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to not help my 8 year old DD tidy her VERY messy bedroom?

(22 Posts)
MamaG Tue 28-Aug-07 12:42:44

It is a TIP

I've told her it needs doing every night for almost 2 weeks now and each day it gets messier and messier.

i told her i would NOT help her this time but she ignored me.

Usually I help her do it (i.e. I do it while she fannys around)

But I've decided NO! Enough! She made the mess, she can tidy it.

She's just been down to ask me to help (can't she see i'm on MN?) and i refused (boo) - cue indignant face and forced tears and me shooing her back up


claricebeansmum Tue 28-Aug-07 12:44:58

I would seize the opportunity of her wanting to do it - tell her to clear way - specify area/set of toys - you will come and do a chunk with her and then she can finish up on her own.

MamaG Tue 28-Aug-07 12:46:19

oh no, I sent her to do it! She certainly didn't offer, the beast.

I ALWAYS end up helping her though, I thought no, she's 8, its time she got on with it

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House Tue 28-Aug-07 12:47:45

my mm used to do this and say 'if you dont do it it all goes in black bags in te bin....only problem was i used to wander round going 'that can go, and that can go, and that......' while she was stood thinking 'i paid good money for those!!!! shock'

i would say give her specifics she has to do, but it can be a bit daunting to a kid to do the whole thing, make sure she does her bits tho!

nutcracker Tue 28-Aug-07 12:47:59

The problem is, if it is that messy she is probably overwhelmed buy it and doesn't know where to start.

I think you might at least have to sit there and issue instructions else she will never get it done.

kid Tue 28-Aug-07 12:48:17

My DD is 8 and also has a very untidy bedroom most of the time. I usually tidy it with/for her, but like you decided enough was enough.
I took a photo of the tip on my mobile phone and threatened to show her teacher that she adores. Her bedroom has been tidy ever since. I still have the photo just incase I need it sometime grin

MrsWeasley Tue 28-Aug-07 12:48:31

Do you think its something to do with where the planets were when she was born because I have one exactly the same, same age, same bedroomhmm LOL

Anyway last week I told her that anything not put away was going in a black sack ready for the bin and I walked into her room and started putting her things in a bin bag and suddenly she wanted to tidy her room grin

AngharadGoldenhand Tue 28-Aug-07 12:50:34

Yes, YABU if you've always helped or done it for her. It can be an overwhelming job for an 8 year old.

Does she have a list of things to do?
Does she know where things go?

MamaG Tue 28-Aug-07 12:58:47

Her toys are very organised (!)

Its a very big room and everything has a place

doll box
polly pocket box
Art & craft box


I've given her a list along teh lines of

1. Put art things away
2. Put books on bookshelves
3. Put all Polly ting away
4. Put dressing up clothes back in trunk


I do feel a bit mean, but surely there comes a day when you say enough is enough!

AngharadGoldenhand Tue 28-Aug-07 13:10:38

Sounds good, MamaG.

Beetroot Tue 28-Aug-07 13:13:28

I think you should help.

And next time don't allow her to get it like this

My rule is 5 mins per day and everything will stay reasonable in their rooms.

She is too young ot do it alone

MamaG Tue 28-Aug-07 13:14:25

ok ok, I've caved in grin

will go help

smeeinit Tue 28-Aug-07 13:16:52

dont help!!! take it from me it will only get worse!!
my ds2 now 15 has always had an untidy room,myself and ds1 would always end up tidying it for him as hes so bloody lazy,and now hes 15 i STILL have to tidy the bloody thing!
i did actually snap one day last year and cleared out his whole room (not the awardrobe etc...) while he was at school and made a neat heap at the top of the garden awaiting to be made into a bonfire!
it did work for about a month!!
although ive just paid £500 to get it redecorated so hes beeen warned that any mess and it all goes up thr garden to go up in flames! grin

smeeinit Tue 28-Aug-07 17:19:12

well,did you help???!! hmm

Kbear Tue 28-Aug-07 22:09:35

You are a wicked mother. grin

DD loves tidying DS's room, my room, the living room but not her own! I always help her cos I am a lovely kind mummy. grin

melpomene Tue 28-Aug-07 23:14:08

8 is old enough to tidy it for themselves, if they're given instructions. My dd1 is 4 and can tidy her own room (although she doesn't ALWAYS do it properly; sometimes she just kicks everything under the bed and then says "Come and look at my room! It's sparkling clean!" grin)

MamaG Wed 29-Aug-07 08:37:37

I went up to help and it was done (in a fashion!)

She had tried very hard, so I was full of praise and stuck my hands in my pockets to stop my itchy fingers from doing it "properly" blush [control freak]

<<punch>> Kbear grin

Kbear Wed 29-Aug-07 14:16:51


you don't know your own strength you bully.

You're officially uninvited to my party now.

MamaG Wed 29-Aug-07 17:45:36

What, your HSM2 party? Thought I didn't know about that, huh?


Kbear Wed 29-Aug-07 19:25:11

No, thought you were ignoring the invitation frankly.


MamaG Thu 30-Aug-07 15:09:27


actually, I did consider having one myself, then realised that all teh squarking girls would ruin it for me and decided against it blush

LowFat Thu 30-Aug-07 15:19:38

Oooh, MAMAG in my house the black sack would have come out now and DD would be short a few choice toys!

I must be horrible as my DD is only 4 (well nearly 4)


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