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To think this is a bit weird?

(148 Posts)
poppymatilda Sun 19-Jan-20 20:47:20

So my mum sometimes comes to visit. For context: She's a bit difficult/eccentric and I find her visits a bit challenging but I go along with them because it's better than going to her house and I want DD to know her granny - anyway that's a whole other story and not the subject of this post.

One thing she often does when she visits is change into her nighty at tea time. She'll then have dinner with us and sit downstairs all evening in just her nighty, no underwear or anything. She put her legs up on the sofa the other day and flashed DH! She's in her late 60s and wears t-shirt material nighties from M&S. Is it me or is this a bit odd?

My DH and I don't stand on ceremony at home - I'll usually change into a hoody and leggings when I get home for the day but somehow that seems a bit different to me than a nighty. When I suggested she wear clothes in the evening she got all defensive and said I should make her feel at home in my house not dictate how she dresses which made me think IABU...

Oddbins Sun 19-Jan-20 20:49:19

YANBU she needs to put some underwear on. Exposing herself isn't on.

DeathStare Sun 19-Jan-20 20:49:37

That's really weird. Is she bad with appropriate boundaries more generally?

ioioitsoff Sun 19-Jan-20 20:52:04

That's unacceptable. I like to change into casual clothes or pjs when I get in but always wear leggings as I like to sit with my legs up under me.

user1493413286 Sun 19-Jan-20 20:53:54

She needs to wear underwear; I wouldn’t really care about the nightie but not to have anything under it is grim until she actually goes to bed

WireBrushAndDettolMaam Sun 19-Jan-20 20:56:13

109% of people think YANBU! grin

poppymatilda Sun 19-Jan-20 20:58:43

It's not just the lack of knickers that bother me, it's also that she doesn't wear a bra and obviously the nighty has no structure so her boobs are flobbing about all over the place too. I just feel a bit embarassed particularly as MIL is always so well turned out and elegant, I wonder what DH must make of it!

MyHairNeedsASnip Sun 19-Jan-20 20:59:49

Turn the heating down, that'll stop her wafting around in a nighty grin I'm bloody freezing here

SameOldHorrorStory Sun 19-Jan-20 21:00:25

Very strange. YANBU. I would start to arrange days out instead until she gave in on the nighty.

wildcherries Sun 19-Jan-20 21:00:26

No underwear is just not OK. I could deal with the nightwear (if I had to), but no underwear is unacceptable. Tell her being comfortable goes both ways. You, your DH and your child do not need to see her like that.

GrannyBags Sun 19-Jan-20 21:01:07

That’s not on. Not pleasant for DH or DD to be seeing something they shouldn’t. What if a friend of neighbour were to call round? Fine in her own home if that’s her choice but not in yours.

YummyBelicious Sun 19-Jan-20 21:03:00


In addition, congratulations on the excellent use of the word 'flobbing'

SweetSmellingAlstroemeria Sun 19-Jan-20 21:04:03

Definitely weird! Maybe your husband should strut around with just a t-shirt on and no underwear and then see how she feels about it!!!

SayitBeit Sun 19-Jan-20 21:04:32


She's doing it on purpose.

What would people say if their fil kept swinging his cock through the gap in his dressing gown?

slipperywhensparticus Sun 19-Jan-20 21:05:27

My friends mom did this but it was in her own home her response was that its clean and paid for and we didn't have to look

We really didn't look

ilovepixie Sun 19-Jan-20 21:06:55

I love getting my nightie on when I get home from work but I wouldn't do it in someone else's house.

Icanflyhigh Sun 19-Jan-20 21:07:00

Holy hell fire if my mother graced us with her presence wearing just a nightie I'd get a blanket over her pronto. DP does not need to see that!!

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 Sun 19-Jan-20 21:08:31

YANBU. Does she know she flashed her minge at your husband? If not, tell her. That will probably send her packing.

poppymatilda Sun 19-Jan-20 21:09:58

@sayitbeit - What would people say if their fil kept swinging his cock through the gap in his dressing gown?

Flipping heck that's not an image that'll leave me anytime soon! shock

ElderAve Sun 19-Jan-20 21:11:29

Blimey. One extreme to the other, but I've never seen my mum downstairs without being fully dressed. Never at her house or mine, even when I was a child.

I just can't comprehend the situation you describe OP

poppymatilda Sun 19-Jan-20 21:13:00

@ElderAve I'd take your situation over mine any day!

ChristmasBaubles Sun 19-Jan-20 21:17:47

Have a guest dressing gown hanging up in her room when she visits? (Insist she wears it confused)

Taddda Sun 19-Jan-20 21:23:15

@YummyBelicious 🤣 congrats of the excellent use of the word 'flobbing'

Chochito Sun 19-Jan-20 21:29:18

Like the dressing gown idea.

No need to embarrass her, just tell her to cover up.

Buggedandconfused Sun 19-Jan-20 21:29:48

I would just say ‘mum we can see your parts’ if mine did that. Or ‘mum, ‘put it away’.

It’s not normal!!

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