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To think it is harder to have an only child than more?

(295 Posts)
Rosehip345 Thu 23-Jan-20 21:33:42

Just that really. Been having a discussion with friends, all with at least one child up to four.
From my experience I think it is harder to have one as they need the constant attention that siblings give each other. Plus the teaching them to share, occupy themselves etc?
Just intrigued to know others thoughts and how many you have?

SunshineOutdoors Thu 23-Jan-20 21:35:53

How many do you have? I think we all think we’ve got it harder, but there’s pros and cons to both and every set up breaks us in different ways.

Showmethefood Thu 23-Jan-20 21:36:12

Children are hard work full stop. There’s different challenges with however many you have.

Twistybottomsclickytops Thu 23-Jan-20 21:38:03

I found having 1 very easy. Then after a reasonable age gap we had number 2, and that was harder. Totally different needs and stages, so they didn't really entertain each other. Third one is a much smaller age gap and they entertain each other more, but still very different schedules, so I'd definitely say 1 is easier in my experience. Maybe when they're older it's easier to have more than 1. I kinda love the craziness, so wouldn't swap back to the "easy" life I had with just 1. But I'd be far less tired!

isthistoonosy Thu 23-Jan-20 21:38:21

I agree, it is property.much why we had two. My OH only wanted 1 at first but once they were 2, 3 yrs old it was clear how great they for on and how much time.they spend together, without us.

OccasionalNachos Thu 23-Jan-20 21:38:45

I’ve never understood the ‘teaching them to share’ argument as this is also needed with siblings!

All this depends on personalities too. An easy-going only child will be less hard work than three siblings who squabble all the time...

Bluerussian Thu 23-Jan-20 21:39:25

I wouldn't have thought it would be harder to have just one but how would you know unless you had another?

RiddleyW Thu 23-Jan-20 21:39:35

I don’t know as I only have one. It seems easier than next doors’ three - although they’re lovely kids and it’s a happy family.

My DS is pretty chill though (5 years old) and I like hanging out with him. I found the first year very very hard though!

Gustavo1 Thu 23-Jan-20 21:40:17

I have four. It’s hard. My four don’t share, they like different foods, different things on tv, different stories at bed time. Three of the four still need help with the toilet, dressing, cutting their meals etc. Only two of them sleep through the night. To be honest, I can see how having an only presents challenges but there is no way it can be harder than having multiples, not in real terms.

SprogletsMum Thu 23-Jan-20 21:40:29

I've got 4 dc. When I only have 1 with me it's about 4000 times easier.
I've found that every amount of children you have feels hard and less seems easier, so I'd say 0 children is the easiest, then 1 then 2 etc.

hazell42 Thu 23-Jan-20 21:40:38

Er no

BinkyandBunty Thu 23-Jan-20 21:41:04

I think it depends on their relationship and how free range a parent you are. My two didn't really get along until they were teens, and I felt I constantly had to intervene.

So I had 2 children to look after individually, plus their relationship to manage. It was a LOT more work than when I just had the one.

Yestermost Thu 23-Jan-20 21:41:07

Well one of my 4 always wants me to play with her. It was dead easy when we had just one for 9 years. Its the arguing that kills me.

Summercamping Thu 23-Jan-20 21:41:34

I have 4, fairly close in age. It's much harder than having one or two when they're all small, although now that my youngest (twins) are 4, I find it getting easier as they do play together a lot

user1493413286 Thu 23-Jan-20 21:42:06

I think 2 is harder when they’re younger but as they get older then it’s easier as they play together etc whereas with 1 they need more adult entertainment

puds11 Thu 23-Jan-20 21:42:31

I had 1 for 9 years, now I have 2. 2 is harder.

IHaveBrilloHair Thu 23-Jan-20 21:43:28

Nope, and I have an only who is 18!

almostfreeatlast Thu 23-Jan-20 21:43:41

I honestly don’t know how parents of one child do it. If my two didn’t have each other to aim their ridiculous questions and all the rest of it for at least part of the time I’d be absolutely stark raving mad! Genuinely.

Reginabambina Thu 23-Jan-20 21:44:27

I suppose it depends on how you raise your children. I’ve taught both of mine to play independently from a young age so entertaining them isn’t a huge issue. But spending time on homework/teaching them other things/paying for school fees etc is a significant burden. For me it would have been much easier to have just the one. Parents who have minimal involvement in their children’s development beyond keeping them entertained would find it easier if they had more than one.

BiscuitBarrels Thu 23-Jan-20 21:45:09

I’ve got more than one.

Just one would be immensely, far, enormously, hugely easier.

Aragog Thu 23-Jan-20 21:45:43

I have one family laid back teenage dd. On the whole it is easy going, though I do think much of that is to do with her personality, and probably mine and dh's personalities too.

There have been times when it could be tricky only having one - you need to be better organised over arranging play dates and clubs so they have entertainment of their own age at times, and they can need more entertaining when on family holidays just the three of us, more so when she was smaller.

But then I see friends with 2 or more and they have other issues going on with children of different ages and different sexes, differing interests, squabbles, etc.

However, both have their easy and harder aspects and I do believe a lot depends on the individual children and your own natures too.

Wheresthebiffer2 Thu 23-Jan-20 21:45:58

I can't comment on how hard it is to have more than one - because I have one child, so that is my experience.

I enjoyed the intensity of the relationship when she was little, didn't think about it in terms of constant needing attention, just spent quality time with my child. Of course sometimes I got bored with having to play Barbies or whatever, but mostly i enjoyed being her playmate as well as her mum.

And I am thankful for the good things that come with having just one. I could afford to buy new school uniforms every year - so my child could have clothes that fitted her, rather than a too big blazer for school, or Brownie uniform, to grow into. i could afford to buy Boden , lol .

Also, fun things like we could hire a van for a day and enjoy all sitting three abreast while we went places, rather than someone having to be alone in the back seat. :-)

And for those that think you don't get squabbling and arguing siblings if you have an only - well my DC argued with her invisible friend, so we still had that stage.

ALbigbump Thu 23-Jan-20 21:46:03

I have 1, he was a very easy baby and now a chilled out 8 year old. I feel guilty for not giving him a sibling but that’s a whole different thread that’s already been done!

AngelinaGrimke Thu 23-Jan-20 21:46:04

Oh God not another OneChildBingo thread!

cuckooken Thu 23-Jan-20 21:46:18

From my experience I think it is harder to have one as they need the constant attention that siblings give each other.

Well it rather depends on the siblings, doesn't it?

For the parents having more then one child is always going to be harder. Do you honestly think ten mins peace and quiet while siblings play balances out the extra work of another child? Like another year or so of breastfeeding? Changing nappies for another 2/3 years? I could go on, but you know, obviously more people are harder to take care of

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