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To be furious I can’t complain about this woman!

(80 Posts)
Velvetbloomers Sat 14-Dec-19 19:29:10

really want to post the full details to this but from the outset the reason I won’t is it’ll be very outing.

I posted about something I’m particularly annoyed about on a closed social media forum last week, nothing outrageous or to do with the election 😅, it was asking for some support and for some joined up thinking on tackling it .

Anyway out of the replies one was a tad ‘shirty’, can’t say too much (sorry) but they’d not read the post properly it looked like and had misinterpreted it and was also clearly trying to put me back in my box - based on having not read the post properly. A quick snoop revealed she doesn’t live in the area, no children at school here etc. I explained that sorry but that’s not what it’s regarding and thought that would be that. However she kept arguing the toss and again trying to put me back in my box, I know I should have left it but it’s something I feel quite passionate about and affects my children. So I explained again, but she was doing the thing you see on here where people try and be snooty and misquote to gain the upper hand and again put me back in my box. Worst thing was she has no vested interest in what I was posting about. And given her background I felt she was being quite elitist. I have worked in PR previously so I recognise this well worn MO from certain women like this, and I’m pretty thick skinned.

However it really upset as it seemed like she was deliberately poking. I felt really under attack and just couldn’t understand why she was continuing to have a go, I also must add I don’t know her from Adam.

Anyway further looking revealed two things. She’s a bloody councillor for the council of a neighbouring village - still didn’t understand why she had such a problem with it. This infuriated me as it seemed so, so unprofessional for someone in that position, nearly a week on and I still can’t believe how she was carrying on in a relatively public place given her position. Nothing would have satisfied me more to complain about her conduct, and attitude on the subject given her position.

Se one thing though she is a very good friend of a good (but relatively new a couple of years) friend of mine! I really can’t do anything can I?!? Also mortified if this friend were to find out I’ve been arguing with someone on social media 😂. Even if I was in the right! Pretty surprised they’re friends with such a woman if I’m honest!

PinkiOcelot Sat 14-Dec-19 19:32:41

Why can’t you complain about her?

slipperywhensparticus Sat 14-Dec-19 19:34:01

Delete your post all her venom will disappear

I was misquoted by a twat last week too git accused me of saying it was ok for a man to be picked up on grindr and robbed I didnt actually I said if it was a woman it wouldn't have made it to court I reported him and his nasty page especially when he called me a retard took three goes but Facebook upheld my complaint and deleted his post

sleepymummy2019 Sat 14-Dec-19 19:34:11

Why can’t you complain? If she’s posting unpleasant things on a public forum then anyone could report that couldn’t they? So as long as you didn’t tell everyone it was you then you could complain without your friend knowing surely?

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 14-Dec-19 19:35:49

What is the complaint?
Who would you be complaining to?

PlomBear Sat 14-Dec-19 19:37:03

Who would you complain to?

Velvetbloomers Sat 14-Dec-19 19:37:06

I think it’d be pretty obvious it was me

selmabear Sat 14-Dec-19 19:37:23

Yeah I also dont understand why you cant complain? Can you not send in an anonymous complaint?

Hellofromtheotherside2020 Sat 14-Dec-19 19:38:13

She was/is a troll. You can't ever "win" an argument with one. So next time you encounter one, just ignore them. It frustrates them more.
I'd just screenshot all the conversations and maybe forward them on. If she's a counsellor then publicly arguing on FB doesn't do well for her image. But in all honesty, a little social media argument..... Despite how it upset you, I'd just move on....

Velvetbloomers Sat 14-Dec-19 19:39:17

@PlomBear the council who employ her, it was just really unprofessional. Like I said I worked in PR for many a year and she shouldn’t be carrying on like a high school bully on social media on this particular subject given she’s a local councillor.

lanbro Sat 14-Dec-19 19:39:21

God, Facebook is the work of the devil sometimes, keyboard warriors not really understanding what they're posting, or who sees it! I'm experiencing my own toxic fb drama, but I'm blocked from a page people are talking about me on, for absolutely no reason I should add!

Keep reporting, although fb are pretty rubbish, or delete the whole post so her comments disappear. Then rise, rise and rise some more above the fool!

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 14-Dec-19 19:51:12

The council don't employ her. She has been elected. You could complain to her party, but I doubt they'll do much about a spat on FB.

leghairdontcare Sat 14-Dec-19 19:54:25

If she is a councillor, she's not employed by the council she is an elected official. She should be following her local authority's code of conduct. So you could read that and see if she's broken it. However, if it's just the case that she has disagreed with you on Facebook, it's unlikely there's any valid complaint to be made.

misspiggy19 Sat 14-Dec-19 19:57:16

*If she is a councillor, she's not employed by the council she is an elected official. She should be following her local authority's code of conduct.*

^Your local newspaper would love a story like this

slashlover Sat 14-Dec-19 19:58:48

Was she trying to put you back in your box?

You had an argument on SM, how would you feel if she complained to your boss?

skybluee Sat 14-Dec-19 20:03:44

Complain to the council anonymously?

RedLipstickHighHeels Sat 14-Dec-19 20:03:52

Local authorities don’t employ councillors. They are not salaried employees
Councillors are accountable to their respective party whip

Livelovebehappy Sat 14-Dec-19 20:05:50

A bit harsh to complain about someone because they don’t share you’re opinions. Unless it was something really inappropriate like racism or homophobia, I would just leave it. She may similarly think you were trying to shout her down too.

RedLipstickHighHeels Sat 14-Dec-19 20:08:20

* Complain to the council anonymously* not a council employee
Political appointment, elected by constituents

WorraLiberty Sat 14-Dec-19 20:08:59

Good God. If you're going to argue with strangers on the internet, you really need to grow a thicker skin.

Otherwise, just don't do it.

Election2019 Sat 14-Dec-19 20:10:37

So what if your friend finds out. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Why are you concerned about your friend finding out that someone bullied you online and you reported them for doing so?

Interestedwoman Sat 14-Dec-19 20:14:45

Local councillors do/say all sorts of appalling things. I follow Campaign Against Antisemitism on Twitter and some of the stuff councillors post are awful. You could complain to the council if you like- I'm sure you're friend will understand if her friend's been a bit of a twat. You probably won't get anywhere, but worth a go if you feel like it. You could read the Code of Conduct (all this will be on your council's website I imagine, including how to complain etc) and see if she's officially broken it in anyway.

It's not a 'job' as such, so they're allowed quite a lot of leeway to be their own people nowadays, obnoxious as that may be.

AlmaMartyr Sat 14-Dec-19 20:20:07

If she's a parish councillor, you probably can't report to the council anyway and would have to report to the local monitoring officer. Only worth complaining if she's breached the Code of Conduct and if she was acting as a councillor when speaking to you, which seems unlikely in this case.

People can be vile online and it always gives me a jolt when it happens. I've never thought about complaining about them though, normally just move on.

Starlight456 Sat 14-Dec-19 20:35:09

Honestly it happens all the time . Posts get misinterpreted, people feel no one can hear there point .

I delete or hide on Mn.

You are putting too much time and effort into this woman

Velvetbloomers Sat 14-Dec-19 20:38:25

@slashlover she can be my guest 😂.

She isn’t a stranger though and what she was saying and the fact she was arguing anyway was inappropriate given her position. She wasn’t just being a dick.

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