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Being blackmailed by my daughters nursery

(88 Posts)
Jaded85 Thu 12-Dec-19 20:18:32

Hi All,

So earlier this week when I was dropping my daughter, who is two, off at nursery, I was told by 4 staff members that they were leaving due to poor treatment by the owner. I was alarmed by this information and spoke to the manager who also said she was ‘going off sick on her notice period and not coming back’ because she’s ‘had enough’. I tried to explain to the manager that this would be really unsettling for the children and questioned if the nursery would still be opening after Christmas as only a couple of staff members remained. She had no answers. I told her that if parents weren’t given clarity then I would have no choice but to report her to ofsted. Once I’d left the nursery I spoke to two other parents at the nursery and they said they had been told the same.
The following day I received a call from the nursery owner and she denied all claims of staff being unhappy with her and said they were all leaving for personal reasons. the conversation ended with her saying my daughters key worker would remain the same and she would not be affected by any changes.
A day later I received another phone call from her asking me to withdraw an alleged complaint I had made to Ofsted, to which I told her that even if I had, I have every right as a parent to do so.
Today I received an email from her containing the following;

‘I have contacted the Local Education Authority Early Years Team and asked for advice and they have said that if you feel you are unable to do this then we are able to terminate your contract with the nursery.’

‘Please can you confirm to me by email that you have updated the regulator with the actual facts as have been explained to you, If I do not receive confirmation then unfortunately I will have no choice but to terminate your daughters place‘

I’m furious!

Wheresthebiffer2 Thu 12-Dec-19 20:22:49

If it were me, I'd be looking for a new nursery asap.

Wildorchidz Thu 12-Dec-19 20:23:30

Contact the LA tomorrow and ask for clarification.

helpfulperson Thu 12-Dec-19 20:23:47

I don't understand what you would have complained to ofsted about. If, after the holidays, there were issues with staffing you could complain then but I'm not sure not knowing if the nursery would be open after the holidays is grounds for complaint.

Soontobe60 Thu 12-Dec-19 20:24:03

Email her back, telling her to forward the email she has had from the LA Early Years Team and then you'll make a decision. She's lying.

HJWT Thu 12-Dec-19 20:24:20

@Jaded85 They cannot blackmail you into doing anything, they can however take away your child's place. Maybe next time speak to the owner before making the threat...

Hellbentwellwent Thu 12-Dec-19 20:24:27

Well if you haven’t put in a complaint to offsets I certainly would not if I were you. Look for a new berserk place anyway as it sounds like that place is horrific anyway

BlueThursday Thu 12-Dec-19 20:24:49

Get a new nursery and get in touch with OFSTED

NailsNeedDoing Thu 12-Dec-19 20:24:59

It’s sounds like you need to find a new nursery either way tbh.

I’m not sure you can accuse them of blackmail considering you said that if you weren’t given clarity then you’d have to report them to ofsted. They’d hypocritical. You either have grounds for a complaint or you don’t. They wouldn’t have been able to give you clarity if they didn’t know the answers themselves.

As for your AIBU, I think it’s fair enough for them to terminate your contract if you’re going to complain to OFSTED about them, but I’m not sure why you’d want to keep your child there in the circumstances anyway.

firstimemamma Thu 12-Dec-19 20:25:09

I'm sorry that 4 staff members leaving 'alarms' you but you have no right to interfere with this. If an employee isn't happy in their line of work they are perfectly entitled to leave. Would you rather they stayed just so your daughter has continuity?

Fwiw I used to work in early years settings and if their heart isn't in it they're not giving your daughter 100% the best start she deserves anyway. Maybe change is for the best.

Singlenotsingle Thu 12-Dec-19 20:25:15

Sounds like she's got something to hide.

OhChristmasTreee Thu 12-Dec-19 20:26:04

There is no issue here. Why would you want to continue to send your children to that shitshow?

ButtonandPickle19 Thu 12-Dec-19 20:26:18

Unfortunately she is right that she can do that and it shows you exactly what sort of person she is that she is threatening to behave that way! Perhaps the team there are right to want to leave. Do you want your daughter looked after by and for you to give money to a person who behaves that way?

juliej00ls Thu 12-Dec-19 20:26:24

Forward her email on to the relevant authorities, Ofsted etc. and never let your daughter return. I appreciate as a working parent that’s hard but this sounds terrible.

firstimemamma Thu 12-Dec-19 20:26:36

Forgot to add the last sentence of my post meant find a new nursery - one with happier staff.

hungryHenry10 Thu 12-Dec-19 20:26:42

Did you actually make the complaint? If you did how did she know that it was you - apart from you saying you would but we all say things in the heat of the moment. But to be honest if they are going to be that short staffed and the owner doesn't treat her staff well, you might be better off moving your daughter as the situation must probably won't go away with new staff. You should contact the lEA also to see what they have to say as I'm sure they wouldn't be happy with a nursery shoe staffed either!

Not really much help but I can understand why you might be really cross.

OnlyFoolsnMothers Thu 12-Dec-19 20:26:44

I wouldn’t want my child there anymore- I’d be pleased they’d terminate my contract and not
Hold me to any forthcoming fees

insancerre Thu 12-Dec-19 20:26:48

Sounds a bit toxic
You are better finding a new nursery
Are you in Lancashire?

riceuten Thu 12-Dec-19 20:28:38

She hasn't been in touch with the early years team - she's panicking. Ring and ask to speak to them, saying you have concerns about an early years setting.

Definitely find a new nursery, though.

firstimemamma Thu 12-Dec-19 20:29:28

I think l they were wrong to blackmail you so from that perspective YANBU but you were wrong to interfere in the first place.

countdowntochristmas Thu 12-Dec-19 20:29:35

Surly I'd you raised a complaint you wouldn't want you child at that nursery anyway ?

OlaEliza Thu 12-Dec-19 20:29:37

What were you going to complain about?

CuriousaboutSamphire Thu 12-Dec-19 20:29:55

Do you mean she has no proof you are the source of the complaint or that you are not?

If either then forward back to the LEA team and ask them if they think she is being reasonable and if they support her in this, given she has no idea if you made the complaint. Point out that as you did not make the complaint you cannot satisfy her demands and so will lose your DDs place based on the owner's unprofessional conduct.

And most definitely withdraw your dd and find somewhere else to send her.

ChristmasSpirtsOnTheRocksPleas Thu 12-Dec-19 20:31:54

Well you clearly need to terminate the contract anyway. I would suggest you forward her email to ofstead.

OrangeTwirlGate Thu 12-Dec-19 20:34:14

The main point here is get your child in another nursery ASAP.

I wouldn’t want my precious child being in a place like that.

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