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AIBU?

Friend and messy toilet

107 replies

GeraldineFangedVagine · 20/01/2020 12:13

I had a friend round with her daughter last week. For background, I’ve just had sepsis, jaundice two procedures in a week under GA and almost died. I was in hospital two weeks and am still having IV antibiotics at home via a long term line in my arm.
Her daughter (5) used the loo and made a mess. She told her mum, and then her mum told me. I said I need to be really careful about infection with this line, I can’t clean it. She looked at me sort of nonplussed but left it. I then cleaned it because she made no move to and went to and repeated that it was a mess. I couldn’t just leave it, because my other half wasn’t home till much later.
Was she being unreasonable to just leave it? It’s totally changed how I feel about her! I am not the Poo Troll btw.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

776 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
1%
You are NOT being unreasonable
99%
Aebj · 20/01/2020 12:16

That’s not fair. I would of asked where the cleaning equipment was and done it .

Sexnotgender · 20/01/2020 12:16

She was a dick.

CakeandCustard28 · 20/01/2020 12:16

I wouldn’t invite them round anymore.

Stefoscope · 20/01/2020 12:17

YANBU. I wouldn't have them over again after that.

SweetpeaOrMarigold · 20/01/2020 12:17

Cheeky cow. She should have cleaned it. I would have been embarrassed enough to clean it up whether my friend was at risk or not!

Paddy1234 · 20/01/2020 12:17

Wow - bad behaviour from your friend

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/01/2020 12:17

She would be an ex friend after that,

kaldefotter · 20/01/2020 12:19

Urgh. Don't let her in your house again. So grim.

Ishotmrburns · 20/01/2020 12:20

That's quite shocking. I would never expect someone else to clean up my child's shit, never mind my sick friend. In your house, no less! Horrible behaviour.

I would find a new friend.

GeraldineFangedVagine · 20/01/2020 12:20

I am so glad I’m not going mad. My MIL asked my wife to go and help her and has D and V and so she refused and MIL has similarly fallen out with us. Are people just clueless? I wouldn’t have even thought twice about sorting it out.
The friend actually came to ask me to a special event and I feel like declining now. It’s really really upset me! Should I just slowly drop out of contact?

OP posts:
NoWeAreNotNearlyThereYet · 20/01/2020 12:20

Even if you weren't ill the dirty cow should have cleaned it. I mean who leaves that for someone else to clean?

Gruffalosandbuffalos · 20/01/2020 12:20

Regardless of your health issues at the minute if my child made a mess in someone’s else’s toilet I would ask them where they kept the cleaning stuff so I could sort it.

2020BetterBeBetter · 20/01/2020 12:21

YANBU and sorry, I clicked on YABU when I scrolled down.

I can understand if she was going to wait and clean it before she left but clearly that wasn’t the case as she must have sat there and effectively stared at a blank wall whilst you were busy cleaning. I’d also query whether her child was well to have made that mess which makes her extra selfish to have brought a poorly child round your house.

vacayonmymind · 20/01/2020 12:22

The fact that you are sick is irrelevant really. You clean up your kids mess regardless. WTF made her think you would want to clean up her kids shit?!?!

What a weirdo.

Curiosity101 · 20/01/2020 12:22

As a PP said - regardless of your current situation if it were my child I'd have offered to clean it up. But given your current situation if they're you're friend then they absolutely 110% should have cleaned it up.

CakeandCustard28 · 20/01/2020 12:22

Yep just drop contact. She clearly doesn’t give a toss about you to risk you getting another infection.

coconutpie · 20/01/2020 12:23

That would be the end of the friendship for me. She has just shown how little she thinks of you.

TopOftheNaughtyList · 20/01/2020 12:23

As PP said, I would have asked for cleaning products to do it myself, regardless of whether the host had any form of illness. It's just good manners to clean up your own mess. I'm gobsmacked that she didn't even offer. I hope you make a full recovery very soon OP.

Hidingtonothing · 20/01/2020 12:23

I would have put the cleaning stuff in her hands and told her to clean it in your position OP, she's no friend to leave you to do it when she knew it was a risk to your health. In her shoes I would have insisted I clean up after my child, you don't leave a mess in someone else's house regardless of infection risk. I'm sorry she was an arse Flowers

GeraldineFangedVagine · 20/01/2020 12:24

Thanks everyone. I can’t believe I even questioned myself! I’m pretty sad as I considered her quite a good friend and usually very thoughtful. I’m quite new to this area so rely on my other half’s family and the few people I know here quite a bit.

OP posts:
sarahjconnor · 20/01/2020 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BestestBrownies · 20/01/2020 12:27

She is no friend.

A friend would care enough about you not to put you at risk like that.

A friend would respect your home and wouldn’t have to think twice about cleaning up after their own kid.

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WorraLiberty · 20/01/2020 12:30

You know she was being unreasonable, you have no reason to ask that.

But why did you clean it instead of making her do it?

ColaFreezePop · 20/01/2020 12:31

Please choose better friends.

It doesn't matter whether you are sick or not, if someone makes a mess in your toilet or their child does they should clean it.

TheyWentToSeaInASieve · 20/01/2020 12:32

Poor you. Hope you are on the mend! Don't invite anybody with a five-year-old in your current state. Children that young are exposed to and pick up so many infections (while they develop their own immune system) that she is bound to bring something you would not normally be subjected to! (And I cannot believe your so-called friend!)

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