Would you have a baby at 45?

[84wood]

Hello

I am considering having another baby. We’ve already got a lovely DC who’s 5 and we’ve really enjoyed being parents. I had a trouble free pregnancy and had my child privately so I’m lucky to know all the best doctors and units. I’m also in very good health. It would be a bit of a financial struggle as DC is in a private school but not impossible. How would you feel? Would you try?
Thanks so much for reading and for any advice.

[PaprikaPringle]

Yes.

[IHadADreamWhichWasNotAllADream]

No I wouldn’t. And if my DP was older than me then I definitely wouldn’t.

[ChanklyBore]

I would not.

My children will be adults when I am 45. I would not start again. I believe it would be riskier for me, my baby and for my family unit.

I know the risk of miscarriage is so much higher, and I would not be prepared to go through that experience again.

[Nuttyaboutnutella]

No personally I wouldn't.

[ncqtime]

Personally, no. Hell no. 35 is my cut off. I wouldn't want the injections and support stockings and general extra worry from elderly bits.

[Catapillarsruletheworld]

Absolutely no way in hell!

But I had my kids young, so would be a 26 year age gap eldest to youngest.

Ultimately it’s your choice, but I do think that 45 is a bit old. You’d be 60 with a 15 year old! I could t even imagine that. My dd is 15 and she wouldn’t like to essentially have her grandma as a mother.

[eminencegrise]

No, no, I would not. The fact is that more and more conditions increase with parental age; there is increasing evidence that autism, which cannot be screened for prenatally, does. For every anecdote about women getting pregnant on accident between 45-50 and having beautiful healthy babies there are a dozen more with negative outcomes or who never become pregnant.

Quit whilst you're ahead.

[lavenderhidcote]

Absolutely not, for the child's sake if nothing else.

[BikeRunSki]

No (I did have one at very nearly 41 though). I don’t want the potential of someone still being financially dependent on me when I’m 70!

[24hourshomeedderandcarer]

i would im 39 now and health wise im no different than i was a 24 and 30

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

No way. I had mine much younger and they will also be adults/nearly adults by the time I’m 45.

[LilyJade]

Yes I'm 43 & childless with a lot of health problems (long story) but if my health problems could disappear I'd definitely try having a baby IF I had the money & support available.

[IM0GEN]

It depends. How does your partner feel? How will it impact your career plans ? How much of a financial struggle would it be ?

[mamaduckbone]

Personally, no.
My mum was 42 when she had me and I'm now in my early 40s with a very elderly mum who was always much older and more out of touch than my friends' parents. She has been far less able to be involved with my children and won't see them grow to adulthood. That makes me sad - I always vowed that I wouldn't do that to my kids.
But ultimately it's your choice.

[NoFun21]

No. My mother had me at 46 snd I have found this very difficult in many ways particularly now when I need her help and she cannot give it.

[Cloudyyy]

Personally, no I wouldn’t.

[CheesePleaseLoueese]

No. 40 is a hard cut off for me (and even then ideally I'd have stopped sooner...)

[LilyJade]

My best friend had her only child, a daughter at nearly 40, now she's 44 & her daughter is 5, my friend wouldn't be without her.

[Deckthehallswithlotsofcake]

No. There is too high a risk for disabilities and it will not be fair on the older child. We have friends who have a DD with a disability and the older DD became rather neglected for some years. They disabled DD goes away to a carer every other weekend now, but the damage is done. Their older DD doesn't really trust her parents to be there for her.

Besides, you might have an ok level of energy now, but as I have heard from several men who became fathers again at approx. that age: You might feel you have enough energy for another baby now, but that doesn't mean you have enough energy for a 5-year-old, when you are 50.

[PityParty4one]

No I wouldnt.

I an 42 and feel tired looking after independence 12 year olds. I could not imagine carrying a baby at 45 let alone raising one.
That said maybe I am old before my time. Each to their own.

[DowntonCrabby]

I only wouldn’t as I’m done at 35 and wouldn’t want that age gap.

Go for it if it’s right for your family.

[MarthasGinYard]

No

Perhaps tiny chance if partner was much younger

[Whynosnowyet]

I had 4 chemicals and a mmc (a week before I was 45). Go told me unlikely I would carry to term a healthy dc at my age.

[Megan2018]

I had my first at 41, I’d have another at 45 if we could afford it and DH was younger (he is 5 years older than me).

[DramaAlpaca]

No. My own personal cut-off for having babies was 35, though I had my last at 33. I was in perimenopause by 44 so it's unlikely that I'd have been able to conceive then anyway.

I know lots of women who've successfully had babies in their early to mid-40s, it just wasn't for me.