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AIBU to still be so angry about this

(97 Posts)
eyesbiggerthanstomach Sat 18-Jan-20 21:57:44

I went to Bills restaurant today. It was only me and my nearly 2 year old DS.

I wasn't going to mention where we ate but I think it's relevant i.e. a family friendly place. It was around 3pm.

I sat down and there was a couple on the table next to me late 40s/early 50s or so. DS was in his high chair and as soon as he sat down he started moaning and crying. He was fairly loud but not hysterical or anything. I gave him my iPhone which didn't calm him down and he was insistent on having the sugar cubes from the jar on the table which I obviously couldn't give him in case he choked.

Anyway, I managed to get the attention of the waitress and ordered some bread. While I was ordering it I heard the man next to me say to the woman he was with something along the lines of they should have different sections in restaurants for children and then he went on to talk about how airlines were going to do the same thing.

By this point I would say DS was crying for 1-2 minutes max. So not long at all and as I say not piercing hysterical crying more loud whinging.

Waitress left. The man then turned to me in a strop and said "thank you for that". Meaning my DS who was still crying. I told him that if he didn't want to go to a family friendly restaurant then he should have gone to the Michelin star restaurant a few doors down.

They stayed quiet for a few mins and then he pipes up to her that "it's the parents' fault" and then loudly says to me that his mum would take him out when he was younger if he created a fuss.

I told him that we were just waiting for food and DS would be fine in a couple of minutes but is too young to be patient or understand but that as an adult he should be patient.

I mentioned it to the waitress who was back at my table and she offered to move them but they said they were fine where they were. She was lovely and offered to move me only if I wanted to but I said that they were the ones with the problem I wasn't moving.

Food arrived and DS was then as good as gold and there was no peep from him.

Inside I was really upset. I don't know why. Even now I feel a bit tense. The waitress apologised to me when they left. There was also a grandad who was with his adult children and granddaughter who cake up to me after he finished his meal and was really nice.

Inside I was so embarrassed though. I just wanted to run and hide and cry. I work f/t and am going through a separation. I like to spend my Saturdays with DS doing an activity and then having a nice lunch. Things like that though just make me dread being alone after my separation from DH as I will have to deal with this kind of crap on my own.

I still feel quite upset about it.

I would add (and this is the only thing that makes me feel better) that I later realised from the conversation he was having with his lady friend that they were on a first date! A part of me thinks his dickish behaviour was a stupid attempt to impress his lady with some kind of macho dominant behaviour I don't know but I still feel upset by the confrontation!

User123538025264653412 Sat 18-Jan-20 22:16:29

Some people hate kids. I once booked into the family section of the Eurostar with DD when she was about 2. As it happens on that day the other families were all parents of young babies who happened to be asleep so DD was the only awake child on the carriage but it was the carriage for families with young kids. I was nervous as it was my first journey alone with DD without DH and she can be a bit hyper.

The couple next to us looked early 50s no kids with them but they looked like they had bought half the M&S food section with them as a picnic, including little bottles of wine, and proceeded to get it all out. DD was really excited to be on the train but was actually being uncharacteristically good. Spent the entire time chatting to me at normal volume and pointing out of the window. This sour faced old couple spent the entire time giving me death stares and rolling their eyes every time DD spoke; the carriage happened to be quite quiet apart from us as there were lots of sleeping babies (DD wasn't loud enough to wake them up or bother anyone). I could hear them making comments the entire time "oh for goodness sake does she need to point out every sheep" etc. I hated it and felt awful at the time but they were just a nasty pair (who should have not booked onto the bloody family carriage in the first place).

User123538025264653412 Sat 18-Jan-20 22:17:26

(Sorry OP that was meant to be a story to make you feel better and let you know it happens to all of us and you should just ignore it but reading it back it sounds like I've derailed your thread with my own story!)

pineing Sat 18-Jan-20 22:17:35

How horrible for you, that was really unpleasant of him.

PawPatrolMakesMeDrink Sat 18-Jan-20 22:20:16

They need to fuck right off. Arseholes.
You take yourself and that boy out and do your thing.

KellyHall Sat 18-Jan-20 22:22:15

Some people are arseholes. I'm so sorry that there were some trying to ruin your family meal and that your separation makes you feel more vulnerable in such situations.

You handled it very well - by staying calm and making sure your family all had a nice meal so your enduring feelings should be that you're proud of yourself. Turn a negative in to a positive.

randomchap Sat 18-Jan-20 22:22:33

Some people are dicks. Don't waste your time stressing about them. They are just arseholes.

Family restaurants = noisy children. You did nothing wrong.

peachgreen Sat 18-Jan-20 22:24:09

You handled it perfectly. Well done OP.

Stayawayfromitsmouth Sat 18-Jan-20 22:25:37

He was a selfish dick. I hope his date realises and dumps him.
Don't be embarrassed.
I went to a cafe yesterday and my 3yo decided to chase his 2yo friend around and kept dodging me as me and friend tried to stop them. That was embarrassing. No one in the busy cafe said a word or even seemed to notice.

emilybrontescorsett Sat 18-Jan-20 22:29:10

I have no idea what Bills is, but if it's a family type place then the man was a dick.
Who goes there on a first date and then complains about dissembling a noise?

MindYours Sat 18-Jan-20 22:41:04

I'm not child friendly, I avoid them at all costs. Because of that I pay more to go for a peaceful meal where I know they won't be and I'm fine with that. I don't go to Hungry Horses or Harvesters anymore because of other people's kids... he should have loosened the purse strings and done the same!

glasgow357 Sat 18-Jan-20 22:42:19

To be fair Bills isn't exactly a family restaurant.

frazzledasarock Sat 18-Jan-20 22:43:09

Years ago when I was also going thro a horrendous divorce I decided to take my dc on a break to Cornwall. My dc were I think 7 & 8 or thereabouts.

On way home, we went and sat at our (reserved) seats, I got food and colouring and books out for my dc. We had not moved yet and my dc has not made any loud noise, or anything they were settling into their seats and the food was just biscuits and juice so nothing pungent.

Train loves off my dc are silent and I notice a middle aged woman keep staring at us. My dc were completely silent, one was colouring in and the other reading.

The weirdo lady sitting in the opposite aisle suddenly stood up and said to me. I’m going to move as I wanted to travel in silence and I don’t want to be disturbed. I looked at her and said something like ‘OK’.

The weird woman went and sat a few rows behind us.
Imagine my delight when at the next station a bunch of very happy, rather drunk, very loud young lads got on and proceeded to be very loud and cheerful. The were sat right by her 😂

My two one fell asleep and the other continued to colour in.

I felt really awful about it for ages tho. I couldn’t fathom why the woman felt the need to even speak to me, she could simply have got up and moved seats but she wanted to cause me upset for some reason:

frazzledasarock Sat 18-Jan-20 22:44:45

She actually said she was moving because my children disturb her and she couldn’t stand the incessant chatting (they weren’t chatting none of us were).

alifelived Sat 18-Jan-20 22:47:10

Think no more of it.

You’re having a hard enough time as it is and this doesn’t need anymore of your attention.

I took my 18 month old out to dinner tonight and he thankfully watched peppa until last 5 minutes where he tried to pick the ice cream out the bowl and launch it at his brother who’s 5 and was gleeful at this show of “disobedience” 😂

we made a sharp exit. 🥴😬

Dominoz Sat 18-Jan-20 22:55:36

Bills 100% is a family restaurant. You did nothing wrong. Some people are twats.

Rosehipbubbles Sat 18-Jan-20 22:58:12

Some people think the worst - when my dd were littilesh ~ 4&6- we went first class from London to Newcastle. When we got to our table I could see the older lady at the seat opposite give us a horrible look like we had just given her a death sentence. My dd were good as gold and they have been brought up to respect others in shared spaces, helped enormously by the free food! As we were getting off the lady said to me how wonderful behaved my dd were and that she had initially been devastated when we got on as we were going to spoil her first class treat! Goes to show that some people think and expect the worst and it's not worth dwelling on anymore.

Cherrysoup Sat 18-Jan-20 23:08:10

Bet he doesn’t get a 2nd date given his shitty behaviour.

RockinHippy Sat 18-Jan-20 23:25:39

Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one & some are a bit shitty.

If you were doing all you could & your DS wasn't screaming the place down & nobody else was looking bothered, then somebodies else's shitty opinion really isn't something to worry about as it says everything about them & nothing about you. There's always going to be one, that's life. Ignore & move on

Rubixcuube Sat 18-Jan-20 23:54:38

He sounds like a A* prick and pit of order!

However there are plenty of child/family friendly places to eat, so I do sometimes wonder why people take their babies/young children to places that are a bit more up market and clearly aren’t family oriented. Ie they are not aimed at young children and don’t cater for them.

When people are paying high prices for meals etc I can see why they would be a bit annoyed with a screaming baby on the next table. I say this as someone that’s got two children 12 & 7 and there’s certain places I wouldn’t chose to take them as I don’t want to be on pins. As I say there’s plenty of choice for family friendly restaurants

thrre Sat 18-Jan-20 23:59:05

Bills is a family restaurant, you handled the situation well.

ColdCottage Sun 19-Jan-20 00:12:23

Poor you. You acted just as I would. Polite, assertive enough and stuck to your table.

Try and forget it and think about the nice day you had with your little doing things together.

BettyAll1 Sun 19-Jan-20 00:53:17

What a horrible experience, I’m not surprised you feel shaken. You handled it well.

managedmis Sun 19-Jan-20 01:09:58

No idea what Bills is but no way I would have taken DS to a restaurant when he was 2.

It's not fair on the other diners. I'm on the side of the man who called you out.

RockinHippy Sun 19-Jan-20 01:15:18

We have Bills here & it's exactly the sort of place you would go with kids. I don't go now that mine are older as I'd rather not, but it was great when younger.

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