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AIBU?

To those who drink 3-4 bottles of wine per week

243 replies

prayerbeforebed · 24/01/2020 11:46

Can you cope with everyday life the next day and are you comfortable with your intake?
Is it too much ? Is your health affected ?
I find that I am using wine as a crutch since my shock split from husband and subsequent discovery of an affair.
I drink three bottle is wine per week when I did used to enjoy one . I don't want anymore but I find it completely relaxed me and gives me a little buzz of happiness in anitherwise difficult time.
I don't want to ruin my health but I feel a bit guilt.
Thanks

OP posts:
MyuMe · 24/01/2020 11:52

I couldn't.

I would be permanently feeling like I had a hang over and going to work with that rough feeling most mornings isn't something I could tolerate

prayerbeforebed · 24/01/2020 12:02

Thanks. I don't feel hungover but sometimes feel tired the next day.
Anybody's day else please?

OP posts:
prayerbeforebed · 24/01/2020 12:03

I finish the wine by ten thirty and sleep for eight hours straight afterwards

OP posts:
Sally872 · 24/01/2020 12:09

Try Annie Grace alcohol experiment. Helped change my attitude to alcohol while being kind and non judgemental on yourself.

Many on the facebook group are extreme drinkers, but you will find there are people who just drank a bit more than they were happy with try it too. Sign up for 30 days alcohol free, reading her daily emails helped me rethink my relationship with wine. And now I drink 0.5-1 bottle of wine per week.

jackstini · 24/01/2020 12:09

I used to
Slowly built up from 1 to 4 and reached a point in Nov/Dec where it was almost 6
The release was nice, but the after effects were not
I am doing dry January (actually stopped on Boxing Day) with a view to really cutting down after too

My health is better (google fatty liver) weight is starting to come off, I have more patience and it hasn't been quite as hard as I thought

Come over to the alcohol support threads - they are a fabulous bunch of people who want to either quit or moderate and that group support has been invaluable to me

Rayna37 · 24/01/2020 12:20

Half a bottle of wine a night isn't the end of the world (and is better than if you drank nothing all week but then had a whole bottle each day on Friday, Saturday and Sunday) but it is likely to affect your health; it's over twice the 14 units per week that is the official UK guideline.

You'd certainly benefit from trying to have at least two nights per week without and maybe reducing a couple of the other nights to one glass. Start small.

prayerbeforebed · 24/01/2020 12:21

Do you think I am dependant or excessive drinker?

OP posts:
SonjaMorgan · 24/01/2020 12:22

I have at times drank too much. Like you I would start to feel concerned. You are questioning your drinking and therefore you know it is too much. I now try to drink once a week with a nice meal and film (Friday nights). I actually enjoy it more for having it less.

TheDarkPassenger · 24/01/2020 12:23

Do you feel dependant on it?

gamerwidow · 24/01/2020 12:24

How do you feel about having a few day’s a week alcohol free? Do you think you would find it hard?
It’s not good for your liver to drink every day and if its helping you cope it’s sliding into dependency.

PatellarTendonitis · 24/01/2020 12:25

OP, anytime you start a drinking thread on MN, you will be labelled an alcoholic. I don't drink that much, but one of my best friends does and has done for years. She's fine with it. She's in her mid-50s, happily married, has an adult child, doesn't need to work (they are very well off and her h is retired).

lazylinguist · 24/01/2020 12:27

You are probably drinking enough to significantly increase your risk of certain diseases and have a minor impact on your day-to-day health. It's impossible to say whether you're at all physically dependent based on what you've said, but it sounds as though you know full well that you're psychologically dependent if you admit to using it as a crutch. Time to cut down, I'd say.

Blacksackunderthetreesfreeze · 24/01/2020 12:27

It sounds a lot to me.

jackstini · 24/01/2020 12:30

Even if not alcoholic, that level means you are drinking 30-40 units a week
That's more than double the safe limit...

You may not feel dependent but would bu good to see how you feel cutting down/limiting your days

Not judging - I have been on more than that for a long time, but felt now was the right time for me to question it

Meruem · 24/01/2020 12:30

I looked at the Annie Grace thing but couldn't get on board with it as her life was totally different to mine and she seemed to have a lot of reasons to stop that just didn't apply to me!

I drink that much and honestly no, I don't think it affects me that much. I feel no different the day after a "dry" evening than I do if I've had a few glasses the night before. The NHS guidelines are well known as being on the cautious side. That said, I drink red wine and each bottle is 12/13 units so 4 bottles is 48 units at least, and I do think that is too high. Hence why I have been looking to cut down.

My drinking is just a habit, as may be the case with you. In your case you don't want to continue so you need to decide whether you can cope with cutting down or whether it's necessary to stop completely.

lazylinguist · 24/01/2020 12:32

OP, anytime you start a drinking thread on MN, you will be labelled an alcoholic.

Not true. Any time you start a thread about being worried by the fact that you are drinking above recommended levels, many people on MN will agree that you're right to be worried and that it would be a good idea to cut down.

AllergicToAMop · 24/01/2020 12:32

@PatellarTendonitis is right...

Op, you are obviously not comfortable with how much you drink. I used to drink that a week, but then I found other things to do and halved it. You may want to go and speak to some professionals about alternative ways to calm yourself. It's not ok if you have to use alcohol to do it on regular basis.

prayerbeforebed · 24/01/2020 12:33

I would drink a bottle over the course of three hours . Three times per week on average since my marriage died.
I have four alcohol free night per week.
I don't feel dependent but I look forward so much to sitting down enjoying the feelings that come with it . The release, the relaxation, the happy buzzy feeling . I feel like an adult in my own right rather than a busy tired working mother .i see it as my treat to me.
The nights I do not drink I do not miss it or look for it whatsoever . Love my tea and chocolate too but certainly dont get same buzz!!

OP posts:
Wtfdoipick · 24/01/2020 12:34

Can you function without it? Using alcohol as a crutch rather than enjoying it is a warning sign. How does the thought of not drinking affect you.

Occasionally I'll drink that much in a week but it's rare, it's not every week and yes I would function fine the next day. I'm not dependent on it though and if I couldn't have a drink for any reason it would not bother me. It's not always about the amount you drink but how you would feel without it.

Beautiful3 · 24/01/2020 12:34

I believe you only have a problem if you cant go without. If you said I'm not drinking for the next 7 days, would you feel fine. If you cant cope and break open a bottle, then you have a problem.

AllergicToAMop · 24/01/2020 12:35

I don't feel dependent but I look forward so much to sitting down enjoying the feelings that come with it . The release, the relaxation, the happy buzzy feeling .

You see, it's not even the amount, but THIS is the problem.

Coldemort · 24/01/2020 12:37

I easily drink the same. Have done for at least a decade. Glass with dinner. Usually another watching TV/reading in the evening. More at the weekend with boozey lunches. Sometimes work events.

Doesn't bother me. If I have times when I cant have a drink (or recently on painkillers) i don't crave it. I know half a bottle of wine, stop by 10, and I'm fine the next day. More than half a bottle/2 glasses will make me tired but not 'hungover'.

If you're worried about it cut down to set your mind at rest but in my friendship group this is absolutely normal (although of course not in mumsnet land).

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Whoops75 · 24/01/2020 12:38

I drink about the same as you but I try to have two alcohol free nights.
I try to chose wine that has a low alcohol content.


I’m never going to be super healthy but I try to balance the scales. I don’t smoke I walk for 40 mins per day and eat pretty healthy. I take milk thistle and drink the recommended water intake per day.
If it wasn’t wine it would be some rubbish food or I would probably slack off exercise.

I do dry November every year and never feel different health wise I just feel like it’s a month of Monday’s ( hump day)

I’m happy enough to continue as I am.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Peakypolly · 24/01/2020 12:38

I drink that much and honestly no, I don't think it affects me that much. I feel no different the day after a "dry" evening than I do if I've had a few glasses the night before.
Same here.

Spidey66 · 24/01/2020 12:41

I think if you're worried about it, it's worrying.

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