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To ask for a financial contribution?

(306 Posts)
Drivingmecrazy105 Tue 14-Jan-20 19:26:09

A colleague of mine recently became unwell and has unfortunately had her driving licence removed. We both live in the same town about an hours drive from our place of work and she has asked me if I can drive her to and from work, every day. There is public transport available but it is infrequent and unreliable and no one else in our workplace who lives locally. She doesn’t live on my route and I have to drive in the opposite direction to and from her home. Every week this adds over an hour to my driving time.

Now whilst I am happy to help, colleague has not offered any sort of financial contribution to help with petrol or the extra time it takes me to drive past my own house to take her home. Her own husband also works from home but doesn’t help out, even by bringing her to my house to save me the daily detour.

WIBU to ask her for a financial contribution? And if not, what can I do to make the conversation less awkward?!

Lippy1234 Tue 14-Jan-20 19:28:03

I’d work out your petrol costs and ask for half.

JayAlfredPrufrock Tue 14-Jan-20 19:28:11

Ask her to get her DH to drop her to yours and collect her in an evening.

As well as contributing to you fuel costs.

StrongTea Tue 14-Jan-20 19:28:31

Would she be waiting till end of the month to give you some money towards travel costs?

Grobagsforever Tue 14-Jan-20 19:29:11

Her DH should drop her to yours and she should pay half the petrol.

ElusiveOrangeTwirl Tue 14-Jan-20 19:29:55

You're not being unreasonable to ask for money, however you are being unreasonable to yourself by adding an hour of travel to your day.

user1493413286 Tue 14-Jan-20 19:30:36

After a couple of weeks say that you’ve noticed it’s costing you x amount extra so could she contribute that or ask her husband to drop her at yours. She’s being pretty cheeky to be honest as you’re saving her money so I’d really expect her to contribute half

ElusiveOrangeTwirl Tue 14-Jan-20 19:30:45

Sorry I mistyped - an extra hour a week is still too much time when she's doing nothing for you.

MovingBriskyOn Tue 14-Jan-20 19:32:19

Is the extra hour daily or cumulative over the week? That would bug me more than the money, I think.

Nightmanagerfan Tue 14-Jan-20 19:33:12

“Hi colleague, nice I’ve been driving you for a while i wanted to formalise things by asking you to cover half the petrol cost. This is £x per week. It would also suit me better if you could be dropped off at mine in the morning as it’s in the opposite direction and is taking too much extra time. Thanks”

crustycrab Tue 14-Jan-20 19:33:25

How long til she gets her licence back? I'd hate this indefinitely. If it's for 3 weeks I'd do it and assume she was going to give me money at the end.

I'd also tell her to be at mine for X time rather than going out of my way to collect her

Myimaginarycathasfleas Tue 14-Jan-20 19:34:04

I would put an end date on it now before it becomes an assumption that you will carry on indefinitely. If she queries it, that's your chance to say it takes you out of your way and adds to your work day so you aren't in a position to do it on a permanent basis.

Helping out in the short term is the kind thing to do, but she must surely expect to make other arrangements in the longer term. If a disability, can work help out?

Jeezoh Tue 14-Jan-20 19:35:27

First of all, are you happy to do this on a long term basis? Because assuming you both work 5 days a week, that’s you spending an extra 10 hours a week with your colleague which isn’t something I’d want to do with most people!

If you’re happy to continue, I’d tell her that she needs to arrange to either be dropped to yours or you’ll pick her up at some point on your way to work. I wouldn’t ask for money unless it was putting extra mileage on my car, so if you’re going to continue to go out of your way for her, definitely ask for a contribution to cover petrol and wear and tear, you shouldn’t be out of pocket when you’re already doing her a massive favour.

AnneElliott Tue 14-Jan-20 19:37:31

I agree you should be upfront and ask for petrol costs, and also for her to come to and be picked up from your house. If you live in the same town, surely transport between your houses must be easier than the public transport journey to work.

Polarbearshare Tue 14-Jan-20 19:38:31

I think people are misreading. OP said an extra hour a week so she lives about six minutes away from her. I would definitely ask for her to be dropped off and collected at your house.

Meggie2008 Tue 14-Jan-20 19:44:02

Driving an extra 5 mins to pick her up and drop her off is absolutely nothing tbf, but id be expecting her to cover half your petrol costs. I drive my colleague to work every day and she gives me £10 a week. She walks to mine in the morning and I drop her off at hers at night.

FiddlesticksAkimbo Tue 14-Jan-20 19:45:35

She now has a free door-to-door taxi service, and you've got quite a pain in the arse! That clearly isn't fair.

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 14-Jan-20 19:47:11

You could ask for money but I wouldn’t do it at all. What’s she going to do when you’re on holiday or off sick? Are you friends or colleagues?

ineedto Tue 14-Jan-20 19:52:01

I drive 45miles to work every day, I am a tank of fuel a week including popping to gym/supermarket etc. A full tank cost be around £72 on Monday.

DH gets the train to work, his pass is £78 a week.

Your colleague is taking the rip!

okiedokieme Tue 14-Jan-20 19:53:54

If it's that close she should walk to your house the 20 mins or so

TestingTestingWonTooFree Tue 14-Jan-20 19:57:30

I agree that you need to think about where this is going in the medium/long term. Either end it soon or ask for a contribution. She’s a cheeky cow.

Singlebutmarried Tue 14-Jan-20 19:59:21

Her DH should take her to and from work.

Her losing her licence is not your problem.

If you ask for money it may well invalidate your insurance.

ffswhatnext Tue 14-Jan-20 19:59:27

So hang on, they own a car and the husband could take her too and from work daily and doesn't. Instead, they save not only wear and tear, but also petrol money 🤣 🤣

How to approach it?
Yea mate, as from tomorrow there's no more lifts. And if she persists tell her straight it's not your problem, he can do it. Then just ignore her tell her to fuck off

Thehop Tue 14-Jan-20 20:01:09

“If Dave brings you and picks you up from mine I could yeah, half the petrol would be £15 a week.”

Drivingmecrazy105 Tue 14-Jan-20 20:02:20

Thanks for your replies. To answer a few questions, we are colleagues, not friends and this is an indefinite arrangement. She could be waiting until the end of the month to offer payment but surely she would have told me that this was her plan? No, I don’t want to do it at all but she has no other way of getting to work so I would feel guilty not helping out. I know it’s not her fault but I’m starting to feel like a bit of a mug!

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