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AIBU to be upset my sister deliberately regifted me a present I gave her?!

(68 Posts)
SweetSmellingAlstroemeria Sun 19-Jan-20 20:49:40

I opened a birthday card and present from my sister today to find she has regifted me a pair of earrings I gave to her over a year ago. It's not an accident as she wrote in her card "I know you'll like one of your presents as you told me so & you were right they're not really my style. Can you guess yet?". The other present was some bath oil (I rarely take baths but unlike her I would be too polite to tell her this, and I'm sure I'll use it up over time). We have never had a discussion about her not liking the earrings. They were part of a Christmas present in 2018 so all I can think is perhaps when I gave them to her I joked that if she didn't like them then I'd have them, although I have no memory of this. I'm not upset she didn't like them, just that she has regifted them to me. If she had told me she didn't like them at the time then I would have happily offered to get her something else instead. Surely she could have re-gifted them to someone else or given to a charity shop rather than giving them back to me? She has a good job and is financially comfortable so money isn't an issue. She can be quite blunt whereas I admit I'm quite sensitive, but AIBU to be hurt and annoyed by what she did? She's bound to roll her eyes and say I'm being overly sensitive if I say anything but I cannot understand how anyone thinks this is a nice thing to do to someone on their birthday!

haverhill Sun 19-Jan-20 20:52:29

It’s rather insensitive, yes, but it sounds like you have a different outlooks. Do you generally get on?

Frenchw1fe Sun 19-Jan-20 20:53:48

Turn it into a sisterly joke and regift them back on her birthday. It will save you money and she can hardly complain.

SweetSmellingAlstroemeria Sun 19-Jan-20 20:55:24

@haverhill we usually get on (occasional disagreements like most siblings), but yes you're right we do have very different outlooks.

clippityclop Sun 19-Jan-20 20:58:36

Perhaps she's had an expensive Christmas, saving up for something or simply cutting back? Perhaps she genuinely thought you would be pleased if you'd said you liked them? Unless there's more to this I would say thank you, enjoy the earrings and move on.

haverhill Sun 19-Jan-20 21:13:23

Plenty of people are trying to buy less and be more eco conscious. Maybe that was her motivation?
I’d chalk it up to a rather thoughtless gesture on your sister’s part that wasn’t malicious.

Sally872 Sun 19-Jan-20 21:17:41

I would rather have the earrings back as a gift rather than charity. It's a bit direct but from my sister i would see it as openness/funny rather than be hurt.

If money is no issue (and you dont truly know that it isnt because jan is a tight month for most) then either she was disorganised, or she has been having a clear out and genuinely remembered you like them.

redcarbluecar Sun 19-Jan-20 21:22:15

I think that’s weird and a bit tight of her (she could have just given you the earrings back; didn’t need to make a bday pres of them) but perhaps not hugely important in the grand scheme. Careful about spending too much time/money on gifts to her in future. Meanwhile, do you like the earrings?

Floralnomad Sun 19-Jan-20 21:27:13

Because if the accompanying note I’d say it’s been done in good humour on her side so I think you are probably being over sensitive . Do you like the earrings ?

Faradayay Sun 19-Jan-20 21:30:29

Were they an expensive gift you put a lot of thought into?

It seems that she's treating it as a joke so I would be inclined to carry the joke on every birthday and christmas to eternity.

Halloweenbabyy Sun 19-Jan-20 21:32:15

I’d be so upset by this. It sounds like she’s been a cow tbh.

SweetSmellingAlstroemeria Sun 19-Jan-20 21:33:05

I do like the earrings but I've already got some very similar ones so think I'll just donate them to a charity raffle and hope they find a new home!

Mrsmadevans Sun 19-Jan-20 21:34:11

She sounds like a narc

MrsCasares Sun 19-Jan-20 21:34:32

It’s a mean thing to do. You could always buy her a pair of cheap plastic earrings and gift them to her for her birthday.

Hepsibar Sun 19-Jan-20 21:36:34

Just give her money or a voucher in the future.

daisypond Sun 19-Jan-20 21:37:28

This wouldn’t bother me at all and I wouldn’t be upset. It sounds humorous and light hearted.

justjuggling Sun 19-Jan-20 21:39:41

My sister did something similar! I gave her vouchers for a local swanky spa. 6 months I got them back on my birthday! Thoroughly enjoyed my time at the spa!! 😂

user1493494961 Sun 19-Jan-20 21:40:54

Agree with daisypond.

damnthatanxiety Sun 19-Jan-20 21:41:22

I can see an alternative thread where someones sister gives the earrings to charity and the OP complains 'why did she give them away, she could have given them back to me'....

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou Sun 19-Jan-20 21:41:54

It sounds like she thinks you bought her earrings that you would like, rather than what she would like.

And she's making a bitchy point of telling you that.

HollowTalk Sun 19-Jan-20 21:44:59

If she didn't like them and thought you would, why didn't she offer them to you before this? Giving them to you as a birthday present is nasty and cheap.

DarklyDreamingDexter Sun 19-Jan-20 21:45:32

Yes, it does sound a bit off to give them as a birthday present. I would say something like, ‘Yes, I did like these which is why i bought myself some almost identical two years ago. Now I’ve got two very similar pairs. Oh well, charity shop I suppose...And thanks for the bath oil, although you know I don’t take baths unlike you.” Then regift her the bath oil for her birthday so she knows how it feels! If she’s use to being blunt, let’s see if she can take it as well as dish it out.

MyNewBearTotoro Sun 19-Jan-20 21:46:03

I think you’re being over sensitive. It sounds like she gave them to you because she genuinely thought you would like them and it’s not like she’s trying to pretend that she bought them or pass them off as anything other than what they are. I don’t think it was done with any intention to be rude or to offend and sounds like she was trying to give something you’d like.

Lordamighty Sun 19-Jan-20 21:47:06

I would use it as an opportunity to stop exchanging gifts with her.

Fanniesyeraunt Sun 19-Jan-20 21:48:53

I think that’s quite a passive- aggressive thing to do. Or maybe just aggressive-aggressive! My sister would never ever do something like this and neither would I. She sounds quite nasty imo.

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