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Aibu asking DH not to drink at kids bedtime

(109 Posts)
Serendipitykj Sun 19-Jan-20 19:08:40

DH drinks too much IMO, however I'm not bringing it up as I know how much of an argument that'll cause.
He tends to rake a bottle of beer in to the kids rooms whilst reading bedtime stories (8 and 6) aibu to raise it as an issue?

jemimafuddleduck Sun 19-Jan-20 19:09:37

YANBU. This isn't normal behaviour.

virginpinkmartini Sun 19-Jan-20 19:12:20

Your kids will remember that daddy had to drink to spend time with them.
Ignoring his excessive drinking to prevent arguments is doing your children a huge disservice.

ElderAve Sun 19-Jan-20 19:14:03

Actually, I think settling down with a beer to relax and read the bedtime stories is quite a nice picture, if it's part of a generally moderate drinking pattern, so it's not really the beer at bedtime that's the issue.

TruffleShuffles Sun 19-Jan-20 19:16:22

How much does he drink?

CodenameVillanelle Sun 19-Jan-20 19:17:00

I think you need to have the conversation about his drinking.

BigusBumus Sun 19-Jan-20 19:18:26

Mumsnet makes me laugh. Of course it's fine to have a drink during story time ffs.

AgnusandMagnus Sun 19-Jan-20 19:21:26

I don't see an issue with having a drink during bedtime stories but if it's part of a bigger picture then no it's not ok.

Berrymuch Sun 19-Jan-20 19:21:36

Yes it is an issue.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily Sun 19-Jan-20 19:22:24

Stinking of beer while reading a bedtime story to your kids, is not ‘fine’. Anyone who can’t wait for a few minutes to settle their children, is putting their own needs first, over their child’s quality time with them. It’s not on.

DisasterMagnet Sun 19-Jan-20 19:23:51

I’ll take a glass of wine upstairs in an evening when I’m spending time with the kids. Whether that’s tidying up with them/having stories/pottering etc. I don’t need one but I enjoy it. There’s two issues here, 1) you think he drinks too much and 2) you don’t like him having a beer when he reads the kids story.

Lenny1980 Sun 19-Jan-20 19:24:02

Shock horror: parent has a drink during early evening!

Not at all a problem in itself. My DH often takes a beer for bath time.

Wolfiefan Sun 19-Jan-20 19:24:47

You think he drinks too much?
Or he drinks too much?

Sadiee88 Sun 19-Jan-20 19:26:08

No that is not normal, can’t he do without it for half hour.

stophuggingme Sun 19-Jan-20 19:26:48

Bloody hell......get the tar and feathers out

If he has a drink problem then that’s one thing
Having a beer in the evening while reading to your kids and putting them to bed as part of your evening as a normal parent is not exactly the crime of the century

Unless there is a bigger issue lurking ......

AmazingGreats Sun 19-Jan-20 19:27:07

One of my fondest sets of memories of my Dad are him reading me a story with a little bottled beer or two (but quite possibly the whole six pack shock) then in the morning heading to the towns bottle bank to throw his empties away and singing the "five green bottles sitting on a wall" song. I liked that he was spending the time with me and didn't care if he was tipsy (although I don't remember him ever being tipsy, certainly never drunk)

TheBigFatMermaid Sun 19-Jan-20 19:28:43

I missed a trick here, I never thought to get DP to take a beer up to do the bedtime story! He would have done it a lot more often, if I had suggested that!

In all seriousness though, how much does he drink? If it's just that one, yabu! If more, then, I don't know! We need more info!

MonstranceClock Sun 19-Jan-20 19:29:41

I fucking hate reading bedtime stories. If I drank alcohol, I’m sure I would do the same as your husband too!

zeeboo Sun 19-Jan-20 19:29:46

If he drinks too much then that's a big issue. But having a beer at the kids bedtime is what SO many women do with their post tea time "wine o'clock" that is somehow considered cute because Mummy bloggers do it. If he was having a nice Merlot people would be much less judgy because beer is seen as low brow.
Every night I would go, freshly bathed and pyjama'd to kiss my Dad good night. My memories of feeling safe and happy involve the smell of the scotch he would be drinking (and the pipe smoke) my father never has or had a drink problem, he was just enjoying a drink so I don't agree with a previous poster who said your children will grow up knowing he thought more of beer than of them. For a start, he's reading to them! My Dad was far too traditional for that and as I said, he always made me feel loved and safe.

But, your suspicion is that he has a drink problem and that is the worry, not the specific time when he chooses to have a beer.

NaughtyLittleElf Sun 19-Jan-20 19:30:48

I wouldn't like that personally, seems unnecessary to be drinking alcohol during bedtime stories, but I was raised in a teetotal house and very rarely drink at one so I appreciate my view may be skewed.

midwintermorning Sun 19-Jan-20 19:33:43


Firsttimemama2017 Sun 19-Jan-20 19:34:59

I wouldn't like this but not sure why. I think it's the act of taking the beer upstairs to do stories.

virginpinkmartini Sun 19-Jan-20 19:35:38

hmm If the dad was just having a drink of beer while reading the odd story... Whatever. Pick your battles. But that's not what the OP said. It's a problem. And the fact that it has now extended to the children's bedtime is normalising it further.

It's not pearl-clutching. The OP literally said his drinking is excessive and this is an extension of that. He can't even read the kids a story without a drink.

NeedAUsernameGenerator Sun 19-Jan-20 19:36:44

I don't drink every day but I might have a glass of wine on a Friday night before my kids go to bed. Is it the time of day that you object to, doing it in their room or doing it every day?

DiegoSaber Sun 19-Jan-20 19:38:16

It's not pearl-clutching. The OP literally said his drinking is excessive and this is an extension of that. He can't even read the kids a story without a drink

I refuse to consider the full context! That just makes arguing online more difficult!

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