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AIBU?

Annoyed with DH

141 replies

Rosebel · 21/01/2020 20:41

Still suffering morning (all day) sickness although not every day. Had it bad today and still my husband invited his mother round for tea. I assumed that he would cook, knowing I felt shit which he did after I asked him.
When he gave his mum the pie he said sorry there's no veg because I hadn't cooked any. He then sat down with his tea and I said did he do anything for me and he said no
I didn't want to make a scene in front of his mum so am just sat here feeling hungry. I just feel like he has no concept of how I feel. But maybe I'm being a bit unreasonable and lazy. Maybe I should have cooked tea and made sure he did veg? Maybe I should have asked if he was doing me some tea?
I feel like he deliberately did a poor job to prove he's incapable and I should do everything but perhaps that's unfair. I don't know I just feel like he's pissing me off a lot at the moment but could just be that I'm being a bitch. Am I right to feel pissed off or does your partner need things spelling out for them? I'm less annoyed he didn't cook for me, I'm more annoyed he expected me to cook and entertain his mother who I'm barely talking to anyway.

OP posts:
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Sexnotgender · 21/01/2020 20:53

He was a knob.

Why did he not make you dinner? Were you not all eating together?

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NaviSprite · 21/01/2020 21:01

Shock he’s been massively dickish, to blame you for no veg and not to bring you any food even though you’re carrying his baby?! I’d be extremely angry in your position OP.

What is he like with you in general? Is this normal behaviour or has it only started to surface since you became pregnant?

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NaviSprite · 21/01/2020 21:02

Sorry read sickness as morning sickness

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Sexykitten2005 · 21/01/2020 21:02

Are you looking forward to having two child when your baby is born? What a childish pathetic way to behave when he doesn’t get his own way. And why are you sitting there not eating? You’re pregnant! If he can’t take care of you now don’t expect any help later. He needs a firm word and a dose of reality but I’d be planning my future very carefully

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NaviSprite · 21/01/2020 21:02

He’s still acted a twat though

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Whynosnowyet · 21/01/2020 21:03

Tell his dm she can have him back..
You don't need a newborn and a stroppy teen.

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2020BetterBeBetter · 21/01/2020 21:04

YANBU. Is this typical behaviour?

I’d get a takeaway delivered.

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Serin · 21/01/2020 21:06

YADNBUFlowers

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Rosebel · 21/01/2020 21:06

Yes it is morning sickness. He just said as I was too ill to cook he thought I was too sick to eat.
Sometimes he's like this and other times he can be great. I think he's pissed off that he has to do more since I got pregnant.. He just makes me feel so sad sometimes.

OP posts:
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fedup21 · 21/01/2020 21:07

You’re pregnant with his child.He invites his mother round for dinner and blamed you for there being no vegetables and he didn’t cook you any dinner at all?

I’m stunned!

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NaviSprite · 21/01/2020 21:07

OMG I need to recalibrate my brain, you did say morning sickness! Then my original point stands (sorry OP ignore my daftness!).

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Randomname85 · 21/01/2020 21:08

He cooked dinner for himself and his mother but not for his pregnant wife?

Arsehole!

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NaviSprite · 21/01/2020 21:08

This is a time he should be supporting you, is he good at having conversations or does he sulk if you tell him how his behaviour is out of order? I’m sorry you’re having to manage your pregnancy with what sounds like a manchild OP Flowers

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user3575796673 · 21/01/2020 21:08

How badly does he treat you normally that you're not even sure if it's a big deal he deliberately failed to cook you any food when cooking dinner?

How is this even a question you have?

What kind of "scene" would he have caused if you had asked why there was no food for you?

I feel like he deliberately did a poor job to prove he's incapable and I should do everything

Quite obviously. Plus punishing you.

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KellyHall · 21/01/2020 21:10

What the actual fuck? Didn't his mother say anything? Or are they both selfish arseholes?

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user3575796673 · 21/01/2020 21:11

He just said as I was too ill to cook he thought I was too sick to eat.

Manipulative prick.

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Butterymuffin · 21/01/2020 21:11

Do you normally do all the cooking? No way would I carry on with that after this. Tomorrow I would just cook for me and when he asked where his was I would say 'oh, didn't do you any, I thought we were just cooking for ourselves now'.

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Hahaha88 · 21/01/2020 21:11

Wow where can I meet such a fantastic man??? 🔫 He has a mouth, he should have simply asked you if you wanted to eat or felt too ill. He was being a dick, deliberately, by not asking/cooking for you. And the comment about the veg is the icing on the cake. I'd have said"sorry I didn't realise I'm the only person in this marriage who can cook veg". What a douche. Order yourself a takeaway lass

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picklemepopcorn · 21/01/2020 21:11

Quietly point out to him that he is on trial- what kind of father is he going to be, what kind of man is he? Warn him that you cannot and will not risk your child being brought up by a lazy selfish git, so he needs to shape up.

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user3575796673 · 21/01/2020 21:12

He is going to be so much worse once the baby is here.

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LaurieFairyCake · 21/01/2020 21:14

Right. None of this was predictable before getting pregnant? None of it?

You've never been sick or ill or otherwise indisposed and not available to service his every whim?

Well you know now. It is not under any circumstances going to get any better so before you hang around Mumsnet complaining about him (and his Mum - how could she not SAY anything while she was tucking into her pie?) for the next 20 years, leave.

Run as fast as your pregnant legs can carry you.

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Frenchw1fe · 21/01/2020 21:15

That’s pretty selfish and his mum is a bit strange too. My mil would have certainly asked my dh why he hadn’t got me any tea in those circumstances. In fact she would probably have offered to make me some.
Make it clear to your dh that you’re going to put yourself first even if he won’t.

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CakeandCustard28 · 21/01/2020 21:18

And your having a child with this selfish man-child because?

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flouncyfanny · 21/01/2020 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

roundtable · 21/01/2020 21:22

Get rid op. Even when dh and I have had a disagreement neither of us would do anything that spiteful. He'll keep chipping away at you.

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