Questioned over use of Blue Badge

[SuperMeerkat]

Not sure if I’m being unreasonable here. I have epilepsy and it’s been really bad this year. 3 instances of Status (continual seizures) requiring emergency hospitalisation via ambulance plus many more seizures. My last seizure was 3 days ago. Anyway my husband parked up in a disabled bay with me as a passenger and I displayed the Blue Badge. A man immediately beckoned me over and demanded to know why I was using the disabled bay. I was very upset that I was made out to be using it fraudulently. AIBU to be upset or should I just get over it?

[Pipandmum]

Dont be upset for long though - there's always going to be self-righteous fools out there.

[Duchessgummybuns]

YANBU to be upset but people are ignorant when it comes to invisible illnesses.

[MidnightCircus]

A man? What man? I don't think you're being unreasonable if it was just some random guy being nosy. The blue badge gives you permission to use those spaces (Though not park anywhere). Sorry to hear you've been so ill this year, last thing you need is people being arseholes for no reason

[80spumpkin]

It’s no one else’s business why you have a blue badge. Don’t worry about it- just someone being a twat!

[recrudescence]

Next time, immediately invite someone like this to report you if they believe you are using your blue badge fraudulently. Then walk away without any further comment. I have done this when acting as driver for my mother. It stops busybodies like this in their tracks.

[Berrylove]

I’m asking this out of pure curiously I really don’t mean to be rude or offend, but why do you need to park closer to your destination (I’m assuming that’s all blue badges are for) if you epilepsy? I obviously think the guy was out of order for demanding you tell him but I guess maybe this sparked from him wondering to?

[Becca19962014]

It is upsetting.

When I first had a BB my disability couldn't be seen and included blackouts and seizures which could be induced by doing too much (for the poster above that's likely what the OP has one). Now I get asked why someone of my age needs sticks and if I gave my BB back for someone more needy I could work on getting better - basically you can't win. People believe what they read and they read "anyone" can con a BB if they want one. Reality, like most things in papers is very different.

Try not to let it get to you, and I know how difficult that can be. Just remember that though some people can be nasty, not everyone is!

[StreetwiseHercules]

You should have told this random man to fuck off.

[GlamGiraffe]

I have exactly the same issue as you OP. I've been in status twice in the past fortnight and have woken up in resus in both occasions, the last one was especially bad. I can function on a minor level of going out and about although i never do go out alone. My problem is I will feel absolutely fine, be in the middle if a shopping centre or supermarket and suddenly have minor or major seizure (the minor is actually more problematic as it isn't as obvious) and then have to he dragged back to the car. I dont have a blue badge. It had never occurred to me I could apply for one. I was paralysed from the waist down during a very bad seizure when I fell and broke my neck, luckily I gave learnt to walk again pretty well although am lacking leg sensation.
I feel that I do pretty well but going out for me is a problem as I cant go alone and do get into difficulty as I'm struck down at random times when I'm out. I'm now thinking perhaps I can get a badge which would really help when DH Is trying to drag me semi conscious to the car. Was it easy for epilepsy? Mine is a really long and problematic history.

[Knittedfairies]

Who made him the blue badge monitor? You were using the blue badge bay because you have a blue badge. The end.

[CactusAndCacti]

I am torn on this. On one hand no one has the right to challenge someone else based on perception and preconceived ideas on the other fraudulent use of blue badges is very high, either fake ones or 'borrowing' a relative's. Demand on spaces is high, especially this time of year so people abusing spaces has a massive impact.

I don't know the answer, don't challenge and the difficulty finding a space continues as people get away with it, challenge and someone is upset because they actually are genuine.

Criminal conviction figures are really low and councils have no jurisdiction over private car parks. So the risks of fraudulent use are low.

[Spartonian]

I got questioned once when I was with my DC "you don't look disabled" was also shouted at me, I told them I wasn't and we walked off.

It's not my BB, its my DC.

[Elieza]

It’s upsetting when people have hidden disabilities and someone accosts them. In his defence, the guy was only trying to make sure you weren’t using the bay fraudulently, but granted he should have not made you feel uncomfortable. My ex got that all the time as his prosthetic leg wasn’t visible under his clothing. He’d just lift his trouser leg up and show people his prosthetic lower leg! Probably shocked them!

[Havaina]

What man? And did you actually go over when he beckoned you?

You need to be more assertive, my 70 year old mum has a BB and she would not have given him the time of day.

[lisag1969]

If anyone asks you again. Just say disability is not always visible and walk away.

[StoneofDestiny]

Next time, immediately invite someone like this to report you if they believe you are using your blue badge fraudulently. Then walk away without any further comment. I have done this when acting as driver for my mother. It stops busybodies like this in their tracks

Yes . Good advice

[Havaina]

Add message | Report | Message poster Berrylove Sun 15-Dec-19 22:56:17

I’m asking this out of pure curiously I really don’t mean to be rude or offend, but why do you need to park closer to your destination (I’m assuming that’s all blue badges are for) if you epilepsy? I obviously think the guy was out of order for demanding you tell him but I guess maybe this sparked from him wondering to?


-----

No, it didn't 'spark from him wondering too' because he doesn't bloody know OP has epilepsy! The reasons why someone has a BB are none of anyone's business.

[GunpowderGelatine]

I was a career for my Nan before she passed away and was always getting questioned over her blue badge - I never used it when she wasn't with me (she kept it in her handbag) but she did a lot of social groups and I'd park up, take her in then return to find someone run up to the car and demand to know "my" disability at first I used to explain I'd just dropped my Nan off. Then I started to show them the badge number and say "by all means report me". Sometimes a good "fuck off cunty chops" would do (yes, on bad days, I've said it)

[Poissonpoison]

In his defence, the guy was only trying to make sure you weren’t using the bay fraudulently, but granted he should have not made you feel uncomfortable.

It's none of his damn business- if he thinks its being used fraudulently he can go to the customer services desk or call the council.

I've been challenged before, I took my wig off and made the person feel terrible. I've been asked by parking attendants a few times, which is fine but its annoying they wouldn't challenge someone who is older or "looks" disabled.

[Berrylove]

@Havaina how do you know it didn’t spark from him wondering though? I genuinely think there would be a lot less hostility towards disabled people and the use of BB if people understood the reasons why they needed them, not that it’s anyone’s business I agree but like I said I think it would help.

[SlightlyStaleCocoPops]

"Because I'm disabled you fucking idiot"

[starfishmummy]

Dont even engage.

[chinateapot]

@berrylove
Here’s the link to the reasons why someone might need a blue badge

www.gov.uk/government/publications/blue-badge-can-i-get-one/can-i-get-a-blue-badge

Anyone who has a blue badge will meet one of these conditions. Some will be visible - like being unable to walk at all. Others won’t be - like being in too much pain to walk any distance.

So the information people need to understand why someone might need a blue badge is freely available. They don’t need to ask someone who is dealing with disability to justify themselves.

[loubieloo4]

My dh has a bb due to stage 4 terminal bowel cancer (praying for a Christmas miracle that we get longer than the predicted 6 months life expectancy) that has spread in to multiple organs including his lungs, which makes him short of breath. He is only 39 and probably looks well to strangers.

We have been challenged numerous times, once was a particularly bad day as we had been told his cancer was no longer treatable and some stuck up wanker who was about 70-80 ish shouted at me and banging on the car window, where I was sat sobbing waiting for dh to finish in the toilet. I rolled down the window and seethed through gritted teeth that I wished it was him that was dying and not my amazing dh. He shut up once dh walked over. Judgemental cunt

[Nancydrawn]

I find getting cold and sneery very useful in this situation.

"What an intrusive question" said in best imitation of Lady Catherine de Bourgh will do it. Substitutions can include 'rude', 'personal', or 'peculiar'.

If you can raise one eyebrow, this is excellent.