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Too fat and not posh

(97 Posts)
Sundancer77 Sat 18-Jan-20 12:43:38

We have a children’s birthday to attend this afternoon, in a beautiful hotel inside a marquee.
Between the WhatsApp group, some of us texting to ask what to to wear etc, host said warm things (is raining today here etc) but very posh.
I’ve just gone upstairs to look and realised I have basically nothing posh enough in winter clothes and I look fat and horrible after years of ivf and having a baby.
Aibu to cancel as I just feel crappy?
This has definitely spurred me on to lose weight and do something about it!

Bluntness100 Sat 18-Jan-20 12:46:37

Oh go and have fun, the host was asked for guidance, it was just that not a rule. Wear what you're comfy in, and don't let your weight have you hiding in doors.

Sohardtochooseausername Sat 18-Jan-20 12:47:55

Who has a kids’ party somewhere posh? I think that is unreasonable. I bet you look better than you think. Don’t go if you don’t think you’ll have fun, but otherwise wear something you feel good in and you should be fine.

lljkk Sat 18-Jan-20 12:47:57

Sure you can't just brazen it out in very black items?
Probably just means avoid the stained jeans, hoody & old trainers.

Ponoka7 Sat 18-Jan-20 12:48:47

Surely it's about the children, more than what people are wearing?

BecauseReasons Sat 18-Jan-20 12:49:04

It's far too late to cancel, OP. It's also a children's birthday party, not a ball at Downton. I'm sure whatever you have will be just fine.

fedup21 Sat 18-Jan-20 12:49:46

Who has a kids party and expects the adults to dress posh?

That is very bizarre!

Celeriacacaca Sat 18-Jan-20 12:50:42

Seems strange location for a party but just style it out in black from head to toe, maybe with an interesting necklace or scarf. Hold your head up high and enjoy!

DeathByPuppy Sat 18-Jan-20 12:51:13

How naff!

incognitomum Sat 18-Jan-20 12:51:56

hmm Weird. Very posh ffs! Ha... I'd go in wellies and an old jumper wearing a tiara.

mummmy2017 Sat 18-Jan-20 12:51:56

Jeans, one of his white shirts with belt, chuck on some bracelets , jumper coat and bright scarf. Add some make up Job done.

howrudeforme Sat 18-Jan-20 12:52:54

Dress posh for a children’s party?

Blimey.

APatchyTomCat Sat 18-Jan-20 12:53:11

The host has said to wear something warm that’s all. She hasn’t demanded ‘posh’!

SinglePringle Sat 18-Jan-20 12:53:29

Hands down, the poshest people I know (I’m taking Old Money, Aristo, landed and own banks kinda posh) are the scruffiest. Go as you are and act like your jumper / jacket were Granny’s back in the day!

Seriously, if I were this (not posh, new money wink) host, I’d rather you were there than not.

APatchyTomCat Sat 18-Jan-20 12:54:28

Oh hang on, did she demand posh? I took it to mean the host is posh herself blush

Chienloup Sat 18-Jan-20 12:55:36

Someone who asks people to dress "very posh" is an idiot and full of pretensions.
Just go as you are OP.

Sundancer77 Sat 18-Jan-20 12:55:49

It’s in the marquee with catering etc (def more for the host than the child-turning 1 🤷‍♀️)
I’ve spent most of my days in pjs since Dd came along, which I know is pretty shitty, but the children’s parties so far have been jeans, trainers/boots/sweater etc..this I can do..I just feel too blah..literally nothing fits or is what you’d consider ‘Posh’ in any way whatsoever..I know i’m being miserable 🙄but will not feel comfy, there are at least 50 going, so it’s unlikely we’ll be missed.
It’s spurring me on to lose the couple of stone!

DecemberSnow Sat 18-Jan-20 12:56:05

And how does one dress posh?

dontgobaconmyheart Sat 18-Jan-20 12:56:42

Dont cancel OP- what a horrible message to yourself that would be about not being good enough!

It's a marquee in a hotel in Jan confused it can't be that posh. I'd just iron something and do my hair slightly better than I normally bother with, sling a smart ish coat on and go. I doubt anyone will care what you're wearing!

Casualbride Sat 18-Jan-20 12:58:16

If you really don’t want to go then just make your excuses. But if you do go wear whatever you feel comfortable in, and hold your head up high. You are as good as anyone else there!

MissBPotter Sat 18-Jan-20 12:59:32

Don’t cancel as it’s too late now. Do you have one nice coat? You can wear that over the less nice stuff! I’m wearing my faux fur one today and feel nice in it even though I’m overweight. I’m also doing something about it - low carb, high fat/Mediterranean diet and have joined gym to mostly do weights. Try to enjoy the party, no one else will notice you as much as you think!!

Sundancer77 Sat 18-Jan-20 12:59:43

She didn’t demand posh or initially state it, she sent a nice message saying about the rain so would be inside. She said to dress nice and warm, a friend asked if her little one would get messy at all as she had a cute new outfit for him, she also asked if we should dress ‘Posh’
Host replied it was ok as there’s nothing to get the kids messy and yes to dress posh 🤷‍♀️ So she never specified it in the invite, just replied to it.
I’m also thinking because the children won’t be getting messy, there may not be a lot for the children to do and it may be a case of standing round drinking nice booze and eating a lovely spread (lovely normally) but will probably involve running round after 18 month old as there’s nothing to occupy her.

ChocolateCoins19 Sat 18-Jan-20 13:00:57

I don't own anything posh winter or summer.

Its not me. Wear what you're comfy in.
Nicest I'd have is ack. Trousers and a top. But not posh at all.
I used to worry about stuff like this and mn hepled me see iwbu and I am who I am, wear what I want etc and if they're friends they won't care

Last weekend me and dh got a sitter and went for a meal before baby due this week. We met with his boss etc. They all. Had lovely make up and hair etc.. I did my hair but it needs dying. Which I'll do After baby as can't sit too long. I have so many spots on face that are sore so I didn't put any make up On except mascara.. I looked like shit.
But dh just said it doesn't matter and enjoy it. We did.

HorridHamble Sat 18-Jan-20 13:03:40

Do not worry. So long as you don’t turn up in a tracksuit and crocs. Do you have anything plain you can accessorise with jewellery or a scarf? Do you have a nice coat? Presumably it will be freezing in a marquee so wouldn’t be weird to keep it on. Any decent people won’t give a hoot what you wear.

bank100 Sat 18-Jan-20 13:05:32

It is too late to cancel. She will have paid for your place / catering or whatever.

She says to wear something warm. Take her at her word. Don't worry too much about looking posh. I'm sure dark jeans or a dress with thick tights, boots and a not-too-scruffy coat will do the trick. Add a colourful or nice scarf if you have one. Don't over think it.

When I feel like I look shit & don't like my outfit I apply extra make up and often some bright lippy. Helps a bit.

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