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Friend and messy toilet

(108 Posts)
GeraldineFangedVagine Mon 20-Jan-20 12:13:43

I had a friend round with her daughter last week. For background, I’ve just had sepsis, jaundice two procedures in a week under GA and almost died. I was in hospital two weeks and am still having IV antibiotics at home via a long term line in my arm.
Her daughter (5) used the loo and made a mess. She told her mum, and then her mum told me. I said I need to be really careful about infection with this line, I can’t clean it. She looked at me sort of nonplussed but left it. I then cleaned it because she made no move to and went to and repeated that it was a mess. I couldn’t just leave it, because my other half wasn’t home till much later.
Was she being unreasonable to just leave it? It’s totally changed how I feel about her! I am not the Poo Troll btw.

Aebj Mon 20-Jan-20 12:16:10

That’s not fair. I would of asked where the cleaning equipment was and done it .

Sexnotgender Mon 20-Jan-20 12:16:23

She was a dick.

CakeandCustard28 Mon 20-Jan-20 12:16:54

I wouldn’t invite them round anymore.

Stefoscope Mon 20-Jan-20 12:17:12

YANBU. I wouldn't have them over again after that.

SweetpeaOrMarigold Mon 20-Jan-20 12:17:16

Cheeky cow. She should have cleaned it. I would have been embarrassed enough to clean it up whether my friend was at risk or not!

PinkSparklyPussyCat Mon 20-Jan-20 12:17:42

She would be an ex friend after that,

Paddy1234 Mon 20-Jan-20 12:17:42

Wow - bad behaviour from your friend

kaldefotter Mon 20-Jan-20 12:19:07

Urgh. Don't let her in your house again. So grim.

Ishotmrburns Mon 20-Jan-20 12:20:46

That's quite shocking. I would never expect someone else to clean up my child's shit, never mind my sick friend. In your house, no less! Horrible behaviour.

I would find a new friend.

GeraldineFangedVagine Mon 20-Jan-20 12:20:52

I am so glad I’m not going mad. My MIL asked my wife to go and help her and has D and V and so she refused and MIL has similarly fallen out with us. Are people just clueless? I wouldn’t have even thought twice about sorting it out.
The friend actually came to ask me to a special event and I feel like declining now. It’s really really upset me! Should I just slowly drop out of contact?

NoWeAreNotNearlyThereYet Mon 20-Jan-20 12:20:54

Even if you weren't ill the dirty cow should have cleaned it. I mean who leaves that for someone else to clean?

Gruffalosandbuffalos Mon 20-Jan-20 12:20:54

Regardless of your health issues at the minute if my child made a mess in someone’s else’s toilet I would ask them where they kept the cleaning stuff so I could sort it.

2020BetterBeBetter Mon 20-Jan-20 12:21:42

YANBU and sorry, I clicked on YABU when I scrolled down.

I can understand if she was going to wait and clean it before she left but clearly that wasn’t the case as she must have sat there and effectively stared at a blank wall whilst you were busy cleaning. I’d also query whether her child was well to have made that mess which makes her extra selfish to have brought a poorly child round your house.

vacayonmymind Mon 20-Jan-20 12:22:04

The fact that you are sick is irrelevant really. You clean up your kids mess regardless. WTF made her think you would want to clean up her kids shit?!?!

What a weirdo.

Curiosity101 Mon 20-Jan-20 12:22:19

As a PP said - regardless of your current situation if it were my child I'd have offered to clean it up. But given your current situation if they're you're friend then they absolutely 110% should have cleaned it up.

CakeandCustard28 Mon 20-Jan-20 12:22:44

Yep just drop contact. She clearly doesn’t give a toss about you to risk you getting another infection.

coconutpie Mon 20-Jan-20 12:23:06

That would be the end of the friendship for me. She has just shown how little she thinks of you.

TopOftheNaughtyList Mon 20-Jan-20 12:23:26

As PP said, I would have asked for cleaning products to do it myself, regardless of whether the host had any form of illness. It's just good manners to clean up your own mess. I'm gobsmacked that she didn't even offer. I hope you make a full recovery very soon OP.

Hidingtonothing Mon 20-Jan-20 12:23:51

I would have put the cleaning stuff in her hands and told her to clean it in your position OP, she's no friend to leave you to do it when she knew it was a risk to your health. In her shoes I would have insisted I clean up after my child, you don't leave a mess in someone else's house regardless of infection risk. I'm sorry she was an arse flowers

GeraldineFangedVagine Mon 20-Jan-20 12:24:12

Thanks everyone. I can’t believe I even questioned myself! I’m pretty sad as I considered her quite a good friend and usually very thoughtful. I’m quite new to this area so rely on my other half’s family and the few people I know here quite a bit.

sarahjconnor Mon 20-Jan-20 12:26:23

Why did you clean it? Don’t risk your health for social niceties. I would have told her straight that she had to clean it and if she refused asked her to leave immediately. Really nasty behaviour, she is no friend.

BestestBrownies Mon 20-Jan-20 12:27:01

She is no friend.

A friend would care enough about you not to put you at risk like that.

A friend would respect your home and wouldn’t have to think twice about cleaning up after their own kid.

WorraLiberty Mon 20-Jan-20 12:30:14

You know she was being unreasonable, you have no reason to ask that.

But why did you clean it instead of making her do it?

ColaFreezePop Mon 20-Jan-20 12:31:38

Please choose better friends.

It doesn't matter whether you are sick or not, if someone makes a mess in your toilet or their child does they should clean it.

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