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Am I starving my toddler?

(230 Posts)
anniefrangipani Tue 21-Jan-20 14:21:06

17mo DD, still breastfeeding, sleeps 7-7 with one or two wake ups. Naps 11-1pm, feeds to sleep, eats three meals a day plus one snack.

We started weaning at 6mo and did BLW exclusively. She has always shared our meals, will quite happily eat steak or pasta or gooseberries or whatever we're having. We've always tried not to make too much of a fuss of her eating, and just let food be it's own reward.

Occasionally she'll turn her nose up and refuse to eat anything at all. We don't make a fuss about that either.

She still happily shares our meals - tea last night was homemade burgers, brioche buns, mature cheddar, corn on the cob, sugar snap peas. She had about a quarter of a burger, a piece of bun, a few bits of cheese, half a corn cob, about five or six sugar snaps. She had a few bites of everything, but didn't finish any of it or I would have given her more.

Tonight's dinner is steak and cauliflower cheese. She'll have a couple of strips of steak, a couple of florets of cauliflower, a tablespoon of peas, a few carrot circles. She's unlikely to eat it all, though if she does there'll be more.

Breakfast rhis morning was porridge with dried cranberries and dried blueberries. She ate five teaspoons, which I would consider a lot for her. Plus she stole two raspberries from DP (offered her more, plus some ham, but she wasn't interested).

Am I starving her? I've never given her a whole packet of crisps. Or a whole ice cream. Or a whole slice of cake or a whole sandwich. It, frankly, wouldn't occur to me to. But every time I log on to Facebook, people with kids the same age are holding ice creams, and my mother has been complaining that I'm starving her since DD was 10w old (I have been ignoring her, obviously, but maybe she's not entirely wrong?)

AIBU by not offering enough food?

Cryingoverspilttea Tue 21-Jan-20 14:23:59

Is she underweight or small? Then maybe.

Is she average/above average and keeping in line with her percentiles? If yes, then no you're not starving her.

Grumpbum123 Tue 21-Jan-20 14:23:59

Sounds like the approach I took with my children and I certainly never felt I was starving them. Sounds like a good diet

alltalknobaby Tue 21-Jan-20 14:24:09

What is her height and weight chart like? As long as she’s not varying % hugely on that, and doesn’t always seem hungry, I think you’re doing fine. Ignore Facebook (general life rule).

Winkywoop Tue 21-Jan-20 14:25:10

If she's not eating much of it you can't be starving her.

But maybe try to wean off the breastfeeding and she will eat more? (Not an anti bf post at all! But may help her appetite)

DownWhichOfLate Tue 21-Jan-20 14:26:25

You can offer more but she will only eat what she wants. They go through phases of eating more then eating less. Teething can have an impact etc.

Mandarinfish Tue 21-Jan-20 14:28:53

Mine hadn't had a whole ice cream or pack of crisps by that age either. It's good to avoid the unhealthy stuff while you still can.

khaleesiofthegreatgrasssea Tue 21-Jan-20 14:29:30

You are clearly not actively starving her or withholding food as you say you have more to give her, but she refuses more/doesn't finish. If her weight is low you could try more calorie dense foods but it sounds like she's already eating a good variety. If you're concerned maybe ask your GP to refer you to a dietician.

Bananacloud Tue 21-Jan-20 14:30:40

Your 6m baby ate steak and burger?? Don’t you have to purée food until their a certain age?
Genuine question. I actually don’t know the answer 😆

gaffamate Tue 21-Jan-20 14:30:40

No but you know you're not. This post is just to be judgy about people giving ice creams etc. compared to your wholesome sugar snap peas. Social media doesn't convey the full picture of most people's lives.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime Tue 21-Jan-20 14:31:22

If her weight and height are within the "normal" parameters for her age, and she is not asking for more food, you have no reason to worry.

No child of under two needs ice-creams or bags of crisps or huge slices of cake! And if they don't ever have them they won't miss them or demand them, which saves a lot of trouble.

For the record, your diet for your DD sounds much like what I offered to my children when they were that age: what we ate ourselves, in smaller quantities. They did also get apples (cut into slices) and bananas and other fruit in season if they wanted snacks not at mealtimes. And they are all, in their thirties, tall and well-set-up but not fat, which has to be a good thing I think.

Bananacloud Tue 21-Jan-20 14:32:11

Ohhhhh 17 months
HOW did I miss that?! 🤣

Socksey Tue 21-Jan-20 14:32:17

You are offering food.... the one useful piece of advice that my mum gave me was that 'no child will willingly starve itself'
So as long as you keep offering a variety of food... your child will eat what they want and not necessarily all of it... my DS was really quite scrawny until about age 7 and now is a solid lump at 11.

PointeShoesandTutus Tue 21-Jan-20 14:33:51

My DD eats about the same as yours, maybe less. Very similar setup - fed to sleep, breastfed, BLW, eats what we do.

We have shared photos of her with an ice cream - so it would look like she got a whole one to herself from the photo. The reality is she has a few licks, passes it to us and daddy finishes it off. Photos can be deceiving so don’t worry about it. We have given her a packet of baby crisps (the veggie straws) but again, she’ll eat a few and hand it back.

Other than squeezy yoghurt pouches (she loves the Suckies ones) and a banana once in a blue moon, she’s never eaten more than about 1/3 of anything we’ve given her!

Urkiddingright Tue 21-Jan-20 14:34:16

She’s 17 months old, I’m not sure how much you’re expecting her to eat really. They eat until they’re full generally then will start refusing and a hungry baby will definitely let you know it. They don’t tend to eat bigger portions until they’re at least two, before then it is just picking at bits here and there.

Wildorchidz Tue 21-Jan-20 14:34:40

AIBU by not offering enough food?

You know you’re not.
Why did you ask about crisps, ice creams and cakes when you know the answer to that too ?

followingonfromthat Tue 21-Jan-20 14:34:50

There is food available if she wants it. She chooses not to eat it, so she isn't hungry. She's still having milk, so she doesn't need any more food, and certainly not things loaded with fat and sugar that would give her a sweet tooth.

You're doing everything right.

Dandelion1993 Tue 21-Jan-20 14:35:47

5 teaspoons doesn't sound like a lot if I'm honest.

I think you need to start reducing her milk.

pastabest Tue 21-Jan-20 14:39:04

Your 6m baby ate steak and burger?? Don’t you have to purée food until their a certain age?

No. I never puréed a single thing for either of my children, didn't even mash up banana. They quite happily sucked on strips of beef, toast and omelette, and crammed things like spag Bol into their mouth using their hands from 6 months old.

Like OPs child they don't eat huge amounts in comparison to some of their peers. One of the reasons for baby led weaning is that they learn to stop eating when they are full and not even the adult with the spoon stops feeding them.

Bumfuzzled Tue 21-Jan-20 14:39:14

So your child is eating steak, porridge and blueberries but you are concerned you are starving her because you don’t feed her crap?

Either you really need some more education on nutrition (in which case please speak to your GP or HV) or this is a massive stealth boast post.

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden Tue 21-Jan-20 14:39:18

Your 6m baby ate steak and burger?? Don’t you have to purée food until their a certain age?

No, there's no need to puree. BLW stands for baby-led weaning.

Mistletorpor Tue 21-Jan-20 14:39:28

No but you know you're not. This post is just to be judgy about people giving ice creams etc. compared to your wholesome sugar snap peas. Social media doesn't convey the full picture of most people's lives.

^ This ^

pastabest Tue 21-Jan-20 14:40:59

even - when

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden Tue 21-Jan-20 14:41:42

Maybe less milk if she's not keeping up the percentiles, as PP said. Otherwise she sounds like she's doing well.

Janaih Tue 21-Jan-20 14:42:42


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