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To be fed up with getting told off every time I go to the dentist?

(308 Posts)
ElderAve Mon 20-Jan-20 16:50:30

I'm 50 this year and I don't have any fillings. There's nothing wrong with my teeth. I eat a balanced diet hardly any sweets and no fizzy drinks (main because I've never liked them). I'm also probably just a bit lucky with my teeth.

I brush regularly but find flossing really uncomfortable so rarely do it. I see the hygienist three times a year to get rid of any build up.

Every time I go to the dentist or the hygienist, I get another lecture about brushing and flossing. I know technically it's just advice but the tone is definitely "telling off".

Really, I'm a 50yo adult who's teeth are in remarkably good condition, I can't be getting it that badly wrong. And if I do have any failings, I pay these people handsomely to deal with it!

Actually, by this stage in life, I'm not at all convinced such regular visits are necessary, but obviously no dentist is going to tell me that.

BlueJava Mon 20-Jan-20 16:52:32

I'd tell them that! Or change your dentist to one who will work with you not lecture you.

OldEvilOwl Mon 20-Jan-20 16:54:29

If you brush and floss your teeth properly you shouldn't get any build up. When the plaque goes hard that's when it can cause problems such as gum disease, which is why your probably being 'told off'. Have you tried the interdental brushes? They are much easier than floss, and maybe an electric toothbrush? You could probably cut your visits to once or twice a year then

dementedpixie Mon 20-Jan-20 16:57:03

I use interdental brushes and an electric toothbrush and havent needed a scale and polish for nearly 2 years

Babynamechangerr Mon 20-Jan-20 17:01:42

I hear you op, I get sick of this as well.

I do use teepees but not the massive ones they want me to use which are like sticking a bog brush in between your teeth. I don't do it every day, I'm just really busy.

My teeth are fine, no fillings or gum problems. I go every 6 months as I take the kids anyway.
Yet I still get the lecture/telling off about flossing, electric tooth brushes etc. I mean, why. I get in an ideal world I'd do this, but I'd also eat 8 portions of fruit/veg, and exercise every day as well. I don't have time to do those things either.

Els1e Mon 20-Jan-20 17:03:10

I had this too. I use to dread going because I would be lectured to like I was 5. I changed dental practice and the new one is much better. Speaks to me as an adult.

Dozer Mon 20-Jan-20 17:03:18

If you don’t like their manner and alternative NHS services are available in your area, switch dentist/hygienist.

Hingeandbracket Mon 20-Jan-20 17:06:31

I feel the same - my teeth aren't bad (haven't needed a filling since teens) but they seem to expect me to use a pressure washer, bleach and a roadsweeper (every ten seconds) in my gob.

I am not convinced everything they advocate is actually good for my teeth and gums.

Stabbitha Mon 20-Jan-20 17:08:20

I have very good teeth. I think it genetic. No fillings or anything. I'm 36.

I also have horrific gums. They are barely holding in my perfect teeth.

Something to consider.

managedmis Mon 20-Jan-20 17:09:54

I feel the same. Always get a bollocking. Same at the hairdresser m

Ohyesiam Mon 20-Jan-20 17:10:49

Change your dentist. Mine only ever says this stuff to the kids.

TheWickerWoman Mon 20-Jan-20 17:11:03

I changed dentist for this very reason, got fed up of being patronised.

WriteronaMission Mon 20-Jan-20 17:16:16

I hate patronising dentists in the same way I hate patronising doctors and vets. There's one thing to give advise but another to do it in a way that's like a scolding.

We recently switched dentists because of this. Now I've found a lovely one who doesn't make me feel bad when my daughter's have a bit of buildup despite brushing and flossing properly. They just have teeth like mine that get buildup quickly but is difficult to remove. My daughter's love going because he's also wonderful with them, explaining things in a way they understand.

Definitely switch dentists and if they ask, share why. They need to know that patronising patients isn't the way to go. It just leads to people not wanting to go and everyone should have a check up every six months.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo Mon 20-Jan-20 17:17:41

Yes I get fed up with it as well, my teeth are in good condition but I get the flossing lecture as well, god knows how they speak to people who actually have bad teeth, probably give them detention.

crystal1717 Mon 20-Jan-20 17:24:49

Change dentist and also complain. You are the customer and their service is awful.

Kelsoooo Mon 20-Jan-20 17:33:49

I don't understand why dentists are like this?

I told mine I had a phobia, I did - I was on diazepam just to get there and my DH had to be in the room.... Was still as rough and horrible to me, and this was private!

I've moved to a training dentist now, so there's usually about 5 people in the room, way more patient with me. And now I can manage without diazepam. Each time I go, they find something positive to tell me and reframe the negative (my dental hygiene can slip if my MH plays up).

dottiedodah Mon 20-Jan-20 17:35:53

Sometimes not as easy to swap Dentists ,as limited practices in lots of areas ATM.My Dentist is very good will speak to me professionally .Even though teeth are in good condition ,Dentists job is to keep them that way! Apparently snacking through the day isnt good for teeth either !

ClientListQueen Mon 20-Jan-20 17:37:35

Have you tried a water flosser? I started using one and my dentist comments on how much cleaner my teeth are. It makes my mouth feel so much fresher too
To be fair I quit a 30 a day smoking habit so mine says he can never tell me off now grin

icannotremember Mon 20-Jan-20 17:38:17

I'd change dentist and let them know why.

Kelsoooo Mon 20-Jan-20 17:41:49


They make you feel like crap, and dirty and inhuman tbh.

That sounds dramatic but honestly, that's how he made me feel.

He said "you've so many teeth removed because of bad hygiene and you don't even care"

My uncle who'd come with me to that one pointed out I'd had half of them removed due to my mouth being so small (they'd also had to do something to my actual jaw) and the other half removed by a dentist that had since been jailed for malpractice for removing teeth of children unnecessarily.

Cried for hours after that.

I think dentists by and large are pretty awful.

Another dentist removed a tooth without doing an x-ray and ignored me when I said I had really long roots that wrapped over my jaw/into it (dunno not a dentist).....he ended up giving me a black eye because his hand slipped off his pliers as he was pulling it. Ended up having that surgically removed as well (wisdom tooth, that regrew despite it being removed when I was 11)

God you've triggered me here 😂😂

AdaKirkby Mon 20-Jan-20 17:42:46

I brush with an expensive electric toothbrush that the dentist recommended, twice a day. I also floss at night. I go to the dentist every six months for a check up, haven’t had a new filling for years, just replaced old ones.

I go to the hygienist every 6 months because my teeth stain easily. She’s really nice - I asked how I can stop my teeth staining and she said yours just stain easily, you could carry a bottle of water and toothbrush with you and clean your teeth after every cup of tea/coffee, mouthful of anything oily including cheese and after you’ve eaten anything that isn’t white/beige but that would be a bit inconvenient. Maybe just carry some water and wash your mouth out when you can.

My last dentist was a patronising old git and told me to stop drinking red wine, coffee and tea - not very practical. He also used to give me lectures. I want nice healthy teeth but I also want to live a normal life. I also wondered what they said to people who don’t brush often / floss at all.

ClientListQueen Mon 20-Jan-20 17:47:01

@AdaKirkby mine also stain v easily - I can recommend white glo toothpaste. Use the toothbrush that comes with it, and the paste just once to remove the staining and I just redo when needed
My hygienist was honestly astounded, it got rid of everything. She said it's not massively abrasive but best to use to clear staining then swap back to normal paste

stayathomegardener Mon 20-Jan-20 17:48:56

I used to hate the way they scratched my gums really hard with something sharp and then jumped on me when they obviously bled as my dental hygiene was excellent.
But then I got a water flosser as a previous poster mentioned.
The same dentist now raves about my teeth and gums.
It only took 10 days to make a massive difference.
I've been a bit lax lately must start using it again.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo Mon 20-Jan-20 17:50:42

I’m sorry what you have been through Kelsooo that sounds awful and the last thing you need is some prick of a dentist speaking to you like that, I’m not surprised you cried, they deserved reporting.

SchadenfreudePersonified Mon 20-Jan-20 17:51:17

I never bother with the hygienist since I read a paper in a dental journal which said it does no good, and if anything can loosen the teeth in the gums.

Apparently within an hour all the plaque is back . . .

. . . and your teeth are looser in your gums.

I read this about 15 years ago - I don't know if the study has been replicated because I left the medical and dental school ten years ago, and don't get the chance to get updates - but I've never been to the hygienist since, my teeth are excellent (and I'm 66) and other than a couple of replacements for old amalgam fillings, I have needed nothing except my check ups.

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