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AIBU?

Downside of dog ownership

171 replies

TheFastandTheCurious · 22/01/2020 10:22

A colleague's husband wants a puppy, colleague doesn't, I've told her to not even consider getting one if they don't agree on it. She wants her husband to understand why she doesn't want one and the downsides of dog ownership, I have a dog and as much as I love her, I wouldn't get another. They both work full time. She wants me to get a list together to show the cons and so far I have cost - including food, insurance, vet bills etc., dog hair everywhere, giving up a lot of time to train, toilet training, not being able to leave the dog for long periods, what will they do when they want a holiday, who is going to train it, what will they do when at work.

He wants to just go and buy a Golden Retriever, I've said any reputable breeder would have a waiting list and he'd potentially be getting one from a BYB or farm.

What else am I forgetting?

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silverwings · 22/01/2020 10:24

mess and hair. I have a Lab and he is lovely but soooo hairy. I have to hoover twice a day to keep on top of it

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FishCanFly · 22/01/2020 10:26

She's BU

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usernamerisnotavailable · 22/01/2020 10:27

I've got a 7 month puppy. Had totally forgotten how much work they are and how much they limit you in terms of just popping out. It's like having another baby.

Love him to bits but it's also restricting what I do about getting another job as it's simply not fair to leave a dog on its own all day. The cost of dog sitters is expensive!!

But he is amazing and very affectionate and I am loving g walking for an hour and a half each day.

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Tombliwho · 22/01/2020 10:29

I'm having another baby in 13 weeks and I am less worried and stressed about this than the idea of dealing with a puppy again. That's all I can say really.
(Don't tell them I adore the bloody dog now and she's become the perfect family companion...) The first year was fucking awful and that was with me home in the day with her.

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LolaSmiles · 22/01/2020 10:30

For me it's as simple as this: both people in the household aren't ok for a puppy so the puppy doesn't happen.

You've got a good list there, did you have:

  • mess from when a bitch has her season because there should be at least one ideally before being spayed
  • if and when they have children how will that work? E.g dog and baby can't be alone together, two drop offs to childcare and doggy daycare
  • exercise requirements: there's always people who'll say they have a big dog and they are a lovely lazy dog who doesn't pester for long walks and will sit on the sofa all day, but how much of that is because the poor dog has resigned themselves to bring cooped up indoors because their owners can't be arsed to walk them properly?
  • lifestyle changes: do they lead quite an active lifestyle with lots of outdoor activities? If not then the impact of getting a golden retriever would be substantial.


I'd be very wary of his claims that he'll "do everything for the puppy and she'll not have to do anything". Just like when teenagers say this to their parents and mum/dad end up picking up the walks in 3 months time, your friend will end up having to clean up toilet training, will have to be in the house whilst he just 'nips out'.
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PrayingandHoping · 22/01/2020 10:31

The biggest issue is they both work full time! Getting a puppy is not really a good idea unless that have local family or something that will look after it during the day as it will be a long time before it's old enough to just be taken for a walk in the middle of the day by a dog walker and that being sufficient

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raspberryk · 22/01/2020 10:31

Walks at least twice a day in all weather.
You can't leave a puppy all day anyway while you work full time you would need to pay for a dog walker and puppy visits once it's crate trained. They're expensive plus vets, flea, worming.
Hair and mud. Even after you've washed them the hair is still on your clothes.
You can't do anything impromptu and you always need to get back for the dog.
Dog poop. Dog sick. Dog breath. They eat disguising things. They eat your furniture.

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Honeyroar · 22/01/2020 10:32

Mess
Hair
Loss of freedom to do things on the spur of the moment.
Vets bills (getting more and more expensive).
Holiday cover.
Care for the dog while at work.
Work getting dog trained and socialised.

You couldn’t pay me enough to have a puppy. And they’re stupidly expensive.

However, despite all the negatives, the pros of having dogs out weight them by miles. I wouldn’t be without mine.

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Whynosnowyet · 22/01/2020 10:33

Working full time is a good enough reason not to get a ddog.
No other necessary imo.

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bloodywhitecat · 22/01/2020 10:35

I have a 10 week old baby, a 3 year old and an 18 week old puppy. The puppy is harder work than the kids together, the training is relentless.

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Whatsnewpussyhat · 22/01/2020 10:36

Because she will end up having to be responsible for the dog when he loses interest and cant be arsed.

The fact they both work full time should be enough. Leaving a puppy for that long almost every day is shite.

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Lunafortheloveogod · 22/01/2020 10:39

Vet bills.. you need to look into your insurance properly. Some don’t cover conditions common to the breed, which are a lot more likely if he’s just going to grab the first fluffy fido he finds.

Dp’s grandparents, who only ever got pups from tommy round the road back in the day, got a pup recently.. don’t get me started it wasn’t a good idea but their monkeys their circus... from an ad she found online. The dogs not even a year old and has had to have surgery on its hind legs as the joints are already fucked up. That’ll be a life time of cost, physio and having to be extremely clear with dog walkers etc that the poor high energy puppy can’t bloody run or jump.

I wonder if he’s realised how much training/walking/fluff cleansing he’s actually up against. I have 3 tiny short haired dogs and I look like I work in an angora sorting factory if I wear all black, one would walk miles, one would maybe come if it’s nice and the other gets to the end of the road and acts like he’s meeting his maker.. he’s fine he’s dramatic (which has also cost us a fair bit in the vets with I think he’s dying acts)


My child has also been easier than any puppy. No kid has chewed through a door to my knowledge nor ate a mattress.

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AryaStarkWolf · 22/01/2020 10:40

She's BU

Why?

She will have to live with an animal she doesn't want 24/7, hair everywhere, shit in her garden, shit in her house while it's still being housetrained. She will then either have to clean it up or else live with said shit and hair until her OH does it.

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Name739017 · 22/01/2020 10:40

When they roll in fox 💩 on a walk and you have to come home and shower them. Worse if they do it on the way to a pub lunch and you have to cancel because you can’t take the dog into a pub and make the whole place stink of shit!

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LoopyLu2019 · 22/01/2020 10:42

So we're 100% on getting a dog but work full time. We will be spending £125-150 a week on day care. That was the biggest draw back for us but we have lived for 3 years without and waiting and still want one. Now we're waiting for our choice breeder (and have been for 2 years as just missed out on last litter) so we're not supporting back yard breeding. We have accepted the dog will reduce travelling, time for gym classes and weekend trips. They will be like our baby, my manager thinks I'm nutty that I will be running to a schedule like having a child at nursery but it is how it is with full time work, a dog walker is NOT sufficient for a puppy. We will be using all our annual leave for it's first few months with us, and aclimatising it to the day care.

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TheFastandTheCurious · 22/01/2020 10:42

She's the sensible one, and yes, both working full time is the main reason this shouldn't happen

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AryaStarkWolf · 22/01/2020 10:42

@Name739017 oh god yeah, I wondered if that was a female thing or do male dogs do that too? I ask because I've had 4 dogs over my life and only the females did that, they were both terriers though and the males were collies, so maybe that.....or maybe neither hhhmmm

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LoopyLu2019 · 22/01/2020 10:42

Are they prepared to commit like that?

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WhoisitnowRalph · 22/01/2020 10:43

The risk of behavioural problems developing, which you are then committed to dealing with over its entire lifetime - same with health problems.

The commitment to walking it twice a day, every day, even when you're sick, or if it's so vile and reactive to walk that you have to be on permanent watch for other people and other dogs and can't relax or walk wherever, or whenever, you'd like.

Managing it around visitors to the front door or into your home, if it is anxious or aggressive.

Managing it's social and bodily function needs around work and family commitments - you can't leave most dogs for more than 4 hours at a time (ours could handle 12, but she was old and hated people anyway).

Getting expensive care in place whenever you want to go on holiday abroad, or go away without the dog for a bit of peace away from it.

Huge vet bills when the insurance company small print rejects a big claim. I paid Noel Fitzpatrick £4,000, and that was cheap.

Ours died last November and DH wants another but I am resisting, especially as no new dog could be left as long as our work commitments dictate. I adored her and I miss her horribly, but my God it was hard work. Admittedly, if you are sensible about breed selection, do your research and put the work in to training, there's no reason that it can't be a good experience. My mistake was taking the first puppy I saw because I felt sorry for it. 12 long years later, I wouldn't do it again!

Although I would rescue...

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makingmammaries · 22/01/2020 10:44

Damage to possessions, annoyance to neighbours, escaping, doggy smells in the house, possible allergies.

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SoupDragon · 22/01/2020 10:44

I would never get another dog either.

The hassle of finding someone to look after him when we go on holiday, not being able to go out for the day, the sheer neediness of him (he follows me everywhere), walking in all weathers (the mud!), vet bills...

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WeeMadArthur · 22/01/2020 10:47

Well she is being really sensible and he is being an idiot. Any reputable breeder won’t have a puppy available right away, plus will have lots of questions to make sure they are suitable owners ( which if they answer truthfully they won’t be). So worst case they will end up with a puppy from a puppy farm which hasn’t been carefully bred which has health problems that will affect it all it’s life and the breeder won’t give a flying toss.

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AryaStarkWolf · 22/01/2020 10:48

@SoupDragon Same I have a dog and a cat, they're both youngish now and I adore them but I won't get anymore when they go. Kids are almost grown now and when they do I want to be free to go away for holidays or nights/weekends away at the drop of a hat and with no extra expense and hassle

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Canyousewcushions · 22/01/2020 10:50

The sheer amount of work/time involved in walking (Though I guess this would be reduced if they paid a walker to do a big walk during the day).

Could they 'borrow' a working breed dog from someone who is on holiday? DH and I wpuld both like a dog really and being doggy folk were happy to volunteer to look after a friend's collie while they were away. It was fun but we were glad to send him back at the end of the fortnight....!

The dog didn't have a walker and so we were up really early for a pre-work walk and back out for a longer one each evening. It just took up so much time!

Plus the hair. And the hoovering. And the hair. And more hoovering. And the dog smell.

Even as a pair of dog lovers (and both from dog owning families so not inexperienced with them) it was enough to make us think again!!

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Roselilly36 · 22/01/2020 10:51

Having owned a dog from a pup to being PTS at 13, as much as we loved him, he was loyal, and just lovely in every way, we would never replace him because
1 total commitment of time
2 you can’t leave a dog all day
3 destruction when a pup, amazing the damage they can do in a very short period of time, chewed bannisters, vinyl floor & carpets ripped up.
4expensive to keep food, vet visits, grooming
5hair everywhere, retrievers will moult all year round
6 unable to plan a full day out without the dog coming too
7 holidays, either boarding which is expensive or take dog with you
8 training takes a lot of time
9 when you have a dog you need to think that’s at least a 12-13 year commitment with a retriever, hopefully longer. Where will your family be at that time, perhaps children grown up and left home, and you still have dog at home
10 total heart break when you lose them not to be underestimated, it’s awful you miss them, you miss the routine etc.

You both really need to be on the same page and really want a dog, otherwise it won’t work. Dogs are lovely but very hard work too.

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