We had a stressful family evening and not sure on this if I am being overdramatic or not. I don't think so. I am quite hormonal though (perimenopause). I also have anxiety so unsure if that skews my perspective at times.
We have some family on DH's side who tend to turn up and go off out shopping / pub. This has only started since they had DC. We have older DC but theirs are little. (two under 5)
This time we had his other extended family (about 12 in total) coming around in the evening to eat so i was quite stressed getting ready etc. usually DH joins in preparing etc but had been away abroad all week and only just got back.
So, his sister and BIL turned up in the PM and after a few minutes it became clear she was going shopping (arranging to meet his niece in town) and BIL and DH were going to the pub. Leaving me with the DC to look after at the same time as prepping this huge meal.
So, I didn't handle this well and just stood up saying What about the DC who is going to look after them? and went off upstairs leaving them all to sort that out. No-one had asked if I would.
So then the sister went out and DH and BIL kind of grumpily lurking round with the DC, (DH was fine playing with them etc but BIL sulky)
I went into the kitchen and tried to make polite chat about the journey etc but got quiet replies, asked if their DC would like a snack etc.
After about an hour SIL gets back and keeps apologising for going out, then they (BIL and DH) go off out to the pub. It's a weird atmosphere all evening.
The odd thing is, I had some funny comments this evening "Are you ok, this time of year tries the sanity doesn't it?" this kind of thing! Feels a bit like gas lighting. And no apology at just kind of trying to take my babysitting duties for granted.
Also was i being OTT? I mean mine are older and don't really need so much attention but I don't know theirs very well and felt it would have been too much to mind them and also try and cook at the same time.
Left feeling like some kind of drama queen. I didn't do this when ours were all though, unless we e.g. all got a grandparent to babysit and we all went out.
I did mention to SIL was BIL Ok as he seemed quiet and sulky earlier and she just said he isn't very 'good with childcare' something like that.
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AIBU?
Is this gaslighting?
67 replies
Orangeblossom78 · 15/12/2019 04:36
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
279 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
8%
You are NOT being unreasonable
92%
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