would be very obvious if they were actually following her though - they'd have to drive very slowly, or go to the school ahead of her and then wait for her to arrive in clear sight before driving off.

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