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Getting kids to school on time

(242 Posts)
MarkyTinTin Tue 07-Jan-20 23:15:22

I’m a working dad but lucky enough to work from home 2 days a week so I can take my two dds to school those days. I always get them to school ASAP after it opens - my older d hates being late

Wife does not work but gets the dds to school late every day she has to take the. Not hugely late but always a couple of minutes. I can’t do anything about it and she is habitually late for everything. it’s having an impact on kids and our marriage as I think totally unacceptable. Have tried talking about it and playing the “be on time for the sake of our d” card but nothing changes - this has been 2 years now and at my wits end / stuck for solutions. We have no traffic issues and it’s just down to her leaving 10 mins earlier each day. Am I being unreasonable expecting our children to be delivered on time to school and can anyone advise on alternative strategies to change this behaviour (assuming unacceptable?).

I would give up my job to get them to school on time, but dw is not looking for work so we would lose everything. I can’t stand it any more - grateful for some ideas / alternative strategies please! Thank you 🙏

OP’s posts: |
soapboxqueen Tue 07-Jan-20 23:17:34

What does she say as to why she is late?

Knittedfairies Tue 07-Jan-20 23:18:26

Has anyone at school complained about your children being late?

Designerenvy Tue 07-Jan-20 23:20:05

No advice but why the hell can't she get out the door in the mornings? It's a struggle for us all but we do it.
My kids would hate being late regularly for school, it's not fair on the kids.
I'd get quite cross if I were you and say it as it is. It's not acceptable.

SuperSleepyBaby Tue 07-Jan-20 23:22:26

If its only a few minutes late then it sounds like you are overreacting - are there other issues between you apart from this?

I am always early to everything and my DH is always late. He drops the children to school a few minutes late everyday but its not the end of the world - plenty of other parents are a few minutes late too. DH has lots of good things about him but is not perfect - like any of us.

MarkyTinTin Tue 07-Jan-20 23:22:59

Often blames the kids for being late, but this can’t be every day and i think actually down to spending too long on her personal care in the morning (over an hour) as the kids only have time for a few mouthfuls of breakfast before they rush out of the door a few mins before 9am.

OP’s posts: |
Nanny0gg Tue 07-Jan-20 23:23:02

What does their teacher/HT say? Is it mentioned at parents' evenings?

MarkyTinTin Tue 07-Jan-20 23:24:12

It’s mentioned to me by other parents - more in jest but it’s obviously a problem. The school has not spoken to me about it personally....

OP’s posts: |
MissMarks Tue 07-Jan-20 23:24:32

How late are we talking? 5/10 minutes? If so I wouldn’t worry. I am like this a lot of the time- it is due to underestimating how long things will take and being disorganised. In the grand scheme of things a little lateness isn’t that big a deal if the school aren’t raising concerns. My children are at a private school and there are loads of parents like me who are successful in other areas of their life but always five minutes late for school!

Singlebutmarried Tue 07-Jan-20 23:26:23

This must be being flagged up by the school surely?

On the school run it’s the same people every day dropping off after the kids have gone in.

I’m amazed that they’re been consistently late for four years (at DDs school)

slipperywhensparticus Tue 07-Jan-20 23:26:33

How old are the kids? Mine get themselves dressed and breakfast so I can shower

JockTamsonsBairns Tue 07-Jan-20 23:26:37

I think "a few minutes late" is an issue tbh. They should be there in good time in the morning, to line up with their classmates (or whatever the arrangement is). I wouldn't want my DC's going in the door late several times a week, regardless of whether others were late too.

GreenTulips Tue 07-Jan-20 23:26:55

I think you are fixating in this. DH has no idea what time the kids get to school late or otherwise.

Chocolateandchats Tue 07-Jan-20 23:27:52

It’s a choice she makes, I’m not sure what you can do to change it though. I had a friend like this, school, appointments, she was always late for everything. Purely because she slept more and had much lazier mornings. I feel for you because I’d be fuming too.

BackforGood Tue 07-Jan-20 23:28:06

If she is, and always has been habitually late, then I'm not sure there is anything you can say or do that will change her now.
I would hate it too.
I stopped going out with someone who was otherwise really nice, many years ago, as he just had no idea how his lateness impacted upon other people.

BloggersBlog Tue 07-Jan-20 23:28:54

Maybe she is trying to avoid the school gates politics?

Designerenvy Tue 07-Jan-20 23:29:27

If the kids are saying they don't like it, then it's an issue .

MarkyTinTin Tue 07-Jan-20 23:30:15

Am I overreacting if they are constantly late even if it’s a few minutes? Why can’t they leave 5 or 10 minutes earlier so my dd can avoid the embarrassment?

Issues between us - there are some. Main one is her chronic lateness for everything - friends, family, leaving for holiday etc. Another is unwillingness to find a job while I sweat it out leaving at 5am to return 9pm and then I do washing, cook a meal for myself and head off to bed so I can repeat the next day. I don’t think she appreciates or cares - probably about me - so I wonder if that’s what is preventing her changing this behaviour. I’ve said “do it for dd not me” but makes no difference.

OP’s posts: |
ludothedog Tue 07-Jan-20 23:30:57

I agree with you, it's an issue for your DD, for school and for you.
There is no excuse.
Clearly if your wife does not recognise there is an issue, it won't change.

Is there anyway you could speak to your employer and change your hours to start later or you take the kids to breakfast club before going to work?

Nicknacky Tue 07-Jan-20 23:30:58

I always feel sorry for the kids that are habitually late. It’s not hard to get them there on time.

And avoiding school gate politics is a shit excuse.

SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing Tue 07-Jan-20 23:32:04

How late is she? At our school doors open at 8:50, and they can arrive between then and 9:00

slipperywhensparticus Tue 07-Jan-20 23:32:34

But how old are the children?

You seem very fixated on this

FoxRedBitch Tue 07-Jan-20 23:32:43

We are sometimes late but it's normally my daughter's fault for faffing around!

Removethemess Tue 07-Jan-20 23:32:58

I know someone who got called in for an attendance meeting at school with the head teacher due to their child always being late. So this is a possibility.

Why doesn’t she just get up earlier? I never understand why people who are late all the time just don’t get up earlier. I always base my wake up time on when I need to leave the house so I don’t understand those who are late. Even when my children were babies and toddler I just added an extra 15 minutes in case there was an unexpected tantrum or nappy change needed just before we were due to leave.

allthesharks Tue 07-Jan-20 23:34:51

I would be annoyed at this constant lateness too. We were almost late for school this morning for the first time (DD is in yr 1). First day back at school and I just wasn't in to the swing of things. As a one off, I think it's excusable, but I felt awful because DD was upset that she thought she was going to be late.

Does she get things organised the night before to minimise what needs to be done in the morning? Such as sorting book bags, lunches (if they take them).

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